[deleted]
The fuck you working 60 hours. Jesus Christ. Go see your family and fuck off work.
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Submitted 4 months ago by Toasted_Breakfast@lemmy.today to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
titanicx@lemmy.zip 4 months ago
CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Some companies cut employees as a basic threat and the implication is that others pick up the slack.
HeerlijkeDrop@thebrainbin.org 4 months ago
Maybe they wouldn't be able to afford rent otherwise?
titanicx@lemmy.zip 4 months ago
Then move to a cheaper place, or get a better job.
whoisearth@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
When you die and reach the pearly gates is God really gonna be like “yeah I see you missed your kids soccer games but man in 2024 you really got those deliverables done for your work!”
Blackmist@feddit.uk 4 months ago
Those shareholders really appreciated that sacrifice.
l_isqof@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Kudos for talking up, mate. Great starting point.
We do share your pain.
worhui@lemmy.world 4 months ago
[deleted]whimsy@lemmy.zip 4 months ago
It’s okay if you don’t want to answer but I wanted to ask what makes you stay married to your wife if she’s abusive?
cuboc@lemmy.world 4 months ago
As others have stated: lose the 60 hour work week. That was insane when you were young and crazier as you get older. In 20 years the only people who remember your effort for your boss, are your children because you were never there for them.
An advice from my father in law that always stayed with me: if you can, try to find a job far enough to enable you to flip the mental switch from employee to house father and back, but nearby enough to not waste time commuting. He used to need 30 minutes for that. I need a 15 minute bicycle ride.
Also: long walks, running in the weekends and a few beers every night. Not proud of the latter.
l_isqof@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I stuck with 0% beer, as some brands are not as bad these days. Sacrifices we do for the kids…
chunes@lemmy.world 4 months ago
You have to start being more of a fuckup so people don’t rely on you so much.
Really helps to not make any dependents as well
Delphia@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Theres a reason dads make hobbies out of their yard, grilling and DIY.I have to do this shit anyway, it can either be what stops me from doing what I want or I can find the happiness and satisfaction in it.
My relaxation time might be ten minutes having a coffee in the back yard with the garden and lawn looking immaculate but it would have been 2 hours work to get it to “done” but 3 to get it to “perfect” because ultimately what was I gonna do with that hour? Watch some Youtube videos I only half give a fuck about or play a video game I’m mediocre at. Once you figure out you can also run a smoker while you do those chores at the end of the day everyone gets ribs.
Pacattack57@lemmy.world 4 months ago
You have to make time for yourself boss. You need to set boundaries with your job as well. 60 hours is too much.
l_isqof@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Well said, as that is what I do.
But god, it’s hard to set those boundaries so many times… Compromising on pay is one option, but it is certainly not great. Having said so, priorities did change when we had the kids.
ptolemai@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Alcohol and gaming (when i cant sleep) for me.
aceshigh@lemmy.world 4 months ago
By slowing down. Downsizing. Simplifying. Changing the environment. Maybe therapy. Maybe a support group. Maybe cutting your salary by 25%. But it sounds like you have a kid, so your options are limited - I wouldn’t recommend alcohol, gambling etc.
Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 4 months ago
53 here and I’m just rolling with the punches. Hopefully these will be the good old days
lando55@lemmy.zip 4 months ago
I like this attitude. It reminds me of how I get through some days at work by remembering that it’s all for the fam.
Still, it will be nice to look back on the good old days (now) from a comfortable chair in a quiet house many years from now :D
mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
mate you can’t do 60s in this situation, that’s a no-children person’s game
frog_brawler@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Chiming in as a dude in his 40’s without kids.
I’m not working 60 hours either. 45 is average.
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 months ago
Yo, Boss Fernando, is that you?
SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Mostly just the knowledge that someday, someday I will be able to rest
etherphon@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Idk how anyone handles anything, we’ve somehow turned this beautiful world into an absolute nightmare.
DioramaOfShit@lemmy.world 4 months ago
60 hour work week. That’s your problem right there.
aceshigh@lemmy.world 4 months ago
A possible challenge is that some men struggle to cut their salary because their job title, salary, lifestyle is a big part of their identity. Take that away and who are they?
arrow74@lemmy.zip 4 months ago
You know what makes cutting my salary hard? Everything is far too expensive. Kids even more so.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Idk, kids are pretty effective at making it clear that you are now the household NPC lol. Or at least that you’ve transitioned to a role as a supporting character.
2nd kid really hammered that one home.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 months ago
seriously. even single a 60 hour workweek is going to leave you with zero time to take care of yourself, let alone children.
exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 months ago
even single
It’s worth pointing out that coupling up often buys *more" leisure time, at least before kids. Many household tasks benefit from volume where doubling the output doesn’t actually double the work to be done (cooking, laundry) or where combining households basically consolidates two tasks into one (bills, cleaning, home maintenance).
I didn’t have all that much free time when I was single, but those dual income/no kids years were glorious.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 4 months ago
I’m doing 54, no kids, still utterly fucked.
RBWells@lemmy.world 4 months ago
It’s hard for everyone. 60 hours of work week sounds like you need a new job. That’s not something that can be sustained over the long haul and I don’t think it leaves you time for an affair or drinking habit. In terms of practical changes: Transition your kid to 9pm bedtime, get help with the cooking and hire someone to clean each week if you have to work that much and can’t do anything about it for now.
My husband has a busy season - during this time I do more of the household stuff because he is working 9-9 six days a week. I have a busy season too - during this time I don’t try to cook every day, husband helps out more.
But all year we get help with cleaning, every other week.
Mothra@mander.xyz 4 months ago
Considering you mention affairs and divorce I’m going to presume you have a relationship you are not happy with.
I can absolutely relate to being exhausted after work. But it’s the job you do more than the hours. I’ve had energy after a 50hr week, yet felt absolutely drained in other jobs with just 30hrs.
Catch 22 then, because you can’t improve your relationship if you are reduced to a zombie, and your relationship is supposed to help ground you against the drains of daily life.
The ideal answer would be to talk things with a professional therapist. Not sure if you are in a position to do that. Second best is, talk things calmly with your partner and see if it is possible to cut down hours of work, perhaps move somewhere more affordable, change your job, in order for you both to have more time enjoy yourselves and your family. It sounds like you can do without, but it is important.
Glifted@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Man, I landed a really good job I like where everyone is super chill and my work week is only 38 hours and I still feel it to some extent. Granted I feel way better than I did working crazy hours but I still feel exhausted
rantron@lemmy.zip 4 months ago
You have to find some time for yourself. I hear what you’re saying, I’m a principal at a school and father of three soon to be four. I lost myself and my family and my work.
Everything was supposed to be great but there was something missing. That something was myself. I didn’t hang out my friends anymore. I stopped playing dungeons& dragons and magic. No exercise, no fun outside of family.
Luckily for me I have an amazing partner, who supported me instead of doubt me when I told her something was missing. I got the whole gang back together. I play magic again, who really has time for d&d.
There’s that old saying that ranks so true to me. If you’re someone who constantly filling up other people’s vessels, you must make sure that you fill yours up as well.
You got this.
zxqwas@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Well 60 hours work week is tough and having children to take care of is going to be even harder. You’ll manage a while but not forever.
Find another job that lets you get away with 40 hours would be my first suggestion. Moving somewhere where pay to living cost ratio is better would also be an option.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I’ve been there and back, and I am currently there again.
Flamekebab@piefed.social 4 months ago
Can anyone handle a 60 hour work week? That’s insane.
__ghost__@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
It’s not impossible and not sustainable. A 12/5 or 10/6 is considered “normal” in my industry/company. It’s toxic af but a lot workplaces in the US bake in competition as either an incentive for compensation. Some teams have a mandatory oncall rotation that fits that schedule if not slightly more
The number of people replying anecdotally to this and other comments make me think it’s a lot more pervasive than I’d assumed. Young people in particular are being encouraged to work these kinds of hours to “get ahead” or “show initiative” in the hopes they don’t get laid off or overlooked for promotions
I personally work it and I cannot handle it. The second I’m home my brain is done, only have time to do some mild (unhealthy usually) mental decompression and sleep poorly lol
Flamekebab@piefed.social 4 months ago
I’ve no doubt it happens. My point was that it’s a terrible in so many ways. It’s such a simplistic approach to work - more hours doesn’t scale. It’s a great way to damage a company’s workforce and ruin people’s lives at the same time. Synergy!
AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
yes many do. I’m a college student and between classes and work 60 hours is pretty normal for most of us during the semester.
now once you add a social life, family, etc on top it becomes almost impossible pretty quick.
innermachine@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I used to regularly work 55-60 hour weeks. For a while between 2 jobs then at one. After a decade or so I have a house and work 45 hours a week on average, I keep feeling like I should work more as the bills are still tough but fuck I don’t miss working more than I do. If u have to do it, it doesn’t seem as bad than if you don’t. Perspective matters a lot.
Tujio@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I did 70+ pretty regularly back when I was young. Probably couldn’t sustain it now, though.
Flamekebab@piefed.social 4 months ago
I think I prefer my horror stories to have monsters in them.
MuttMutt@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Same. Did 72.5 hours in a 5.5 day workweek (Saturday was 5 hours) when I was 18. Also had an hour commute to and from the jobsite. We paved (concrete) right around 3 miles of road that week.
Got done bought a set of tires, got home, showered and crashed for about 16 hours. Was awake for a couple hours on Sunday and slept another 12 hours then went back to work Monday morning.
mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
I did it for six months straight around 7-8 years ago, and then on and off as required since.
I was fine with it when I was enjoying work and my work had variety in it - I could do my regular day with a bit of OT in the office, then go build stuff with my hands for a few hours in the shop.
At another job after that, 60s were more difficult because it was work from home, but I still did them as required because I could set my own schedule for the OT and half the time I was drinking and gaming simultaneously (some of the tasks required me to do something and wait on the computer to do compute). But still, the variety of work was key - I had to be able to change tasks and spend at least 10 hours on something that was interesting and different.
A 60 hour work week is stupid, imo. It takes up far too much of your personal time. Like anything, you can do it for a period of time, but it isn’t sustainable as it starts to eat into other aspects of your life.
It’s taken me nearly a year to transition away from a 50 hour standard week and constantly feeling like I should be working more. I had to learn how to just sit at home and do nothing, like drinking a coffee watching dawn come for ten minutes uninterrupted.
idk just sharing my experience. summary is that it’s possible short term if you enjoy it, but you need specific circumstances to be met. I was lucky my job gave me autonomy and flexibility, it wouldn’t have worked otherwise. and obviously I got paid overtime, I’m not working for free. and at both jobs I felt like I was appropriately compensated. I quit the first job when they stopped compensating me appropriately. I toned down the extra work at the second in the same situation.
dohpaz42@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Look, you need to find some way to get some you time. Start small. Only you can figure out what that means. But you’re absolutely right that it’s unrelenting, and it won’t stop. Talk to someone (a friend or a therapist). Don’t let it stay bottled up.
Good luck!
Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I don’t.
I just recently lost my IT job of 10 years. Things are looking extremely grim.
So escapism in the form of weed & late night gaming after the family has gone to sleep.
whoisearth@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
Please take this for the dark joke but as someone who has been in Corporate IT for 25 years, congrats on losing your job!
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 4 months ago
escapism in the form of weed & late night gaming after the family has gone to sleep.
I second this! Whatchu been playing?
veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I really appreciate that unexpected response.
Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Been going through games that have been on my backlog for, in some cases, a decade. Recently finished Shadow of Morder & Shadow of War. Currently playing Dying Light. My pc at the time could never handle it, Techland’s games are usually a bit ahead of their time graphically.
saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Just some random advice that has helped me. I don’t work as many hours but maybe this could help you:
- My wife and I give each other 2 hours breaks on the weekend or “slow” days if they happen. This makes an insane difference. Having that time feels like a mini vacation. Even smaller breaks can help a ton.
- Simple dinners (30min max to prep and cook) help a lot. Meal prep if you have time or buy meals that you just need to pop in the oven. Not awesome but better than spending a ton of time in the kitchen.
- Make at least one plan for yourself a week. Something like meeting a friend for lunch can help me to look forward to something.
- Having either my wife or myself look after the baby helps ensure the other person can get some work or cleaning done. When we both are with the baby all the time it will mean more work later.
- Some days just suck but it’s not always going to be that way.
affenlehrer@feddit.org 4 months ago
I feel the same and when I read your post I heard the lyrics of “The Message” of Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five in my head… “It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from going under”
eightpix@lemmy.world 4 months ago
For anyone who hasn’t listened to ALL of the lyrics from that song, go. Do it.
Alfredolin@sopuli.xyz 4 months ago
60 hours work week is not normal. Imho even 40 hours work week is too much. With that cleared, everything gets easier.
Toasted_Breakfast@lemmy.today 4 months ago
Ya it’s not forever. Just till Jan them I am done with an Internship I am working on
NegentropicBoy@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Hang in there. Then ease up on yourself.
Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 4 months ago
You are doing 60 hours a week on an internship?
morphballganon@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Simpler meals. Skimp on cleaning when necessary.
jballs@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Any sort of normal life while working 60 hours a week isn’t going to be easy. I don’t think being a family man is the problem here. Maybe consider looking for another job that isn’t as demanding?
Toasted_Breakfast@lemmy.today 4 months ago
The problem is I have an Internship for a graduate program that’s required for licensure I need to elevate my job to the next level. This nightmare will end, and honestly you are right. The moment I get 2 days off again and only work 40 hours a week things will stabilize. I’m just hating life right now and when my daughter had a meltdown in Costco because I wouldn’t get the cinnamon toast crunch? Bro… It makes me want to rip my hair out. What’s left of it anyway
oftenawake@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 months ago
I have four kids - thankfully I’m not in the USA. Trust me here? The meltdown isn’t about the cinnamon toast and neither do you have to buy it. Your own rage also isn’t about cinnamon toast, or your kid - these are the triggers not the cause.
Make sure you let your kids know that you love them and you care. Be on their side emotionally, even as you’re saying no to something. Direct your rage at predatory capitalism for your exhaustion, not your kid! They will forget the cinnamon toast but they won’t forget that you were angry with them if it happens a lot. Your relationship with your children is precious and delicate, and not worth wrecking for any amount of money.
Good luck, you are stronger than you know!
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 4 months ago
Some of them don’t, they keel over and die.
Congratulations on surviving! That is a good sign.
Next step: survive until you feel the urge to blame the younger generations for all problems.
fishy@lemmy.today 4 months ago
As I get older I continuously get more mad at the older generations.
sausager@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I’m 40 and the US has only gotten worse. Older generations have fucked us continuously. The only hope is to get out but it’s nearly impossible. I hate it here. I’ve lost all hope
netvor@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Man I’m 45 and I don’t blame the youth for any problems now. But maybe I’m just charging my blame lasers so that I can go even harder when I’m 65. Like, “when I was younger I never blamed the youths for problems but NOW, with YOU it’s justified!”.