Well, the jerk store called, and they’re running out of YOU!
Why does my brain think I still need counterpoints for arguments I had ten years ago?
Submitted 2 months ago by pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de to showerthoughts@lemmy.world
Comments
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 2 months ago
saltesc@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Because, naturally, it works on improving itself. This is just normal behaviour. As far as Darwinism goes, you’d be pretty undesirable if you made it this far with a brain that shutdown when in idle mode.
protist@mander.xyz 2 months ago
With the caveat that it can be easy for some people to trigger a stress response in themselves by ruminating on past events, at which point any benefit of contemplation may become outweighed by the negative effects of anxiety. Developing the ability to set aside a thought that’s causing you distress in the moment and learning to approach it from a more neutral or objective perspective are also powerful tools.
Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
It has to be ego. I set my ego aside constantly and try to be open minded, and I am very open minded, but sometimes in privacy it’s just so goddamn big for no fucking reason… Like when rehashing a 10-year-old argument in the shower.
RaoulDuke@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Fuck you dad! This spiked collar is a lifestyle not a phase!
marighost@piefed.social 2 months ago
Alternatively, imagining arguments you could have, and coming up with responses in the shower.
chunkystyles@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
I had a roommate that bitched at me for how I washed a pan poorly 20 years ago.
I still imagine arguing with him when I wash dishes maybe 30% of the time. It’s extremely stupid.
thatradomguy@lemmy.world 2 months ago
To prepare for the next time. Whatever they said to use affected us and so the defense mechanism is to not let that happen again. Also regrets.
Zachariah@lemmy.world 2 months ago
stairwell thoughts
200ok@lemmy.world 2 months ago
TIL, thanks!
altkey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
I’d probably try to reflect onto how this topic or that person are relevant to you right now. There’re rabdom chances to just remember stuff, but if it drove you to post it, you think that’s important, and this argument is probably ubresolved or led to a less than enjoyable results.
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
Because you’re not having enough interesting arguments now. Perhaps you have an instinct to want to grow and improve, but you’re not able to easily access that in the here and now.
I sympathise. Sometimes it’s not necessarily even about “winning” an argument, but just articulating your point well enough that things can move forwards. I find I am more likely to dwell on arguments where the other person was arguing against a point different than the one I was trying to make. In those cases, going over the argument in my head is usually me trying to think about how I could have better communicated my point in a manner that would allow the other person to engage with my actual points; perhaps then we could move forward productively and some change happens: either one of us causes the other to yield some ground, or I’m able to fortify my stance and come up with responses to new arguments. Either way, lack of closure sucks, especially when it feels stagnant.
Dwelling on past arguments isn’t healthy, but I suspect you already know that, or you wouldn’t have asked this question. Try not to beat yourself up about it too much though. Everyone ruminates sometimes, and trying to force yourself to not think of something is doomed to fail. It’s more effective to find new things to focus on to help you to move forward, but that’s an ongoing effort, and easier said than done.
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 2 months ago
In my experience if there’s a negative emotion (fear or shame usually) associated with a past situation which I don’t want to feel I think about it again and again in seach of a perspective that basically makes me look better. It’s futile. Best to just accept it as it happened, feel the feeling for a moment and then let it go.
AngryishHumanoid@lemmynsfw.com 2 months ago
In case a similar argument comes up again. This time you’ll be READY.
Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 months ago
panics; blurts out random song lyrics I haven’t heard since I was in 3rd grade
expatriado@lemmy.world 2 months ago
there is a hypothesis that nightmares are your brain preparing you for dangerous scenarios