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Sensitive Content10000 hours to become an expert, avg person poops for ~12 minutes a day. It would take 137 years to master.

⁨162⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨rumba@lemmy.zip⁩ to ⁨showerthoughts@lemmy.world⁩

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  • terminhell@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Thankfully my average time is about 30min. So I’ll reach that 10k when I’m about 55!

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    • NatakuNox@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Image

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  • Protoknuckles@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    No way it’s only 12 minutes a day. On average!?

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    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Depending on the day I’m in and out in like 4 minutes or so. What are you eating that takes an entire sitcom without commercials to come out???

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      • Protoknuckles@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        I mean, not every time, but I’m also not speedrunning it. Thats my time to relax, meditate, contemplate the universe. And let my flower bloom slowly and surely.

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      • Witchfire@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Pooping takes like a minute, browsing my emails and brainrot takes 29 minutes minimum

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      • macaw_dean_settle@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Four minutes or so 3 times a day would be 12 minutes. Some people go once a day others many. Saying your in and out in 4 minutes shows nothing.

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      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Bricks mostly.

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    • Archangel1313@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Maybe they aren’t including the time spent scrolling. It’s just the sphincter flexing moments that count.

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      • AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Uhhhhhhh how big are your poops? 12 minutes of shincter flexing A DAY?

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    • Chainweasel@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      12 minutes at a time, 3 times a day.
      Unless I’m at work.
      40 minutes per day 4 times between 5:00a-1:30p

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      • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        3 times a day? You should get checked for fructose intolerance.

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      • Takapapatapaka@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        This is a very appropriate thread to wish you a happy cake day!

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      • Bahnd@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        [Sing in the voice of Elmo] My boss makes a dollar I make a dime That is why I poop on company time.

        UK version: My supervisor makes a pound. I make a pence That is why I shit at the companies expense.

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    • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Image

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    • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Hey I read it on they internet, it must be true.

      The first search said 6m so I dug more.

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  • Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I’m at least a half hour, but it’s because I’m escaping the kids.

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  • remon@ani.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    12 minutes … and per day? How much are you people shitting?

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    • MimicJar@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Not enough if I want to master it in my lifetime.

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      • sxan@midwest.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Moar fiber!

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    • bieren@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      When do you think I browse the feds

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    • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      It takes me longer to wipe than poop. But to each their own.

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      • remon@ani.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Bidet masterrace!

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    • Maalus@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Like, 40 mins a day? It all depends on the person, someone with IBS can go to the toilet 4 - 5 times in the morning for instance. I think I already mastered shitting tbh

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      • remon@ani.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        I mean sure, if you have a condition. But it seems a quite a lot for the average person.

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    • Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Yeah I don’t think I’ve ever taken a 12 minute poop in my life.

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  • 01189998819991197253@infosec.pub ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    That’s why we still train when we poo. It’s because we’re all still noobs.

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  • Asafum@feddit.nl ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Don’t you dare take my dream away from me!!

    I WILL be a master pooper one day! Just you wait they’ll be saying “man that dude Asafum, now there’s a guy who can poop!”

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You can poop up to 10 times more if you also spout bullshit from your mouth. There are many politicians that are clearly masters.

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  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Bring a phone to the toilet with you and you could considerably shorten the time.

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    • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      That’s no longer pooping though. that’s enshit…er…tian…ment… something

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  • IckabodKobain@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Get your sphincter checked

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    • Vandals_handle@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      What about a plaid sphincter? Striped?

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