Comment on Surprise!
Flagstaff@programming.dev 20 hours ago
Two bisexual friends have independently told me from their own experiences that “bisexual” mostly = “gay with a dash of hetero,” effectively, and that it’s not at all 50/50. I wonder how true that is.
It’s a slider that is slid somewhere between 100% straight and 100% gay.
Every bi person is somewhere in between, and it’s nobody’s business to delegitimize that
For me it’s like 70% i lean twoards women, but there are some men i see that really get me going lol.
My wife tells me it's a spectrum.
It’s not as simple as that at all. Sexuality is a spectrum, it’s fluid, you’re not always born with it, and there are social factors at play. In some societies bi people live straight lives due to social pressure. On top of that, many bi guys often have more sex with guys because it’s easier and carries no risk of pregnancy. So yeah, your friend is just discriminating against bisexual people.
Depends on the person. Some people are more in the middle, some lean one way or the other, and others are more fluid and their attractions shift. There’s a whole spectrum of bisexuality. It’s also why there’s a distinction for pansexual, for people whom gender plays no role in attraction at all.
It is definitely a spectrum. My best friend of the last 20 odd years once said to me, “I’m theoretically bisexual, but honest to god bisexual in some ways. Theoretically in the sense that I cannot imagine myself being emotionally intimate with a man, but I wouldn’t shut it down if I ever found myself in a position where it was working for me. Honest to god in the sense that in the exact moment of peak horny, I am attracted to both men and women.”
Every serious relationship he’s ever had, he’s had with a woman.
Sounds like your friend might be bisexual heteroromantic. Happy to sex up anyone, but only romantically attracted to the opposite gender. I’ve had a few friends in similar boats of differing sexual and romantic attractions.
Yeah it’s really interesting just how broad it can all be.
For me, I would say that the magnitude of my attraction is roughly 50/50, but qualitatively, the attraction I feel towards a man is distinct from what I feel towards women.
A significant aspect that plays a role is also how I present to the world. From my appearance, most people would conclude that I am LGBTQ, and that usually means assuming I’m gay. This is useful because any bisexual’s dating pool is biased towards opposite sex partners; if I want to find gay or bisexual (or pansexual or asexual) women to date, it’s strategically useful to wear my sexuality on my sleeve, so to speak. This has the helpful side effects of filtering out the kind of straight asshole who says “why would you shave your hair like that? You might get more male attention if you made yourself look pretty”
Sexuality is messy. The attraction I feel is pretty equal. How the world perceives me is more gay than straight (because the world likes to pretend that bisexuality doesn’t exist, and then act like I’m changing my mind when I “switch from being gay to straight” or vice versa (/facepalm). In terms of who I actually date or hook up with, the balance is probably skewed towards men. These three components (attraction, outward identification/presentation and behaviour) make sexuality complex, especially for bisexual people; I would wager that there are many people who identify as straight and have had no same sex relationships, but who experience some level of same-sex attraction. It also gets more complex when one considers that many people experience sexual attraction and romantic attraction differently. For example, I have a friend who is asexual, but homoromantic.
You might find it interesting to read about the Kinsey scale, which looks at sexuality as a spectrum, with exclusively [homosexual/heterosexual] on the extreme ends of the scale, and degrees of bisexuality between them.
I once dated this bisexual girl and she was like “if you’re hot I don’t care if you’re male or female” and that’s how I see it.
Then again, men think that a gay man immediately wants to have sex with them. Society is stupid sometimes
I’ve also seen that kind of homophobia amongst straight girls and women, though it manifests somewhat differently. The most uncomfortable thing about same-sex changing rooms as a person who experiences same-sex attraction isn’t actually the attraction (because checking out people in that context would be weird, regardless of gender or sexuality), but people who treat you like a predator because you’re queer.
Not remotely true at all. Shit dumb people say.
Bet your bi friends are jealous that a bi person is being happy in a straight relationship.
Girly boys are way hotter than girls, change my mind
First_Thunder@lemmy.zip 19 hours ago
A bisexual friend of mine said mostly straight with a dash of gay
porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml 17 hours ago
It’s almost like there’s a spectrum
PalmTreeIsBestTree@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
I kinda am into the theory we all are a little bi to a degree. Sexuality is a spectrum like autism.
Evkob@lemmy.ca 3 hours ago
Some people are definitely 100% gay, and some and definitely 100% straight, but I agree in that I think the majority of people could potentially be attracted to people of all genders.
kameecoding@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
I mean, you are technically correct, because 0 degree is a thing and so is 100.
oppy1984@lemdro.id 11 hours ago
This was my ex girlfriend, she had her a girlfriend when we met but they both understood that she was more attracted to men. We had a sit down early on and agreed that from time to time they would need some alone time, and that worked until they broke up over money.
The funny part was they were both bi, my girlfriend was more attracted to men, and her girlfriend was more attracted to women. So I saw both sides of it.