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Yeah I’ve always thought it was weird that women are supposed to give up their identity to a man to be married. I’m not really sure why hyphenated names aren’t as popular in the western world or why people don’t occasionally chose to take the woman’s name. I know that women don’t have to change their names, but then often you’ll have the kids as the same name as the father anyway but not the mother. So I’ve heard many women say that they did it so their kids would share their last name.

Hell, I don’t even like my father. But my name is who I am and I like it.

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Lauchmelder@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
with hyphenated names: what would the children do then? you can’t keep adding more and more names like that (both practically and legally in some cases). serious question because I’ve also thought about that

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- dingus@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  I think it varies with culture, but from my understanding, usually they take the first name of the two hyphens for their own marriage.
  
  So you have John Doe and Jane Smith. They hyphenate their names as Doe-Smith and the children do as well.
  
  Say they have a daughter Sally Doe-Smith who meets Tim Johnson-Star. So they marry and hyphenate their names as Johnson-Doe.
  
  Yes, in examples like this, it still ends up as getting rid of the maternal aspect of it in the end…but the point is still that both parties are keeping part of and changing another part of their names. It’s not an all or nothing total switch of identity. The lineage is male, but the here and now is an equal compromise of identity.
  
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  - trolololol@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    Not enough to balance things out
    
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    dingus@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    Maybe not quite, but iml it’s certainly leaps and bounds better that altering your identity entirely in submission of a partner.
    
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- trolololol@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  You clearly haven’t met Brazilians
  
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- JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Name_blending
  
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- phcorcoran@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  In Canada, you legally pick up to 2 of your parents’ last names for your last name
  
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  - uis@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    In ~~Soviet~~ Russia you pick a last name. Any last name. Except containing numbers, non-letter, more than one hyphen, rank or job title.
    
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- LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  My name is Maximus Decimus Arnold Garfield Butcher Smith Hendrickson Meridius, and you shall have my name.
  
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countrypunk@slrpnk.net ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
The way that I’m gonna do it is whoever has the coolest/most unique last name is the one whose name is adopted. If they’re both equally cool, then hyphenated it is.

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uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
It is weird because we as a civilization believe women are persons and corporations are not. And sooner or later, molotovs will be theown in support of this notion, since silence is being interpreted as consent.

Whoops. That was my outside voice.🪀🪀💣🪀

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- dingus@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Sorry I’m not understanding what you mean
  
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  - uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    The reason women take their husband’s name is because they’re property, and rights to their person transfers from their father to their husband.
    
    That’s it.
    
    And right now (at least in the States, maybe in some parts of Europe) there are large far-right movements trying to return society to those days.
    
    Find your crew or your fam, and have them give you your given name. Then choose your surname. Break free.
    
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    dingus@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    Ah ok yeah your first comment was sarcastic then haha
    
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lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
How do hyphenated names work after the next generation? Seems like that would get out of hand quickly when people with hyphenated last names start having kids with each other.

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- Default_Defect@midwest.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  “Gifting” kids with absurdly long names isn’t new.
  
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LesserAbe@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Hyphenated names are too long. One of my good friends has one and people just refer to him and his siblings by the initials of their last name, like “Tim MP”

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shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Been divorced twice, neither of them gave much of a shit and never changed their surname back. My wife’s Filipino and was very proud to take my surname. Ran right out and changed all her documents. That was nice!

I’m in the opposite place! Met my dad when I was 20 and he really wanted me to change to his surname. Sorry dad, that would have felt really weird.

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varyingExpertise@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
So, just do what a few couples in my circle of friends did and use her last name after marriage?

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- dingus@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  I would think it would be just as weird to collectively switch to matronymic last names as a society. It would make more sense to me if couples just decided which name they liked better and went with that, be it coming from the man or woman. So a more even split of that sort of pattern is what I mean.
  
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  - varyingExpertise@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    Yeah, that’s what people do here in Germany.
    
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    dingus@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    Ah I didn’t know that! Interesting!
    
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