They would sentence you to death while demanding that you pay for your own execution.
Sony Music Among Parties Pushing To Cut Off Internet for Pirating Customers — Supreme Court Asked To Intervene
Submitted 1 year ago by moe90@feddit.nl to technology@lemmy.world
https://animecorner.me/sony-music-supreme-court-cut-off-internet-piracy/
Comments
Whirling_Cloudburst@lemmy.world 1 year ago
fed0sine@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Libertarian police
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.
Original Credit: newyorker.com/…/l-p-d-libertarian-police-departme…
scintilla@lemm.ee 1 year ago
This made me audibly sigh. They won’t put it like this but this genuinely the future some people want.
sarcasticsunrise@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Thank you for this. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard on my lunch break ever
overload@sopuli.xyz 1 year ago
Is music piracy is still a major thing these days? I’ve not even considered it for years, because every music streaming platform has all the music, it seems.
Movie and TV show piracy must be so much more rampant because of the fragmentation creating inconvenience to consumers.
boonhet@lemm.ee 1 year ago
It’s mostly hipsters with modded iPods, everyone else just streams music. You can stream it in lossless quality on some platforms and download most played songs to your device if your mobile bandwidth is limited.
Hell I’m a weird hipster who likes to have local copies of things and even I’ve given up.
scintilla@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Music piracy is just so much harder than streaming.
daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Audiophiles like me listen to local .flac files through external DAC’s for better sound. And I’m not a hipster. Also lots of music I like isn’t even on streaming.
errer@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I use Foobar and Plexamp to listen to my FLAC collection. I have a lot of magazine CD inserts not readily available on the streaming platforms. Just feels really good knowing companies like Spotify aren’t making a dime off me.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
Music piracy isn’t rampant at all. It’s the “immigrant crime is out of control” of the internet.
TachyonTele@lemm.ee 1 year ago
If anything, youtube is the biggest sharer of pirated music. You can listen to anything on it for free, from anyone.
FiskFisk33@startrek.website 1 year ago
as digitized almost all societal functions are, we really should define basic internet access as a human right.
iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org 1 year ago
Japanese corporate culture is fucking terrible. I don’t understand how anyone can support these gaming companies.
pycorax@lemmy.world 1 year ago
UMG and Warner Bros are Japanese? Lol
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
Japanese corporate culture is atrocities ≠ American corporate culture isn’t atrocious
Both need some major reforms in order to be just non-awful, let alone acceptable.
skribe@aussie.zone 1 year ago
Maybe Sony should have some things cutoff for that root kit, hmmm?
Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’m so glad the internet hasn’t forgiven them for that.
I’m a bit sad that not everyone remembers when they made up a movie critic so they would have good quotes to put on ads for Sony Pictures movies.
dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I also haven’t forgiven them for trying to sue people for simply watching the Geohot video, or removing alternative OS functionality from the PS3, or for trying to reinvent MMC/SD memory cards in a different shape and charge more for for them. Hell, I still haven’t forgiven them for SonicStage.
I won’t buy anything from Sony for any reason. I don’t care what it is. I made damn sure my most recent camera purchase wasn’t a Sony, no matter what the reviews said. That’s because they pissed me off 20 years ago and haven’t demonstrated any improvement in behavior since. Nerds have long memories.
QBertReynolds@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Absolutely diabolical. Cutting off internet access is no different than cutting of electricity in modern society. Sure, you can live without it, but everything from paying your bills to getting a job or having a social life just got a whole lot harder. Fuck anyone who thinks this is a reasonable response.
Empricorn@feddit.nl 1 year ago
Internet access is absolutely a utility in every function. And like a utility, most people don’t have a realistic alternative. Not without sky-high prices and/or slower speeds and less reliability. Thanks, Donald Trump.
Takios@discuss.tchncs.de 1 year ago
The cruelty is the point
dulce_3t_decorum_3st@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Also, the ignorance regarding VPNs.
ERROR_100_000_100@infosec.pub 1 year ago
Can we do a “Cut Off” for CEOs? (French Style 😏)
MagicShel@lemmy.zip 1 year ago
“You wouldn’t SteAL a gUilLotINe!”