I think you’re making the exact mistake he is asking you not to.
Calm your tits
Submitted 1 year ago by ickplant@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/837f85b9-7572-47cf-b6e9-f4e5122a4925.jpeg
Comments
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Bonus@lemm.ee 1 year ago
*Don’t forget for one second just because I’m not a graphic designer doesn’t mean I don’t get constantly told I fucked up centered justification. *
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
His first move would be to throw a hissy fit, collapse as soon as you touched him, feign a heart attack and threaten to sue you … all while shouting that you’re going to be deported
kautau@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Either that or since concealed carry is legal in a ton of states just start firing blindly in every direction and then basically everything you said
TheRealShadeSlimmy@lemmy.world 1 year ago
“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.”
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
That’s beautiful … I haven’t been threatened by an online US Marine in years … I feel honoured … thanks :)
DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 1 year ago
When training extensively in unarmed combat, does one employ prosthetics?
RattlerSix@lemmy.world 1 year ago
[deleted]ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
Which is why as a person of colour (I’m a big brown Indigenous Canadian) I will never engage with people like this … because I know that if this happened, there is a high likelihood that the police and courts would take his version seriously.
roguetrick@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Just because I have COPD doesn’t mean I won’t shit on your floor.
Thcdenton@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I need this on a shirt
frog_brawler@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Yes! And have the Statue of Liberty holding an AR.
“Just because I have COPD doesn’t mean I won’t shit on your floor.”
Pudutr0n@feddit.cl 1 year ago
What if someone threatens his corgis tho
fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com 1 year ago
Dude I’ll jump in to protect the corgis
Madison420@lemmy.world 1 year ago
You’ve never met a corgi huh? They don’t need help they’ll nip the shit out of people they like and downright attack people they don’t. The queen had literal warnings provided to people who entered her residence because they bit so many worlds leaders.
Rolder@reddthat.com 1 year ago
The pair of cute corgis really sells it
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Can confirm. Our corgis are significantly more dangerous than I am. Doubly, so if they think you might try to clip their nails.
Rolder@reddthat.com 1 year ago
Angry loaves of bread!