So it’s like de-federating
Comment on sus
nebula42@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
in case anybody who doesn’t know, poly doesn’t mean everyone is dating each other. Someone in a poly relationship can date someone who has no interest in dating their other partners. ofc a good rule of thumb is that everyone in this metaphorical web should be able to sit down and have dinner with each other without being mean or violent with each other.
ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 1 day ago
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 1 day ago
Explain relationships using the Fediverse. Please and thank you.
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
La Vie Bohème!
Hugin@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yeah people not dating their partners partners is much more common than everybody dating everybody.
lugal@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
I know people living in a “polyamorate” or something, so they are as a group of people in a relationship
DomeGuy@lemmy.world 1 day ago
While this is certainly a valid form of romance, it’s more accurately described as “non-exclusive simultaneous relationships” than a single “polyamorous relationship”.
Some people really do live in multi-partner committed households, but those seem most often to be dominated by a single person, such as fringe Mormon polygamy. And the most common form of "polyamory’ is probably “affair-tolerant monogamy.”
It’s a big complicated world, and variations of how humans with form intimate relationships fills all possibilities when there is no enforced legal prohibition. (And,.sometimes, even then.)
vapeloki@lemmy.world 1 day ago
As a poly person: no, it is not a “affiar-tolerant monogamy”. That is an open relationship.
Polyamorous partnerships are far more committed. Also, sex is not always a part of it.
Of course there is the concept of a primary partner, but there are lot of poly folks that thislike this idea.
But what all of those relationships have in common: there is no case where only one partner is poly. All is about communication and consent.
And to the core topic: There is this thing like a polycule. A network of people with somehow connected relationships. Breakups in those structures are often consensual and no big fuzz. But if it gets dirty, at least in my experience, the offending member of the polycoule gets shown the door. And most of the times, those are the new ones. People that think the could convince their partner to get monogamous because they are the only one that is needed.
Sorry for the long post, you hit a nerve there ;)
DomeGuy@lemmy.world 1 day ago
No apologies necessary*. I certainly wasn’t trying to offend, just be accurate in model setting.
A more accurate umbrella term for “affair tolerant monogamy” would probably be “non-monogamous”, with the dividing line between that and “polyamory” being exactly what you said : all persons in the relationship cluster knowing the stances of all other participants.
Accurate and non-offensive terminology can be hard.
It does circle us back to OP, though. The answer to “what happens when one couple breaks up in a polucule” is a loud and emphatic that depends on what type of polucule you’re in.
(*: no apologies needed from you. To the extent that I caused you any distress I sincerely apologize. Causing pain was not at all my intent.)
SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
I engaged in the “affair tolerant monogamy” variant when I was younger. I discovered there’s a positive curvilinear relationship between amount of drama and number of romantic partners. I am sometimes barely able to handle my own incidental drama, so it didn’t last more than a few years.
peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 1 day ago
Having been divorced from one monogamous relationship
That graph sounds plainly exponential rather than needing its own coordinate system.
Greg@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Like a walrus