SoleInvictus
@SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
- Comment on It's not? 3 days ago:
That’s a fair request. Just keep in mind that you asked for this. You asked!
My partner has an Amazon account that we occasionally use for purchases. A few months back, I saw this absolutely bullshit item listed for a stupidly high price, so I left it a brief but scathing review. After hitting submit, I had an invitation to join something I’d never heard of before: Amazon Vine.
I learned Vine is a program where sellers can offer up “free” (I pay income tax on the estimated value) things to people in exchange for reviews. Honest reviews. Never before have I handed out so many one- and two-star reviews and they love me for it. I get three things per day with a maximum value of $100 each. It was really cool at first! I picked up all those weird little gadgets that I had to considered buying but never really wanted enough to spend the money. Eventually, though, I ran out things I wanted, plus the looming tax debt was growing, so I decided to be more strategic about my acquisitions.
One thing I frequently saw was dildos. Some days I saw more dicks than a urologist. Oh, and the variety! Double sided, single sided, with and without suction cups. With and without balls! Big, small, long, short, thick, and thin. White, black, brown, pink, green, red, orange, blue, and clear. Monster dicks, dog dicks, horse dicks, dragon dicks, an alien dick that lays eggs, a dick coming out of a rose, a rose that looks like a dick, a 16" dick with a bendy internal skeleton (it has a knee!!!), a dick with an electric clit nibbling mouth, an octopus tentacle, a monster tentacle, even a multi-lobed, size graduated ass blaster. The best part? They all have a tax value of $0. No tax! 100% free dick! So now I have the dildo bucket: a bog-standard 5 gallon bucket full of dildos. I try to nab as many dildos as I can each day to fill the bucket.
When you have this many dildos, the world is your fuck oyster. When my partner or I unbox a new shipment, we prank each other with them, hiding them throughout the house. They hid a 12" black dildo somewhere two weeks ago and I still have no idea where it’s at. Just the other day, they refused to wake up from a nap on time. Dildo to the face! They woke up. I made a tasteful succulent arrangement with a big black cock right in the middle. Friends or family coming into town? Give them the gift of a dildo forest hiding in their shower, 30+ suction cup dildos gently swaying in welcome. I plan to hide a dildo up my neighbor’s truck’s exhaust pipe - don’t worry, we’re friends. Potato launcher? Cock cannon! The possibilities are truly infinite.
- Comment on It's not? 3 days ago:
As someone currently collecting a massive number of free Amazon dildos*, I can authoritatively concur with this statement. If I had a nickel for every “silicone” dildo that is actually TPU… well, I’d currently have $1.15.
*for purposes of mayhem, not actual use.
- Comment on Why doesn't anybody get notified about warrants for their arrest? 1 week ago:
This is correct. Story time!
A friend of mine was arrested due to a warrant from an unpaid traffic violation ticket for driving without proof of insurance. It wasn’t paid because the ticket was dismissed after they later showed they did have insurance, but this was not recorded in the proper system.
Five years later, they were arrested after being pulled over for a burned out brake light. They spent most of a day in jail. Luckily, they kept proof of the dismissal, otherwise they’d have been held accountable for the government’s mistake. No compensation was provided for their time in jail and missed work. Murica!
- Comment on Why are fruits and berries healthy, even though they are mostly just sugar? 1 week ago:
You’re just another shill for big juice, Pulptastic.
/s in case it’s not obvious
- Comment on Why are fruits and berries healthy, even though they are mostly just sugar? 1 week ago:
They’re probably thinking about glucose, which is the sugar in “blood sugar”. You’ll die without it, but it’s created endogenously in the liver and kidneys.
- Comment on I can't find a single decent bedtime story online. 90% of the articles are AI slop. 2 weeks ago:
I seem to recall a real snoozefest about a guy named Warren Peese.
- Comment on Mmmm... Yeah. It checks out. 2 weeks ago:
I can’t even get one of my cats past intermediate algebra, and the other keeps confusing the Kronecker delta with the partial derivative delta. I’ll keep trying, I won’t fail them.
- Comment on Mmmm... Yeah. It checks out. 2 weeks ago:
This will totally dox myself to anyone who might be in or know someone in an old friend group.
I’m a very furry person - I joke that I put the hair suit in hirsute - but at least it’s soft! Years upon years ago, I had a one night stand with my then future partner’s (now ex’s) best friend. It was bad. Really, awkwardly bad. The kind of bad where I woke up the next morning and, instead of trying for another go, groaned inwardly because they were still there, a living reminder of how bad it was.
I took out my phone and hastily messaged my best friend, asking her advice on politely dealing with this. Unbeknownst to me, my guest was awake, messaging my future partner. She described being barely awake in the early morning, petting my cat. I didn’t have a cat or any pets. As she became more aware, she realized she was petting my chest.
Apparently some humans think I’m a big stupid cat too.
P.s. She also thought the sex was awful.
- Comment on Mmmm... Yeah. It checks out. 2 weeks ago:
LIDAR. Cats don’t even have the concept of it.
- Comment on BREAKING NEWS: We did it, guys! 20 poptarts! 3 weeks ago:
A shitpost so wholesome, of such quality, it has become a compost.
- Comment on Would-be City of Heroes successor, Ship of Heroes, decides to launch the MMO with a $45 price tag and a $15 monthly subscription and it's, er, going about as well as you'd expect 3 weeks ago:
Especially if someone gets to assassinate Lord British again.
- Comment on FFS Plex, the server is on my local network 3 weeks ago:
Same here. I have no complaints about the service and it’s easy for my tech illiterate family and friends, but I’ll switch as soon as they try to charge pass owners for new features.
“Try our new Plex Pass Lifetime* Plus!”
*Valid for the lifetime of the product^†^.
~†2~ ~years~ - Comment on FFS Plex, the server is on my local network 3 weeks ago:
- Comment on Linkwarden v2.13 - open-source collaborative bookmark manager to collect, read, annotate, and fully preserve what matters (tons of new features!) 🚀 3 weeks ago:
This looks great! Yet another container for our poor home server.
- Comment on Google just broke *all* third-party web clients, including yt-dlp; a full JS implementation is now required. 3 weeks ago:
YoutubeDL-Material. It works great and I’ve found it downloads videos from other sources too.
- Comment on Google just broke *all* third-party web clients, including yt-dlp; a full JS implementation is now required. 3 weeks ago:
My self hosted downloader similarly didn’t skip a beat.
- Comment on Can you think of any now? 3 weeks ago:
Depending on the concentration, it would hurt as it’s a bit of an acid, plus ATP outside of the cell is one of the mechanisms that drives inflammation, but it won’t give you extra energy or anything.
ATP is used to transfer energy more than store it, more like a wire than a battery. The average adult has about 250g of ATP in their body (for my fellow Americans: about one rather chunky hamster) but it’s recycled about 200 times a day, so would require 50kg (6 watermelons or two average labradoodles) if it was used and discarded.
ATP has been around since the beginning of life or near enough, and evolution is a deranged, cat-piss-soaked hoarder that makes use of whatever is already lying around, so ATP also does several things beyond energy transfer. This also means where ATP is allowed and in what quantity is fairly controlled. To that end, there’s a class of enzyme called ectonucleotidases that’s found on the outside of cells. One of the things it does is keep the level of circulating ATP and things like it low, so whatever was injected would get chopped up pretty quick.
- Comment on Steady 3 weeks ago:
Yeah, I have sleep apnea and my SpO2 drops into the eighties once or twice a night.
Central apnea: fun for the whole family.
- Comment on Can you think of any now? 3 weeks ago:
This is why partially why fiber helps with bulking and pooping. Fiber is “fiber” because it’s made of things we can’t digest, but our gut microbes can. One of the byproducts of their utilizing it is SCFAs, short chain fatty acids. These confer various benefits like reduced inflammation and enhanced mucous production, which helps you drop a deuce.
Feeding your microbes also means you grow more of them, which makes your turds bigger and easier for your intestines to push along.
Yet another fun fact: ruminants like cows ferment otherwise indigestible plant matter in their guts, breaking it down and growing absolutely huge quantities of microbes in the process. Then they digest those microbes. That’s how they get enough protein. A cow is a mooing, shitting house of horrors if you’re a microbe.
- Comment on Can you think of any now? 3 weeks ago:
Friendly neighborhood microbiologist here. You’re right except for one thing: most cells can use sugar directly through anaerobic respiration. Mitochondria allow aerobic respiration, which utilizes oxygen and is far more efficient, albeit a bit slower, and produces carbon dioxide as its end product.
Fun fact: ever wonder where your weight goes when you lose weight? CO2. You literally breathe most of it out.
I can get as nerdy as you want if anyone has any questions.
- Comment on Wobble wobble 4 weeks ago:
It depends on the speed and size of the centrifuge, the mass of the load, and the magnitude of the imbalance. Someone else mentioned an ultracentrifuge, typically a large, washing-machine-like device that can spin larger loads at high velocity. The amount of energy released if they become significantly unbalanced is pretty huge: they have a containment layer, but some could kill you if the load got through and hit you.
On the flip side, I may have intentionally ran unbalanced microcentrifuges a few (many, it was many) times as a grad student because I was too tired and lazy to make a counterweight. I just held it down with fairly firm pressure and it was fine. That’s not very good for its bearings, though. Sorry lab manager!
- Comment on 'My Advice to Users Is to Accept Reality and Tune, or to Not Play' — Randy Pitchford Is at the 'Get a Refund From Steam' Stage of the Borderlands 4 PC Performance Backlash 4 weeks ago:
And Empress is gone, though they were pretty toxic so that’s no big loss for me.
- Comment on GN's GPU smuggling documentary is finally back up after being fraudulently DMCA'd by Bloomberg. Go give them a watch to try to make up for the lost traction! 5 weeks ago:
100%. I’m a microbiologist so I asked ChatGPT to teach me about CRISPR. It was not great.
- Comment on Google admits the open web is in ‘rapid decline’ 5 weeks ago:
I think this is a really good idea. A baby server for every privacy concerned house. Make it simple enough that customizing software features is like putting together Legos, but leave in the potential for complexity as some users grow.
- Comment on We Investigated Tesla’s Autopilot. It’s Scarier Than You Think - More Perfect Union 1 month ago:
You know what really pisses me off? Some of the newer models have radar built in again (no ultrasound though). Tesla just doesn’t use it.
- Comment on There is no good reason why there is still homelessness and poverty 1 month ago:
I’d prefer to feed them but I’m sure we can find volunteers to feel them too.
- Comment on Good luck! 1 month ago:
You can rent the space for only $1600/month in San Francisco!
- Comment on Android’s most beloved launcher may be done for good 1 month ago:
Same. I loudly exclaimed “FUUUUUUCK” as I read the article, much to the confusion of my partner.
- Comment on Practice makes perfect 1 month ago:
Fuck yeah it does. I learned better emotional regulation and how to analyze, form, and deconstruct arguments thanks to Reddit’s general argumentative douchebaggery. Now I’m an even more insufferable prick than ever!
- Comment on Google: 'Your $1000 phone needs our permission to install apps now'". Android users are screwed - Louis Rossmann 1 month ago:
Same, though this will be the push the community needs to really launch a Linux phone. It’ll suck for awhile, but I’m looking forward to debating phone distros with all of you.
