I was just randomly checking out what Funerals costs and was shocked how expensive it was! €3.500 to €5.500! I live in north Germany, and we have here some very deep Woods. So I was thinking what would happen if I just die there. Let’s say no one ever finds me. Are Animals just going to eat me, and will I just be gone in a couple of years?
Funeral homes don’t want you to know this one weird trick!
CandleTiger@programming.dev 9 months ago
I’m imagining what happens is they organize a giant search party to look for you (thus is not the good kind of fishy party) Eventually they find your corpse and put it in a refrigerator for a long time while your relatives argue with the police about whether you were kidnapped and muttered. Somebody pays for all this, maybe the tax payers, maybe your relatives, I don’t know. Then after all that you finally get to have your expensive funeral but on top of being sad, everybody is frustrated.
I’m thinking, better all around if you just don’t die quite yet because that shit is just awkward.
Gluck auf!
catarina@kbin.social 9 months ago
I love the sentiment: "just don't die because it's awkward AF". If "joie de vivre" doesn't make you cling to life, there's always social anxiety even after death 🤣
teft@lemmy.world 9 months ago
So what you’re saying is that you need to make the crime scene interesting so people aren’t frustrated. Got it.
Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 9 months ago
A tripwire that sets off a bunch of confetti when they find your corpse.
Risk@feddit.uk 9 months ago
What if I yeet myself into a volcano and leave a note explaining?
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 9 months ago
No, Mr Frodo! I won’t let you!
Scubus@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
What happens if I commit suicide by fire? And maybe with a fan to blow away the ashes?
Basically what if there is no body?
yokonzo@lemmy.world 9 months ago
So an incineration to ashes requires something like several sustained hours at 4000⁰, you would basically have to build a pyre
LillyPip@lemmy.ca 9 months ago
Isn’t self immolation fairly agonising? I always assumed fire is the worst way to go.