How do you respond to unwanted advice?

Comments

• Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  If it’s useful advice:

  A: “Always knew those two brain cells of yours would come in handy one day.”

  B: “Thanks, I’ll try that.”

  If it isn’t:

  A: “Man why didn’t I think of that? Oh right, because it’s stupid!”

  B: “Thanks, I’ll try that.”

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• StrawberryPigtails@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Listen to them, and go “okay”. Then if it was helpful, follow the suggestion. More often than not, though, the advice is not helpful. I’ll still listen and go “okay”, and then go and do whatever it is that I thought was best.

  Painful truth is that I am not an expert in everything. I don’t know everything. Even having reached middle age, I’ve not experienced everything. But by listening to those around me, I can often learn something. That thing may not always be what the advice giver intended, (often it’s “This person is an idiot”) but learning is good.

  The most important piece of information you can ever learn is “Where can I find more information?” Occasionally it’s the annoying asshole that keeps giving unsolicited advice.

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  • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If the advice is unsolicited, it’s u likely that they advice giver has enough context to actually give good advice.

    There’s exceptions there (“hey, you shouldn’t lick electrical outlets”, for example. Or a more experienced person at work suggesting something like “hey, try it this way,”)

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• Steve@communick.news ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Option A: Try it.
  Option B: Ask for details about why it’s better. Option C: Ignore them. Option D: Destroy the thing or person they love most in this world, and coldly smile at their lamentation.

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• BombOmOm@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  from a, a coworker and b, a manager

  A coworker and a manager at your company gave you advice about your job?

  If that is the case, you should take it seriously. Make sure you know why they think their suggestion is better than what you are doing. You don’t know everything, there is a darn good chance they are trying to make you better at your job.

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• wondrous_strange@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Always thank them and look sincire. That can’t hurt. Do consider it thoroughly, and when possible, show them you acted upon it, for example in your next task, when giving an update, give it in such a way than mentions said advice, even if you took another path, and explain you considerations then.

  From my experience, people are not interested in the best professional outcome as much as they are interested in having some meaning, weight or control. Use it to your advantage to get ahead

  If the advice was garbage and you know it, try to explain why it was good advice “although I had to do x y since the advice is more fitting if we were dealing with a b”

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• Artisian@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  When possible, I like asking them to show me. That way you at least get to skip one work task.

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  • wondrous_strange@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That’s a good idea

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• DaniNatrix@leminal.space ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I get a little triggered by unsolicited advice as I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse and, for me personally, it was weaponized as a means of control, destructive criticism, manipulation etc. In general, I tend to take it as a sign that whoever is giving it isn’t a good fit for me in a friendship/relationship paradigm. In personal relationships, I find it is almost always intrusive, disrespectful, and/or harmful to the relational bond.

  However, a professional context can be different. Unsolicited advice from a manager could be an attempt at coaching/mentoring and I would give it consideration. If it’s coming from a coworker in my field with more experience than me, who I also respect, same response as above. A coworker in an unrelated department who I don’t respect? Ignore advice and make an internal note that they are likely not my kind of people.

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• queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  It really depends on the advice, and my relationship with the advice giver. I generally give advice at least a thought, even if it was unwanted, unless I have a reason to mistrust the advisor. As for how I respond to the person, if it’s a friend I’ll usually have followup questions, for people I know less well it’s usually a cordial variant of “hmm, interesting perspective” and then I have to think on it for a while before I respond, if I respond at all.

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  • wondrous_strange@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Follow up questions are also a great idea. If the advice is bad, navigate to the conclusion you want with the questions and try to consult the advicing person in such a way that they will have to deal with the shortcomings of the advice

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• Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I think everybody has pretty much nailed how to verbally respond, but I think it’s important to mention how to internally respond to it.

  Any advice given should be honestly considered. It’s human nature to think our own idea is better than anyone else’s.

  Sometimes the situation is unique and other people don’t know all the finer details like you do, and what worked for them just doesn’t apply to you.

  Other times, they may know more you think they do. Don’t take it as gospel, but consider any warnings or possible solutions that didn’t cross your mind before.

  More information and diverse perspectives create better solutions.

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• underscores@lemmy.zip ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  can I get an example ? what field are you working in ?

  I would say something like “that’s a good idea, I’ll think about it” and so on where it’s non-commital but affirming. But I don’t hate anyone on my team and consider their advice to be mostly in good faith.

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• slazer2au@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  K, thanks.

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  • wondrous_strange@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Don’t answer like that, it makes you look petty and condescending

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    • slazer2au@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Well maybe they should ask if I would like some feedback instead of forcing it.

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• Jtee@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Smile and waves boys

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• _haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Ah ok, sure, got it, understood, etc.

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• Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Aah. Aha. Ahaa. Ah.Hmm. mmh. Aha.

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