[deleted]

Comments

• Diddlydee@feddit.uk ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yes, it would be stupid. The religious beliefs of her parents have no bearing on your life. You do need to man up if she’s having the baby, though.

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• HubertManne@piefed.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Historically its very common and its very likely you or the child will want to know about you or the child. Your gonna have responsibility for the child whether you like it or not. You can give input on abortion but its going to be the womens call. Even if aborted its going to be a possibility that will haunt you for the rest of your life. You don't need to marry to do any of that but you can get divorced if the marriage does not work out. That being said marriage is not an effortless thing, much less when adding in child rearing. Marriage can be nice and it can be awful and sometimes in the same day. Honestly its almost impossible for anyone outside of the relationship (friends with benefits is still a relationship) to say as we have no idea how you actually talked with her and what lead up to it. Obviously it sounds like a condom was not used so im not sure what you expected honestly. Maybe you were not as honest and forthright as you make it out to believe or maybe she was delusional or hoping for something that wasn't. Seriously though. condoms.

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• Nemo@slrpnk.net ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yes. It would be stupid. You can always get married later if you change your mind, but for now focus on supporting her through the pregnancy and prepping to be good parent to the kid and a good coparent to the girl.

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• classic@fedia.io ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Getting into marriage in this context seems like a recipe for creating financial and legal stresses for a future you if a divorce happens. The rules of engagement, so to speak, change once you get married and it can create a lot of misery that just co-habitating or co-parenting avoid. Divorce is a whole other level than breaking up.

  Also just because her parents are rich, doesn't mean they'll share it with you - or not use it as a way to control you

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• Nougat@fedia.io ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  No no and fucking no (pun intended).

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• unknown1234_5@kbin.earth ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  if you dont love her enough for marriage, dont get married. you didn't "take" anything as long as you didn't manipulate or coerce her. their religion is not your problem. that said, if the baby is yours you do have a responsibility to help raise and support the child.

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• birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Don’t recommend it, her parents are terrible.

  If they’d want you to marry her, they shouldn’t harass you in the first place. The girl has a possibility of abortion.

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• Cruxifux@feddit.nl ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I mean being forced into a marriage you don’t want to be in sucks.

  But as a 35 year old man, holy fuck do I ever wish I had married into money. It is really frustrating having to be the one in my family stressing about making a future for us with no hope of backup from any side. Win them over and get in that fucking will young man.

  But if you truly think you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life then marriage isn’t worth it.

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• IWW4@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yes of course.

  There is no way to get an abortion?

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• Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yes.

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• AmazingAwesomator@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  abortion. hopefully its not too late; get on that shit now

  her parents are not part of this decision, she is. you pay for as much of it as you can.

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• not_that_guy05@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  First of all it takes two to make a babe. Maybe they should be calling her the names as well. Second as a once teen father (kid at 19), don’t be forced to marriage. You are young and she is young, if you do not have feelings that makes you go like yeah she’s the one, them don’t be coursed into marriage. You will be hating your life and likely making it a toxic environment for the child.

  Remember now you just think not just about you but the child as well. I did not last a year with my baby mama and it was toxic as hell since we both didn’t have those feeling for each other.

  This also isn’t s reason to just say fuck it and leave and never see the kid again. I would highly recommend a lawyer and just do the paperwork now. People can be assholes and can make you look like an asshole in front of court.

  Lastly wear a fuckin condom kid. Now you have a responsibility for the next 18 years with a girl that might make your life a living hell.

  P.s. don’t ever put the blame on your child. Not their fault you couldn’t wrap your shit son.

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• Devadander@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Sounds like her parents are right. You have a responsibility, step up bro

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• MrNesser@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  So if you don’t love her don’t marry her .

  But you damn well better be a decent father to the kid.

  Also bear in mind your now paying child support

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• IcedRaktajino@startrek.website ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Sounds like her parents are trying to force you into a shotgun wedding.

  Ultimately, it’s up to you if you want to go into a marriage that is very much going to be unhappy. Personally, I’d just setup child support arrangements and discuss with her what role, if any, I would have in the child’s life.

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  • mrmarlborored@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    [deleted]

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    • someguy3@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You’re the only one that knows the relationship and 1) if you want it to work 2) if it will work.

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    • Eq0@literature.cafe ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Just to give a different perspective (while still agreeing with the other commenter): marriage can mean something different to each couple. Could the two of you consider an open marriage? A convenience marriage? A marriage where, practically, you sleep in different rooms? It could (maybe!) allow you to get the parents of your back, and could (maybe!) allow you to both be present for your kid. But rules need to be clear for both of you. How would it look like if one of you wanted to date outside the marriage?

      Keep into account the society you live in as well.

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    • IcedRaktajino@startrek.website ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I can’t speak for your situation, but I do know of too many examples of marriages “just because” that made both partners completely miserable for decades. And their disgust at each other definitely was not good for the kid to grow up around.

      If she’s someone you could see spending your life with, just not right now, then it’s worth considering. But either way, I would advise against agreeing to a shotgun wedding.

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