Dodged the maga family visitors on 4th July by happy accident, now trapped with them at wife's birthday celebration.

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨octopus_ink@slrpnk.net⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

cross-posted from: slrpnk.net/post/26499767

There is of course a “no politics” rule, which means they get to “accidentally” drop little comments then titter in apology, but no one gets to reply.

And the last thing I’m going to do is make a scene at my wife’s family’s house with my wife’s family on my wife’s birthday.

So here I sit, stewing, and I don’t even have access to anything intoxicating.

Please send a few hours of amnesia and something cold to drink. And earplugs? How about a national emergency requiring us to leave the premises?

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partial_accumen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I’m sorry to hear about your intestinal distress which will make you spend most of the visit in the bathroom with a quick in-person “goodbye” right before jumping in the car.

…or…

which means they get to “accidentally” drop little comments then titter in apology

When they do this just stare right at them, with a blank expression. Keep the stare for about 10 seconds until it starts to get uncomfortable for everyone, and then just say “hmm” while maintaining eye contact.

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- papalonian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  
  Keep the stare for about 10 seconds until it starts to get uncomfortable for everyone, and then just say “hmm” while maintaining eye contact.
  
  Pull out a little notebook and write some shit in it, put it back in your pocket, look back at them quickly then continue as if nothing happened.
  
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  - partial_accumen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    
    Pull out a little notebook and write some shit in it, put it back in your pocket, look back at them quickly then continue as if nothing happened.
    
    I like this! If they press you on an explanation for what you’re doing you could say “I have a bet going.” Glance down at the pad, perhaps flip a few pages, moving your pen like you’re counting, then say “It looks like I’m winning!” then smile.
    
    If you don’t mine starting a fight you could even go with “I’m playing MAGA bingo. You could really help me out if you say something predictiably shitty about immigrants or perhaps something laughable about ‘small government’”.
    
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  - crank0271@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Along with a polite, super quick (“did I imagine it?”) smile
    
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- octopus_ink@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  
  When they do this just stare right at them, with a blank expression. Keep the stare for about 10 seconds until it starts to get uncomfortable for everyone, and then just say “hmm” while maintaining eye contact.
  
  I kinda like this one I might try it! Though in this case I was granted a reprieve because they couldn’t stay as long as expected. 😁
  
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  - partial_accumen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    
    Though in this case I was granted a reprieve because they couldn’t stay as long as expected.
    
    There must have been some lower income children about to receive needed healthcare or perhaps a nutritious meal that your wife’s relatives had to prevent from happening.
    
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- sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Solid advice. Will apply myself.
  
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MycelialMass@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Just dont go, there some of my partners family I dont like and I just refuse to go to events theyre at.

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- thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  This is my thing too. I refuse to be around maga. I’ll tell them straight up too.
  
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ikidd@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Go for long walks.

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PancakesCantKillMe@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I would not be able to help myself at some point by dropping snide retorts to any of their comments. Fair is fair and fuck them. No scenes, just brief kicks to the shins. Figurativly speaking of course.

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- octopus_ink@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  It’s only respect for my wife that gives me the strength to hold it in. She’s not got a lot of family close by.
  
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  - PancakesCantKillMe@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Good man. I’ve done the same for mine.
    
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  - outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Sounds like she’d be better off with even less.
    
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  - callouscomic@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    I have zero of that family anymore. It was literally how they made my partner feel that made me snap. My partner is more important to me than their abuse and disrespect. It was merely nostalgia for some kind of Stockholm Syndrome anyways.
    
    There’s potentially a conversation that you both deserve better.
    
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Roflmasterbigpimp@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Call them out or leave. Nothing is worth torturing yourself. Perhaps your wife will be mad but trust me, it’s only worse in the short term and perhaps opens a way to dodge them all together.

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callouscomic@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
It was how my family treated my partner that finally helped me snap. No contact for a decade. Fuck those assholes. They never learn and have no respect to for others. I would hope a good partner would take notice of how their family is.

I don’t understand why people put up with shitty family amd pretend to have common values or interests. What a waste of your precious life.

In OPs case, I’d straight up tell them they know exactly what they’re doing, and if they were mature and respectful, they would stop.

If they don’t, fucking leave.

Best thing I ever learned from someone else:

Would I associate with these people if they weren’t blood?

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crank0271@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Wow, no intoxicants even? Sounds like hell on earth. Thoughts and prayers to you, sincerely.

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Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
i would give an excuse, after finishing the food, i have to leave for work, or wake up early the next day.

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- callouscomic@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Why do people need excuses? Why do people waste their lives lying? Just say it like it is:
  
  You know what you’re saying. You know what you’re doing. You can either be a mature and respectful adult, or we can leave.
  
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- VonReposti@feddit.dk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  My trick is to “accidentally” trade on-call weekends with a colleague and “oh no, I have to work. Again… Next time though!”
  
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