I have been through extremes with my body. I once restricted so much that I fell into anorexia, only to swing to the other end—bulimia. I forced myself to stop walking 20,000 steps a day and, a month ago, overcame bulimia. But now, I find myself struggling with binge eating and orthorexia, something I suspect has lingered beneath the surface for a while. I follow a strict vegan diet, eating only “clean” whole foods, yet my weight has fluctuated drastically over the past year. I dropped from 110 pounds to 90, only to climb to where I am now: around 145 pounds at 5’4. And I feel awful. I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself. My face feels fuller, my body softer, and I can’t help but long for the version of me with less belly and thigh fat. I avoid mirrors because I hate what I see. I wonder if losing weight would make me prettier, or if I’m just… ugly now? Girls in my class make fun of my appearance, and the boys dont really talk to me except a select few who call me annoying and point out random aspects of my appearance that make me feel insecure. I want brutal honesty. Should I lose weight? Would it change anything? Or am I just stuck feeling this way? (17f)
Are you as well a fan of the Dilbert TV series?
Zero22xx@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
Maybe you’re a bot, maybe not. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt here.
And my answer is no, absolutely not. You are in fact very pretty based on this one bad photo. And your face looks perfectly normal as far as proportions go.
School fucking sucks. And I’m willing to take a wild guess that your low self esteem already makes interacting with people difficult for you right from the start, before they’ve even said anything. So I’m willing to bet that at least 50% of your troubles here are your own thoughts bringing you down.
But as for the other 50%, you don’t need to please shitty, immature people. And don’t worry too much about the boys either. From stats I’ve seen, there’s a good chance they listen to people like Andrew Tate in their spare time. If you’re 17, sounds like you’re pretty close to finishing up with the place where you’re forced to be around people that you don’t vibe with.
Trust me, when school is over, that’s when you’ll get to meet your people, people that don’t make you feel like shit. And as far as relationships go, you’ll have a higher chance of meeting decent people that you actually want to be with. The only people that say school is the best years of your life are the people who peaked there. So hang in there.
RoseLentara@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Aw, thank you so much for this. I overthink a lot, and school doesn’t help, but it’s really nice to hear that things might improve. I appreciate you taking the time to say all this, it means a lot!☺️