Comment on Upon careful analysis of the top posts, I believe lemmy needs more unhinged text posts

cashews_best_nut@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

banter

It won’t work. I regularly post banter, irony, sarcasm. But it just gets taken too seriously. People accuse me of having an agenda or seriously believing some of the utterly outlandish things I say.

I’ll sa stupid shit like “the Java programming language causes cancer” and people will think I’m fucking SERIOUS?!

The other day I said the VERY obviously unserious: “Only bourgeois homosexuals and gentrified lesbians use Wayland”.

Bear in mind I’m gay and my that user account has a rainbow flag in it!

One lesbian found it funny and responded. It was mostly downvoted and it lasted 4hrs before getting deleted and my account banned.

I regularly make comments that are blindingly obvious sarcasm - they use utterly ridiculous sentences like the above about “gentrified lesbians”.

Everyone takes them seriously. There’s absolutely NO fucking humour allowed unless it follows a VERY stale Reddit-esque meme format that people are used to.

When someone said they tried meth once and hated it I replied “Skill issue”.

I was battered by downvotes.

Another example: I puffed on a strong vape for the first time one morning and made a WHIMSICAL post of: “WOW! How is nicotine legal!?” - cos it almost knocked me the fuck out. I wasn’t serious!

Dog-piled by people saying - “Yeah well alcohol is legal!” or “What’s your endgame here? What’s the agenda?!”. Or “If this is bait, then you’re pretending to be an idiot. If not, you’re an actual idiot.”

What’s with assuming the fucking worst of everyone’s posts?! What happened to “que sera sera”?

“Yes I’m bragging about fucking my body you well-oiled grape.” - -9 downvotes.

“WELL OILED GRAPE!!!” Oh of course I must have absolutely meant that fuckign classic burn. I don’t even WTF it would mean if taken seriously.

“But if I dropped you in the Pacific ocean you wouldn’t live long.” to a “Hydro Homie” espousing the virtues of water. -8 downvotes (fucking sarcasm!)

“The weight of my intellect is a heavy burden to bear.” - Obvious fucking sarcasm -8 downvotes

“Java devs are the reason humanity will never have FTL drives.” - -3 downvotes. Java devs really have NO sense of fucking humour.

I refuse on principal to add the brain-dead “/s” bollocks for obvious sarcasm. It’s not my problem the world is wet lipped and loose knickered.

The entire fediverse is filled with humourless, miserable, cynical wishy-washy cunts who dont’ spot sarcasm irony or anything unless it’s written in BIG FUCKING CAPITALS.

THIS IS A FUNNY - DONT TAKE SERIOUSLY

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