Good to know that straight men do this too, cause this is an absolutely classic lesbian scenario.
I was visiting a friend who I had a crush on some many years ago and late at night she came into the guest room I was sleeping in, slid under my blanket, took my hand and placed it on her naked chest. I though “boob! 😃” and went back to sleep.
It took me years to understand she wanted to tell me something.
I mean you still touched a boob which is nice
Yes, but maybe it could have developed into a several times boob touching relationship, which would have been a multitude nicer.
Hmm, yes. I think we’ve covered all the facts here XD
Oh my that’s a good one!
This was in the early 2000s and I still cringe today 😑
I was just clueless as fuck. I’ve got the sun total of zero game when it comes to dating, not that it matters now I’ve settled down.
I did learn my lesson though. Met a girl who was absolutely stunning, like cover girl model looks, and she was lovely. Asked her out on a date expecting to be shot down, and she said yes. At that point I was like a dog that had chased a car and caught up with it, I didn’t know what the fuck to do.
Anyway, we went out a couple of times - nice restaurant, bowling, the cinema… had a great time with her but it wasn’t really moving forward and just kinda started to fizzle out, which was no big deal.
One evening she phones me, saying she was at a house party two or three towns over, and was getting bored - and asked me to take her home. No worries there, I wasn’t doing anything, so I drove over to get here and she hopped in, a bit worse for wear after a glass or twelve of wine but not absolutely munted.
Halfway down, she’s like “actually, can we go back to yours? I don’t really want to get in and my parents see me like this”. Not a problemo, took her back to mine, got her a coffee and sat and chatted. She came through to my room when I was getting changed and crashed out on the bed beside me, faced me, and said “maybe I’ll sleep here tonight?”
I’d learned my lesson, I could see that she wanted all two inches of this rage and disappointment. So I said “sure, no problem, I’ll sleep on the sofa”.
I drove her home the following morning and she never said a word. I desperately wished I could have taken that opportunity, but the whole consent thing after her sesh at the party made it a little bit dicey. I never did get another opportunity. She was absolutely lovely though and I hope she found a guy that made her happy. 😊
I understand not wanting to be used on tap like that.
Like, “hey I’m over my depth here and I trust you” is very different from “I’m bored I bet I could lay that guy”, which is more what it sounds like.
Sounds like it’s just a people thing
Goodlucksil@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
This is absolutely a “women work in mysterious ways” scenario.
eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 days ago
So, it makes a ton more sense once you’ve been the person trying to get somebody to take the lead in an intimate physical encounter.
A big part of the dynamic there is that as the person who wants to concede the initiative, you want to make sure that the other person is really actually committed to the thing you’re thinking about. Getting kissed by someone who’s thinking about smash bros isn’t fun.
You know how there’s a trope where it’s satisfying for a beloved to be able to wipe their lover’s mind of anything else by looking them in the eyes a certain way? That sense of being desired in a compelling way is really important for a lot of people.
So, when somebody makes a gesture like that, it’s intended to hit different depending on where you are chemically. If you had been completely beguiled at that point, you probably would have goggled and stammered like Don Knotts and she would have said something like “come here, sit down”.
And we all know that some people trying to get off will absolutely fake that level of interest. I think it might make sense for people looking for a longer term connection to find themselves doing this, cause one of the fastest ways to fall in love is to have emotionally connected sex.
I was once at a woman’s place and we had talked for a while and ended up on her bed with her in underwear and a bra, lying with her head on my arm and her hand on my chest, she says “I’m horny” and I think “oh whoops I better head out so she can get herself off” and LEFT.
Useless lesbian, right? But also, maybe it’s better that the two of us didn’t have sex, because I didn’t really feel compelled to, she wouldn’t have wanted to unless I had felt that way, and now we can see each other around and we might feel a little awkward around each other but we didn’t get into a mismatched situation in terms of investment that night (I think?).
I’ve been in other similar situations where I didn’t particularly care what the other person’s emotional state was and just asked them to do what I wanted done to me.
This is all subconscious in nearly all cases imo, I’ve just been doing this a long time.
TheJesusaurus@piefed.ca 2 days ago
I forgot you were a lesbian twice while reading this Lol. Can relate. - a dude