Gay dude here, it seems to be. We have the loneliness epidemic here too, but we’re actually organizing and fighting it, because we’re used to do that. Our cishet counterparts are definitely not equipped to do that. Women are socalized much earlier than boys, and they’re taught that the social order is theirs for keeping. Girls are simply raised to be better at this. By the time men realize what’s happened with the natural funneling of friends through the parenting years - usually those late 20s and early 30s where it suddenly starts to become really difficult to overcome the friendship hump.
I can’t comment on the whole incels taking hold of this concept, because it’s something I’ve just had explained to me in the past week. I can definitely see the gender/sexuality lines on this in real life tho (I started and run a nonprofit to create community for GBT+ men in my state).
sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I do think it’s fair to describe it as a men’s issue. Because its usually describing loneliness caused by a disconnect with the image of masculinity you’ve been taught, and that which you actually exhibit. Everyone struggles with loneliness, but this is a specific kind of loneliness that is worth discussing in isolation.
My main issue with it is how a lot of men seem to think its referring to women not wanting them. It’s a very easy term to feed their persecution complex.
Mighty@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Ah that last part makes sense as a criticism. Yes, I guess incels have taken this term to defend their sexism
zeropointone@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I disagree with the sentiment that it can’t be a useful term simply because you haven’t found a peer reviewed study describing the phenomenon. I would like to see more research be done, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m seeing the issue directly in front of my eyes.
Aeao@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I think it’s important to note the incels often mean “the women I think are hot won’t fuck me”
They could find a girlfriend if they improved their personality or lowered their standards but they don’t want to do that.
zeropointone@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Aeao@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’m a recovering drug addict. Nobody wanted to help me, rejected by everyone who wasn’t a recovering drug addict.
I got out of the loop.
al_Kaholic@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
Do you think it’s because the are conditioned from birth that being married, or having many successful relationships with woman will make them wealthy and happy?
BussyCat@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Can you describe what you mean by “disconnect with the image of masculinity you’ve been taught”
That is a very interesting statement but does not align with how it’s been described to me which is men can’t get laid and are horny and give up on women and just watch porn