Comment on bisexual

• Gorilladrums@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I mean it’s obviously different from person to person, but the gay people I’ve met, especially lesbians, have a genuine irrational fear and hatred of bi people. They’re terrified that bi people will cheat on them or will leave them for straight people. They see them as straight people who are pretending to be gay rather than actually being bi.

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  • theangryseal@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Wellll, my wife is bi. I have a constant (not really constant, just when my insecurity is dragged out by a nightmare or something) nagging fear that she’ll leave me for a woman one day. (I’m a man).

    Maybe it’s just an extra layer because it potentially opens more doors.

    You know how some things people say just echo in your head forever? You hear a thousand points from a thousand people and most of it just goes in one ear and out the other, but something sticks for some reason or other and it just echoes in your brain.

    An idiot, misogynist, redneck said to me, “once ‘ey get uh little pussy it’s a matter uh time. They want it like anybody who wants it, and they won’t go without it forever.”

    When I’m feeling particularly insecure, that dumb shit just shows up in my brain.

    I’m aware that I’m being stupid. I don’t express this to my wife because I’m being stupid and I know it.

    Well, overly stupid people scream their insecurities out loud constantly.

    I’ve met some really, really stupid gay people. They’re people like anyone else, of course.

    The truth is, if I were to hand myself over to my sexuality entirely, I’d be fucking as many people as I could as often as possible. My sexuality isn’t all I am. It’s a small part of who I am. I just have to trust that my wife is as serious about us as I am. She hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her.

    I guess my point is, idiot+insecure=bigotry.

    If my wife ever leaves me for a woman, I won’t let it verify my insecurity. She could just as easily leave me for a man. No point in letting my insecurities make me a bigot. Gay people aren’t immune to bigotry.

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    • bobo1900@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You said wise things, but I suggest considering expressing your wife these insecurities. Maybe that will help you come to terms with them and you can find some strategies so she can effectively reassure you.

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    • blackstampede@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I have very rarely had a bad outcome from speaking honestly and straightforwardly to people that I care about.

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      • theangryseal@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I agree with you, but silly baseless insecurities being expressed all the tone just hurts the people around you for nothing.

        I expressed it once early in our relationship and there’s no reason to express it again. I’m stupid for feeling the way I do and I should carry that stupidity quietly.

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      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I grew up in a cult. After I got out, my experience generally mirrors yours but damn I have some family members.

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  • CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    At least anecdotally, I’ve seen it happen multiple times. There’s this subset in the dating pool who want to give meeting with other women a try.

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• drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  From my experience its a little different for women.

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