Comment on sus
xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks agoif only SDI’s weren’t a thing, polycules would be great….
but, i’d rather be single than have to deal with pustules on my genitals for life….
….
i bet they’d all be cured by now if idiots didn’t see it as some divine retribution….
You know we can test for those things now, right? As long as everyone remains faithful to their partners its not an issue.
If 300 people all get tested and are clean, they can all get together every night for a massive orgy and there is zero STI risk. As long as none of them sleep with anyone outside of the group that hasn’t been tested.
you can’t just test for these things without symptoms.
most of these diseases have dormant phases and active phases… like a cold sore….
I don’t know how healthcare works where you live, but here you can. Its free, no questions asked. Get the results a couple of weeks later.
they don’t test for every single disease… it’s not where i live, it’s medical technology….
show me a screening test that tests for every single SDI or STFU….
repeating yourself is pointless. gimme proof or i do not care about the words you’re typing on here.
show me… any country, any price, show me your comprehensive, 100% accurate screening of every possible STI… or even something close to that… i’ll hold my breath.
Must be nice in that small section of western Europe. For the rest of us things are not so blissful.
Er? You absolutely can do an STI screen without symptoms. Some of the most common STIs don’t even usually have symptoms.
I am unsure if that is completely true as my past experience in the lifestyle was that everyone was very on top of regular STD (think you meant this not SDI) testing and safe sex practices to protect all involved, whereas normal dating there is a lot less of that plus secret polycules you are not even aware you are in (cheating). Not seen a study on this but this was my observation at least.
Yeah my fluid bonded girlfriend had a condom break with her other boyfriend. So she just told me and we switched to condoms until she could get retested. No big deal.
If we hadn’t been poly it would either have been a I cheated on you conversation or worse she exposed my to possible STD without my consent.
STI… but the problems with people cheating are present in polycules or any other relationship…
people lie and cheat….
i’m not saying they’re completely bad and nobody should ever do it (sorry downvoters, you have my blessings), it’s just the kind of thing that concerns me in these scenarios….
afaik, people tend to do things like get herpes, not tell anyone, and tell people it’s not even worth tripping over… just a lil herpes…
and as long as your polycule isn’t a closed loop, it’s essentially infinitely large….
Personally I would never be in a relationship with someone who would do that but i am pretty picky with very firm boundaries.
people i wouldn’t think would do such things end up surprising me
STI you are correct. I realized this earlier when I was reading reading. I will fix.
STD isn’t wrong, it’s just an older term…
STIs are all curable, treatable, or preventable
Herpes can be spread, even with condoms. Often asymptomatic, also so common/with a test that is also so prone to false positives that they don’t test for it in most panels.
PREP, PEP, and doxyPREP are great things. There should also be no stigma around STI’s - a large chunk of adults get one at some point in their lives. Trich or HPV I think the vast majority of people don’t even know.
The big thing is that everyone should be an adult and open/honest about their risks and tolerances. The more partners you have, the more likely a condom is to break or something is to go wrong. There’s a balance in all things.
that’s a much more reasonable way of putting it that i did, yes, thank you
As someone in a polycule, that could very soon not be true.
that is grossly oversimplifying things
would you like to elaborate?
because
Watch out for those sexually dransmitted illnesses
Don’t be a grammar Elon
people really hate typos
Gurei@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Yeah, anyone practicing safely can avoid that issue.
WhiteRabbit_33@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yep, this is exactly it. Practice safe sex, get on PrEP for HIV prevention, talk about testing and status with any potential sexual partners in or out of the polycule, and get tested every 3-6 months.
Hugin@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah. My polycule is small but my friend is in a big multinational one. They have a google doc spreadsheet with STD results and sexual relationship tracking (fluid bonded, barriers, etc).
BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
Poly culture is a shared google doc and calendar for planning time with partners.
Gurei@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Yup! And if that’s too much of an ask, interrelationship dynamics are probably too much of a ask as well!
xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
yes because you can absolutely trust and guarantee safety amongst everyone in your polycule, and because you can totally be safe from STI’s that are transmitted by skin contact….
you can be safer, but not safe
YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah it’s better to just be alone forever. Isolation smisolation
xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
nothing is completely safe… walking down the street isn’t completely safe….
acknowledging risks isn’t the same as saying don’t take any risks….
chump.
Hupf@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
Trust isn’t a numbers thing.
WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Trust isn’t the issue. Probability is. Even without deception, there’s a chance someone can have an STD without knowing it. And there’s a chance that std won’t show up on testing due to incubation times, dormancy phases, and false negatives.
Imagine there is a 1% chance of your partner having an STD without knowing it. 1% doesn’t sound too bad an odds. But if you have 50 partners in an extended polycule, then the chance that at least one of them unknowingly has one is 1-(.99)^50, or 39%. Probabilities compound.
xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
i’ve been lied to by people i trusted many times… but i hope your ability to determine trustworthiness is perfect. mine is not.