orgrinrt

@orgrinrt@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why dont more people live in smaller communities , appart from economic opportunity (WFH is making it possible if not prefferable too)⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Well, I lived in such conditions most of my adulthood before having a kid to care for, and it was possible precisely because it was just me. Either it was a small town not even close to a big city, or it was a small town at the outskirts of a big city, some 20-30km away. I loved it. Still do.

  But it’s so hard to uproot once you have all the other stuff like not only your own job, but also your partner’s. And kid’s school or daycare or whatever. And then having to work out the bus routes for the small humans and figure whether or not it’d be plausible for them to adjust to that and not get burned out or lost or confused or whatever.

  And once you need more space, it’s much harder to find places to rent in the small towns. Mostly for sale, if it’s beyond two bedrooms. And in that case it’s much more complicated since you need to go to the effort of getting the place evaluated, arranging the loans and finances so you can pull it off, and that’s a big decision since it’ll probably lock you in there for quite some while, because small towns don’t move houses fast if you decide to go, so you could be looking at years before you get the sale done and another mortgage.

  It’s just so hard. Once you are in the city, it’s hard to leave. And the more you root in the city, the harder it gets.

  I hate it. I hate the city. I hate most about it.

  But I love my family and would suffer in a city until my death if that’s what it takes to keep it together.

  But as a positive anecdote, in my life prior to rooting down, as a younger and more adventurous human, I found that maintaining a community and a good group of friends even somewhat far away from the rest of them is easy and most importantly, comes easy. Its natural. I never found community a problem, because I always had a few groups of friends and it was always enough for us to touch ground together only monthly or every other month, so our location wasn’t really a concern. Most of us lived apart anyway. And the actual day-to-day sense of community came from work or uni or that kind of thing. I was never alone, though I lived blissfully far from most everyone.

  So the only thing that really makes it difficult is trying to find a way and a good timing for not only one, but three+ people to move at once with all of them being happy with it. That’s a puzzle I’ve found near impossible to crack.

  If we had a lot of money saved or good enough jobs to get a nest egg going, the problems likely wouldn’t matter and could very easily be worked around. But alas, we are just lower middle class, and while we are well enough off, moving is a completely life changing and paradigm shifting thing. It’s not something to choose lightly.

  Maybe that plays a part within your group of acquaintances too? My work is even WFM and my partner could likely commute easily from most of the options we have within 100km. So technically we have a lot going for it. Should be easier.

  But it’s not. Life is complex.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Sergey Brin: We need you working 60 hours a week so we can replace you as soon as possible⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That’d be perfect.

  I can’t believe how hard it is to find people willing, even on a completely theoretical level, to live in a little bit more closer knit community with some shared facilities and land for common goods. Even if I say it need not be the cliche hippie commune, it can just be people living co-operatively and having just a bit more together time, simultaneously even saving some money and resources, by having shared facilities and lands. Most recognize just one thing about it. Energy and water treatment self-sufficiency seems to interest people, but not enough for them to even consider a shared community “hall” with a kitchen and room for everyone to eat, so that a every single house need not have a full, everything included kitchen. Same for bath and toilet stuff. And electricity utility rooms. Or anything, really, that isn’t your own personal and private as usual living quarters with the basic facilities so you don’t need to be social every time you need to pee or have a breakfast.

  I recognize this is practically just an apartment building, but in a horizontally laid out format, I guess, with some space between the apartments for personal space even outside, and some extra niceties like an all-inclusive kitchen with a full set of tools and facilities to cook practically anything, without everyone having to buy all of that individually and also with a fraction of the cost for being shared between all. And some crops for a bit more self-sufficiency, same for electricity and water facilities.

  People are fine with large apartment buildings where you can practically always hear your neighbors and have some minor shared stuff like saunas and very basic recreative rooms and the usual utilities like electricity and water and yard maintenance handled by someone else.

  I feel like a close knit community — with shared spaces for stuff you don’t need 24/7 but rather only occasionally and in limited periods each day, and increased self-reliance and independence and more national-catastrophe-resistant facilities, with the understanding that some of the lots are saved for specific professionals like an electrician, farmer, animal handler, plumber, etc and require minor extra investment, shared between all, to pay for them handling the day-to-day — would win in almost all fronts against an apartment building, except maybe in that it would have to be a little more remote in location because extra land needs and need for appropriate soil for crops etc. But a commune like that could easily just have a shuttle or two and arrange co-rides even each day to the nearest town or city. Could even save on personal cars by having that.

  I don’t know, I’m rambling now.

  I get frustrated because I’m probably not seeing the value other see in living alone, separate from others living alone all around you. Or the proximity to more densely populated areas maybe? Or whatever it is that makes people not even consider a community such as the one described. There must be a lot of things I’m not seeing that normal people see, and it makes me so anxious that I can’t see them. But then again I’m not neurotypical. Not the first area of interest I seldom get to share with someone, anyone.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I wonder what my wife thinks when the shampoo bottle starts dispensing again after I put a little water in it.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh wow. This is in the same vein as someone secretly spitting in your food. A more appropriate equivalent is continuing your beer with water. Why ruin a thing someone uses and expects to be normal? Maybe they don’t notice it now, but maybe they’ll have to switch (needlessly!) brands thinking it got worse or just simply doesn’t work, and it’s a whole process trying out what works for your hair.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gmail alternative: good idea to use personal domain+hosting?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  If you mean self-hosting email, then good luck.

  It’s a lottery with the IP and even the IP space you get, whether anyone will actually receive your emails.

  I hosted my own for a few years, but god fed up telling everyone to dig through their junk folder for my emails, and not being responded to very often, probably because of just that.

  Maybe some providers have it better, but I tried a few and each was just not good. I really think Microsoft, Amazon, Google and other big players have intentionally separated the good, trusted IPs, ones they use for email services specifically, and made the other worse

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do we know this is actually Earth, and not just some torture chamber in Hell and we are just being punished?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Big +1 here!

  Everything being inherently meaningless doesn’t mean we can’t just imagine and make up those ourselves! The universe doesn’t care, but you can choose to! 🕺✨

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do we know this is actually Earth, and not just some torture chamber in Hell and we are just being punished?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  But you can do your darnest. Drown all that existential dread and other stuff in either of these:

  • Stuff. Just things to do. Start hobbies and projects and get carried away enough to forget these, at least momentarily
  • Drugs! Alcohol included. It’s not healthy but you can choose to. You’ll probably forget a lot about all this, if you indulge enough. Not a recommendation, just noting this is something you can already choose to do, and for most with access to internet and lenny, probably readily available

  Have fun!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do we know this is actually Earth, and not just some torture chamber in Hell and we are just being punished?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  This is probably just to point out the bias in the original question and our incapability to actually answer it or similar questions, but I actually think this is probably the one thing that separates hell and paradise here on earth.

  Well, not the only thing, but once all the basic needs are covered, most of how this feels, probably comes from what you focus on. Intentionally or not. We’re not very in control of our focus or our minds, after all.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do we know this is actually Earth, and not just some torture chamber in Hell and we are just being punished?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Personally, I think it’s because life is beautiful, the world is beautiful, people are for the most part beautiful. In a hell, I don’t think we should have so much beauty and majority of our time spent in awe of this all, enjoying our time, the nature and each other.

  I think this might very well be a hell, though, if one focuses on the bad stuff. Which is way too easy these days with our phones and constant cycle of news and updates and whatnot.

  But to be a hell, overall, I would think there wouldn’t be so much niceness, so much endearing stuff, so much love and joy. I know not everyone gets nearly enough of those, but there are people, like me, who are just way too lucky I guess, or maybe it’s a little bit about attitude or perspective gained by having been at the lowest lows, but also able to escape those pits of suicidal despair. And, again, in a hell, I can’t imagine they’d let you escape and lead a joyous, happy life, in a beautiful, breathtaking world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The one change that worked: I set my phone to ‘do not disturb’ three years ago – and have never looked back⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I use signal too, exclusively apart from sms or the rare iMessage my grandparents send. It’s been fine. I can’t recall if it was app setting or it just works™, but I get no sounds, and still get notifications so I can check them when I have the time and energy to deal with all that.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The one change that worked: I set my phone to ‘do not disturb’ three years ago – and have never looked back⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah same here, and I haven’t missed it a bit. As a downside, I constantly misplace the thing and have to search for it when I hear the specific rhythmic vibration somewhere. If anyone had something extremely urgent, they’ll be able to call my partner or neighbor or something. And I do check the notifications daily, too, so Im never completely out of the loop.

  I’ve noticed, also, that I’m much better at actually answering the phone or answering messages. Former since I so seldomly get any noticeable feedback from the phone, so it feels fine to grab it and answer if it rings and I happen to notice it. The messages, because I read them when I have time, so then I also have time to answer. I used to get messages and read them and I’d be in middle of something, so I’d just think to myself “I’ll reply later”, and I very rarely remembered and actually did.

  It feels counterintuitive, but I’m not complaining. Life is much more peaceful. I get all the busy notifications and contacts and news and all that on my own terms, when I’m ready, and it feels great not to be disturbed while I’m working or cooking or whatever.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How important is flirting within the dating scene?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Just an anecdote, but I don’t think flirting is a specific thing to do per se, so feel it’s more just being honest to yourself and the other and letting it come out, I.e you shouldn’t think specifically about flirting, just say the things out loud you notice in the other or feel inside. Like tell them they look beautiful if they do. You create unneeded pressure when you think it as an explicit thing to do and master, when really, it’s messaging out loud your vulnerable observations and feelings we generally hold inside.

  You feel bubbly inside with them? I would just go ahead and say that exactly as-is, without trying to be explicitly flirty or somehow “traditional” or beholden to the norms of what we’ve been taught flirting is.

  Bubbly inside is fine if that’s what you feel. Their hair has amazing golden hues in the sun? Just say it if it feels right. You want to spend more time with them? That’s flirting, too, if you just say it out loud.

  It’s vulnerable and scary, but it’s not hard or really even a bespoke thing to do. It’s letting yourself be vulnerable and open to hurt by voicing your thoughts, feelings and desires.

  It can be fun too, since if the other is also struggling with knowing when it’s fine to voice things like that, you doing it signals it’s fine and you get all the warmth and love and voiced validation for yourself too. You get to hear how they perceive you, what is beautiful or exciting in you, you lower the barrier of just hooking up if it feels right for both, forming thoughts and feelings into words just starts coming more natural and it’s always just fun and exciting and validating, as well as all the other lovely things.

  So what I’m trying to say is don’t think about flirting as a thing, just start saying shit out loud when you feel said shit. You like the way they look? Just start voicing it out loud, and it just flows naturally from there if the excitement is mutual.

  Much less intimidating if you stop thinking about it and stressing about the concept of flirting as you’ve perceived it from media and such. It’s natural, comes readily for all, when the situation is right. All it takes is daring to take the jump, which is really the only serious blocker, being brave enough to be vulnerable. If you make flirting as a concept a blocker and a source of anxiousness too, you’ll have double the amount of anxiousness and blockers.

  Best try and consciously just say things out loud instead. Half the stress and sweat, 100% of the reward ✨

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I feel my life is empty. Is there any way to stop this?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s like I don’t give a crap about anything or anyone and don’t see what’s the point of living.

  Well, there you go. This is most likely the culprit, and it is something one can train. If caring does not come readily, you’ll have to train it, just like reading, writing and other human skills.

  Good luck.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Do snakes prefer to drink warm or cool water?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Same, but it’s a fun bonus, it’s also the constant source of my many anxieties

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A woman made her AI voice clone say “arse.” Then she got banned.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Okay, consider my interest entirely piqued. How does it feel watching something like that? You seem like the kind of guy to go have a beer with. That’s a total mad lad move, I would watch something like that in a heartbeat, drop work and all, just go enjoy this absurd result of a gem the universe has bestowed upon us. Even better if it was me in there, but I kind of need to see Empire Strikes back but everyone’s the same guy who sounds the same

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gulf of Make a Report to Apple⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  To be fair, the entire history of humanity is full of exactly that. These are mostly just aimed at and recognized by the US. Same as Russia currently renaming occupied villages. Nobody else recognizes those, it’s just not that special or important at this point, with all of the other shit going on.

  Ultimately, the names of places change. All the time. And will continue to change. It’s just what we do as humans. Somebody uses force and swings their dick around and locally others have to either swallow or punch the fucker. Elsewhere people fight similar fights and care very little about the other dickswingers far away.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Taliban bars Afghan women from hearing each other's voices in new edict⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Can you honestly claim not to have recognized the long, ongoing conservative Christian effort to reach a similar state?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Linus Torvalds reckons AI is ‘90% marketing and 10% reality’⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  In addition, there have been these studies released (not so sure how well established, so take this with a grain of salt) lately, indicating a correlation with increased perceived efficiency/productivity, but also a strongly linked decrease in actual efficiency/productivity, when using LLMs for dev work.

  After some initial excitement, I’ve dialed back using them to zero, and my contributions have been on the increase. I think it just feels good to spitball, which translates to heightened sense of excitement while working. But it’s really just much faster and convenient to do the boring stuff with snippets and templates etc, if not as exciting. We’ve been doing pair programming lately with humans, and while that’s slower and less efficient too, seems to contribute towards rise in quality and less problems in code review later, while also providing the spitballing side. In a much better format, I think, too, though I guess that’s subjective.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, though. You can assume them stupid, but nobody would use these forms of media if they viewed them the same. It’s just world moving on and leaving us greybeards behind, muttering about how stupid the new things are. Like the generation of our parents did for our interests, and theirs before them, and theirs before them, and so on.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tesla, Warner Bros sued for using AI ripoff of iconic Blade Runner imagery, despite the producers having previously rejected any association between their iconic sci-fi movie and Musk or his companies⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Was replying more in the general, not specifically to you, but yeah. I’m a musician too myself, and have a wide range of other creatives in my inner circle, and this whole copyright topic is extremely hard. But I think we mostly can ignore that aspect when we consider the moral side as-is. A lot less complicated that way. Again, more in the general sense for all the comments in this post, sorry to drop it all here.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tesla, Warner Bros sued for using AI ripoff of iconic Blade Runner imagery, despite the producers having previously rejected any association between their iconic sci-fi movie and Musk or his companies⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s one thing to just do a similar melody by accident, and entirely another to ask the artist if you could use the melody, get explicitly denied, then go on and use that melody anyway, changing a single less relevant note in there.

  I think everyone gets this distinction innately, we just get caught up in the copyright law aspect of this, which I’m not claiming isn’t relevant. It’s just Musk being a clear scumbag, whichever way you lean on the lawfulness side of it.