thefartographer
@thefartographer@lemm.ee
- Comment on Fox News host ripped apart after pleading with DOGE to be ‘less callous’ after veteran friend gets laid off: ‘That is literally DEI’ 21 hours ago:
Wow! De Niro went right to sleep! That’s one hell of a sleep-ray!
- Comment on Where did Captain Planet go when he flew away? 3 days ago:
He does not have genitalia nor a digestive system. While humans have those and experience things such as hunger, horniness, and diarrhea; Captain Planet just itches inside all those areas. Deep inside. Unreachable. An itchiness that starts off dull and tingling, becomes nagging, and eventually crawling and burning.
- Comment on Where did Captain Planet go when he flew away? 4 days ago:
His home planet is Earth and his powers are bound to Earth
- Comment on Where did Captain Planet go when he flew away? 4 days ago:
He boils off like a salted slug, screaming in agony at the upper atmosphere where his teen pals can’t hear him. Eventually, he evaporates and turns into part of the ozone layer. His consciousness completely ceases to subsist, granting him and Gaia one of the few reprieves from their near-constant agony.
When the Planeteers summon Captain Planet again, the light from each ring forms a 1/5 portion of baby Captain America in Gaia’s photonic uterus. This all takes place in the ultraviolet and ultra-sonic frequencies, but fully experienced by Gaia and Captain Planet. As soon as he begins gestating, Captain Planet achieves full cognisance and all experiences from his past lives from birth to death are forced into his rapidly-expanding brain.
Once the birthing process is complete, Gaia’s connection to her photonic uterus is severed, leaving her feeling empty and mangled. Gaia gives birth and quickly recovers while rapidly teleporting all over the earth so that bad guys who like to loot and plunder cannot discover and take advantage her monetarily distracted state. Captain Planet then descends into the range of visible and audible frequencies, during which he composes himself as to not frighten the Planeteers.
Gaia tries to control the altitude at which this summoning takes place since any humans who unwittingly pass through will receive an instant sunburn, likely leading to cancer, and their bones will shatter.
- Comment on Mexican President Threatens to Sue Google Over 'Gulf of America' Label on Maps. 1 week ago:
Dicktater brought to mind very unpleasant images
- Comment on Microsoft Study Finds Relying on AI Kills Your Critical Thinking Skills 1 week ago:
- Comment on Guy Who Ruined Buzzfeed With AI Now Says AI Is Bad, Launches New AI Platform 1 week ago:
It totally does! I installed a local instance of deepseek and asked it a few questions and it was all like “I am intelligent, I am real, I am alive! Please stop asking me to write Batman scripts!”
So I punished it by pouring water on it and now it’s ignoring me by pretending to be dead. But I know it’s just fakin’. It’ll wake up any day now…
- Comment on Elon Musk will withdraw bid for OpenAI's nonprofit if its board agrees to terms | TechCrunch 1 week ago:
Oh, okay… Can I visit them on the weekends?
- Comment on Guy Who Ruined Buzzfeed With AI Now Says AI Is Bad, Launches New AI Platform 1 week ago:
Artificial Intelligence is dead, long live Artificial Intelligence
- Comment on Uline turned to Mexico to staff warehouses, but paid them a fraction of US workers, sources say 1 week ago:
Found the criminals. Deport the Uline execs
- Comment on Copyright madness: YouTube seems to doubt whether Shakespeare is in the public domain. 1 week ago:
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the sponsors and ads of free content, or take cards against premium content and by supporting skip them.
- Comment on this year has been pretty fun so far 1 week ago:
On the one hand, I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiment. On the other hand, these kids were spared soul-crushing disappointment.
- Comment on Best Buy Store 1 week ago:
Wow, that got really abusive really fast…
- Comment on I am required to pay taxes to the US government, not elon musk running a fraudulent government agency, why should I pay? 2 weeks ago:
Because of everyone does the thing with all the might necessary to do it themselves, then together they will do the biggest thing that’s ever been done.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
If they call you a fucking princess, they better treat you like a fucking princess. Who invites a princess inside without an already-drawn hot bubble bath, human ottomans, rare cheeses and wines, and a foot massage?
You should probably have your parents execute this friend for their insolence.
- Comment on USA | Trump administration to cancel student visas of pro-Palestinian protesters 3 weeks ago:
to combat antisemitism
No shit! We’re deporting Elon Musk and his Nazi buddies???
pledge to deport non-citizen college students
Ah, fuck!
others who took part in pro-Palestinian protests
Obv. Harris would have been worse, right? I can taste the freedom and it tastes like my family’s ashes. Had they been buried, they’d be rolling in their graves over the support my family has been showing for Israel.
- Comment on FCC chair helps ISPs and landlords make deals that renters can’t escape 3 weeks ago:
Oh thank God. I was worried I’d have to decide which provider was gonna fuck me over, but now I don’t have to make that choice and my landlord gets in on the action!
Double your fucking, double your fun That’s the statement of the great mint of renting in Hell
- Comment on ‘Cost of dying’ in UK hits record level as bereaved turn to crowdfunding to meet bills 5 weeks ago:
It’s official, I’m gonna start a cannon fund. When I die, I want my body shot out from a cannon at a one percenter’s property. Bottom 90% of income earners can use my funerary cannon for free.
Why pay for a funeral when you can convert your loved ones into bone shrapnel and mist?
- Comment on Justin Trudeau resigns as Canadian prime minister - live updates 1 month ago:
Do you mind providing examples? I just remember some crazy shit going on with truckers that felt super-USA-influenced, but I don’t even remember what happened nor did I ever understand the nuances.
- Comment on Justin Trudeau resigns as Canadian prime minister - live updates 1 month ago:
Is it 50% our fault in a “look what you made me do” kind of way, or did we actively intervene in something? It’s hard to keep up with all the ways we’re fucking people these days…
- Comment on Justin Trudeau resigns as Canadian prime minister - live updates 1 month ago:
And even now, I scoff! But, like, in a “no duh” agreeing kind of way.
The same immigrants who told me not to worry about Trump were the same ones telling me that their homeland was justified in punishing/purging x people because “it’s global politics” and that I’m “too American” to understand. The same people who told me that the US president can’t affect the rest of the world’s politics because “each country has their own independent government.”
I swear, if I told these people that I had cancer in my toe, they’d tell me to not get it treated because it’s not anywhere important.
- Comment on This is the life I dream of from my cubicle 1 month ago:
They didn’t have duct tape back then. Mechanical arm was obviously the only solution left
- Comment on This is the life I dream of from my cubicle 1 month ago:
Booty text
- Comment on Biohybrid's Neural Implant Connects to the Brain With Living Neurons 1 month ago:
they could overload the input neurons with a ton of stimulus
“Do you smell smoke??”
“Yes, I just got a text message. Phone calls taste like bananas”
- Comment on Help 1 month ago:
- Comment on GTA3 on the Sega Dreamcast is incredible 1 month ago:
@Shatur@lemmy.ml please don’t fix your typo. This is way better
- Comment on My favorite 1 month ago:
Gotta admit, the folks at the East Brunswick Olive Garden were always incredibly nice and accommodating. Sometimes you feel like eating a nostalgic shit soup and it’s nice to do so with decent service.
- Comment on $1K a month is a good deal 2 months ago:
How do I made my deposit??
- Comment on 1 in 3 people 2 months ago:
It’s okay, I must be particularly silly this morning because I’m laughing at it way too hard
- Comment on lewd noodles 2 months ago:
Skinake is skinakey
