thefartographer
@thefartographer@lemm.ee
- Comment on Every time I get an email about 1 week ago:
While enjoying your cookies
- Comment on Every time I get an email about 1 week ago:
And how much poop I get on my hands with my clumsy wipe
- Comment on Prime Video subs will soon see ads for Amazon products when they hit pause 1 week ago:
And become a pirate!
- Comment on Here is what 6 decommissioned servers looks like. My Jellyfin will be very happy 1 week ago:
That’s the moment where the fighters and the crowd attack and eat the announcer
- Comment on Here is what 6 decommissioned servers looks like. My Jellyfin will be very happy 1 week ago:
“Ugh, now they’re both crying…” Covers microphone “Someone hit somebody! God, in my 13 years of UFC announcing, I’ve never been more embarrassed…”
- Comment on Here is what 6 decommissioned servers looks like. My Jellyfin will be very happy 1 week ago:
How’s my mom gonna have time for that when she’s busy with every male COD player ever?
- Comment on Discovering what this man has done has ruined my day 1 week ago:
4 stones- Look at me! 4 stone, 4 crates!
ZERO STONES!
ZERO CRATES!
- Comment on Risk your life with this one easy trick! 1 week ago:
Death by System of a Down, you say???
- Comment on Risk your life with this one easy trick! 1 week ago:
Miles Davis? Is that you?
- Comment on Risk your life with this one easy trick! 1 week ago:
What if I wanna grow a third arm and tomatoes that scream at the sunrise?
- Comment on Risk your life with this one easy trick! 1 week ago:
Can you soil my pants too??
- Comment on Judge mulls sanctions over Google’s “shocking” destruction of internal chats 1 week ago:
Put them in the graveyard
- Comment on 27 unique volumes of Brothers Grimm fairy tales discovered in Poland 2 weeks ago:
Finally, we’re gonna get some new Disney movies instead of live-action remakes!
I seriously hope these get published and translated soon, old German fairytales are so fucking metal
- Comment on Humans share the web equally with bots, report warns amid fears of ‘dead internet’ 2 weeks ago:
FULL BRIDGE RECTUM FIRE
- Comment on Boston Creme 2 weeks ago:
I bet I can punch my phone hard enough that OP will feel it
- Comment on lil robot 2 weeks ago:
Jupiter says Juno what you’re talking about
- Comment on God help us. 2 weeks ago:
Punctuation looks like an ellipsis
- Comment on Breaking the news 2 weeks ago:
deleted by employer
- Comment on Here’s your chance to own a decommissioned US government supercomputer 2 weeks ago:
Fuck they, run Doom on it
- Comment on Medieval Doomsday Weapon 2 weeks ago:
i do have an autistic interest in nuclear power, so i know more than the average person. But like, it only makes it funnier
“You know what’s funny?” Asked KillingTimeItself while flicking another match into the brush. “If we had the demon core here and I threw it and hit someone with it in such a way that it momentarily reached prompt criticality, it would be like stabbing them with the world’s slowest knife. Heck, even if you missed, it would still be like a cancer knife that would get them years later.”
FlyingSquid looked on incredulously. “Man, that’s fucked up.”
Just then, the brush caught fire, setting the active battlefield alight and casting a glow on TheFartographer’s face, who was jealous because he forgot to bring matches or a lighter. All three friends giggled and snuck away from the fire.
Just then, TheFartographer got shot in the ass two inches from his butthole and died immediately. FlyingSquid and KillingTimeItself took TheFartographer’s shoes and looted his body, using the valuables to buy more matches in town. They really hadn’t gotten that close to TheFartographer in their time together and he could be a bit of a bastard.
- Comment on Medieval Doomsday Weapon 2 weeks ago:
What’s not fun about starting a fire in the middle of a battlefield?
- Comment on Bodycam video shows DA calling cop an “a**hole” after being pulled over for speeding 2 weeks ago:
Well, everyone should call cops assholes, but don’t be an asshole about it
- Comment on Why people are boycotting Asus all of a sudden? Asus outrage explained 3 weeks ago:
You’ve just described my entire experience with the Transformer tablet. After a year of sending it in within days of receiving it “repaired,” the day after my warranty ended, they said they discovered a faulty network chip and could replace it for the price of a new tablet plus shipping both ways.
I’ve been shouting “Fuck ASUS” for the past 10 years and I’m so glad I can now join others in it.
- Comment on Beansitive 3 weeks ago:
Nailed it
- Comment on Comedy Funeral 3 weeks ago:
Do a barrel roll!
- Comment on Pre-Mac OS X games 3 weeks ago:
Third coast! (Texas)
- Comment on Pre-Mac OS X games 3 weeks ago:
I’m waiting for a pic from my mother. I totally forgot to take one when I visited yesterday
- Submitted 3 weeks ago to retrogaming@lemmy.world | 7 comments
- Comment on ⭐ rockstar developers ⭐ 3 weeks ago:
Stay away from toilets!
- Comment on Microsoft’s VASA-1 can deepfake a person with one photo and one audio track 4 weeks ago:
The pores don’t stretch, but the teeth and irises sure do!