Scientologists Tell Feds They Don't Want Randos Repairing Their E-Meters

Comments

• hi_its_me@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Out of curiosity, has there ever been a teardown of one of these to see what kind of snake oil actually powers them?

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  • GloriaTheFox@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The first version was actually patented, so we know how that one worked fully. The latest versions are secretive but they still likely measure the same thing.

    www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/…/hubbard-patent.html

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    • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Or given that the device’s purpose is to be a prop for psychological manipulation, the current ones might, rather than simply reading out skin resistance, produce some other value more conducive to that purpose. I’m which case, dumping and disassembling the firmware would be as much a threat to Scientology as dumping slot machine firmware would be to casinos and gambling firms. (True story: someone once did this with a slot machine, proving that it was rigged.)

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    • TheRaven@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Midichlorians?

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    • Bizarroland@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Although you do realize that technically, if they're new versions are not patented then they are considered trade secrets right? If you can get your hands on one and patent it then you have a decent pathway to sue the Church of Scientology for patent infringement.

      That would be a fun one to work out

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    • WarmSoda@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Can anyone translate this into Dummy please? What is it doing, according to that patent?

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  • carl_dungeon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Yes. Guy on Reddit a few years ago stole one out of a tent where they were giving free readings and did a full tear down. It’s a cheap Chinese ohm meter with a few extra circuits added for fancy dials and lights. It’s basically a movie prop.

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  • Etienne_Dahu@jlai.lu ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I say 2 AA batteries

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    • Bizarroland@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Given the era, I would suspect more like a single 9 volt battery.

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  • turkalino@lemmy.yachts ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I imagine whoever tries gets sued into oblivion faster than John Deere with a farmer fixing his tractor

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• some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I might have a solution, just hear me out… what if they just folded their phony religion and left everyone alone? See? Everyone wins!

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  • Cabrio@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Fuck scientology, but honestly, props to Ron. It takes a significant amount of rizz and a good lack of fucks to go from being quoted on how lucrative it would be to start a religion while he was a well known science fiction author, only to make a religion and gain untold wealth.

    I mean it’s one thing to grift an idiot, but when you tell them to their face that you’re going to grift them who’s fault is it really?

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    • BakedGoods@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Problem is when you start grifting kids. They can’t exactly consent. Same issue with any religion/grift really. If it’s aimed at a child it’s abuse.

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• Treczoks@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  “Repairing” as in “noticing they don’t actually do anything beside measuring resistance like any common multimeter from the DIY shop”

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  • dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Do they even measure resistance? Hold the probes on a multimeter. Tell me how much resistance you’re measuring. With my MM I’m registering microohms.

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    • rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That just goes to show how important propet training is. Without the right scientology certifications you have no idea how many evil alien ghosts living in your soul those microohms indicate!

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    • XeroxCool@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      … Do you mean you’re measuring megaohms (M) across your body? Or microohms (u) between probes directly? Or milliohms (m)?

      I’ve wet my finger and measured like 30kOhms across a half inch of skin or so. And if you get into your bloodstream, the salty liquid has very low resistance BUT BUT BUT this will kill you if the probe paths across your heart

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    • Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      When I first read about this stuff, it said they were just really sensitive EKG machines.

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• YeetPics@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Zenu forbid everyone finds out their off-the-shelf multimeter from the 70s is just as special and important as their beliefs (not at all).

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• callmemagnus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  When Scientology is your ally… You’re on the bad track

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• uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Someone should invent an e-meter that’s ten times as accurate.

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  • rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s hard to define concepts like “accuracy” when the basic claim is that the gadget can count the evil dead alien ghosts living in your head to hassle you.

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    • uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      It measures skin resistance and then has special metrics regarding Thetans or clarity.

      So one could make one that is even more sensitive, that allows you to practice altering your skin resistance with mind thoughts (roaring ocean waves and salty sea air! Seagulls and warm sun! Sand squishing between your toes!), thereby potentially improving your clarity, or at least improving the measured metrics.

      I’m not a Scientologist, but according to some biofeedback enthusiast friends, ASMR might help them game their readings better.

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• bernieecclestoned@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Not the onion

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• uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  It occurs to me the CoS doesn’t need a state law preventing outside sources from repairing their gizmos. An intra-church policy will do just fine.

  Similarly the Catholic Church doesnt need to impose a state law against third parties making Uriel’s®️ Heavy Duty Double-Divine Holy Water for demon huntering and exorcism when an internal ruling will do as well. The same for Uriel’s Fastin-EZ quick-transubstantiation communion wafers (available also in chocolate, mint and sweetcream flavors!).

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  • ours@lemmy.film ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    There is a group offering CoS-equivalent services free of charge as a bit of a challenge to it (CoS Lite, CoS Methadone). They do so by acquiring these devices second-hand and I guess maintaining them is needed and the CoS wants to limit their impact by limiting their right to repair the devices.

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_Zone_(Scientology)

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• TubeTalkerX@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Where do my feet go?

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