Sometimes I wonder if my older brother and I both were in grave danger, who would my parents save first... 🤔

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• crapwittyname@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  It’s good too always bear this in mind when asking this question: Sophie’s choice is a thought experiment. Meaning that the perfect conditions where a parent has to choose one child to live based on their personal preference, don’t exist. If both kids are in danger of being hit by a bus, the parent will grab both of them. Or if the parent has only one arm, they will grab the one who’s more in danger, or even get themselves in the way to save both kids.
  In less dramatic circumstances, the parent might choose to give more money to kid 1 because they think they need it more, or because they think they will manage it better. It doesn’t mean they love kid 1 more than kid 2.
  I’m a parent. I have infinite love for both of my kids. Love doesn’t play favourites or get into mind games. I love them differently because they are two different people. Treating them exactly the same would lead to unfairness, because their needs are not exactly the same. That applies to the ‘who do I save?’ scenario too, because invariably, one of them will be in more danger/be more possible to save than the other one in that moment.

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  • DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    In less dramatic circumstances, the parent might choose to give more money to kid 1 because they think they need it more, or because they think they will manage it better.

    Or because one has depression the the parent think less of them since they don’t “act normal” and they get threatened with getting left out of the will… 🙃

    (It’s me, I’m the puddle of depression… guess why I’m even depresed in the first place… thanks a lot, mom 🥲)

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    • jafra@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Having an Illness ist nobodys choice and in a perfect world this wouldn’t be held against anyone. People are pepple though. There’s lots of noise, bad decisions and working on oneselfs traumata, because every person has his bad experiences, some more so of course. I guess your parents, too. Theirs might not compare with yours in your eyes, they are stuck in their shoes though.

      ++ Understanding what some mental illness mean in real life and in some specific variants/phenotypes is difficult non-affected.

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    • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      your have parents that had anything to leave?

      most of us dont get that far

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    • crapwittyname@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I’m sorry to hear that. Some parents are worse than useless, which means you get to make your own connections with people you choose. Is the money in the will enough to buy your obedience to someone who actively makes you depressed?

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• Anuttara@leminal.space ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I’d hope they’d never have to face the problem but if they did I’d try my best to accept whatever they do cuz it’s horrible thing to have to choose, tho ofc it would suck and hurt if I’d be abandoned but still

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• j4k3@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Who would you want them to save first?

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• Scipitie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  As I don’t know your parents I can just project from myself: Whoever would be the physically closer one at that precise moment.

  I can’t imagine a situation where this could be a rational decision unless one of you fucked them over in a way I can’t even begin to fathom.

  This is so deep monked brain territory that it really comes down to pure instinct and that is driven by perceived higher chance.

  If the situation is in a way there it’s impossible (for example would have to carry both of you but you’re too heavy) chances would be high that we’d all die together - not because of some heroism bullshit but simply because I know my inner monkey quite well and it’s self preservation instinct vs kin preservation are … Let’s say not in my favor ad an individual :D

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• melsaskca@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You should watch the movie “Sophie’s Favourite”. /s

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• Grail@multiverse.soulism.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  This was a plot point in Superman and Lois, and Lois had a very good explanation for her choice: Your brother doesn’t have powers. I trusted you to look after yourself where he couldn’t.

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• kindnesskills@literature.cafe ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Probably whoever is in gravest danger or, if the danger is percieved as equal, who physically closest to them at the time.

  If one of you are able to save themselves they would save the other. If neither could save themselves they wouldn’t run past one of you to look for the other but get the first one they see out first.

  I don’t think trying to figure out favourites like this is worth thinking about, past the sbive point. If you dwell on thoughts like this beyond a slight curiosity it might just be your mind trying to come up with different ways to hurt you and make you suffer emotionally. Don’t let it.

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• BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  There’s only one way to find out, take a trip with the whole family to Niagara Falls or Yellowstone.

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  • DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Going hunting with family

    In a special zone in Yellowstone 👀

    Maybe that infamous legal theory should be tested 🤭

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• Lumidaub@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Probably the one who’s more easily accessible.

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