Is that even possible?
Pfff, who needs doctors? I’m clearly way smarter than those pretentious “doctors”
/s
Is there self help for narcissism?
Submitted 18 hours ago by muxika@lemmy.world to showerthoughts@lemmy.world
Comments
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 18 hours ago
fuzzywombat@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Short answer, no. I know several people that are narcissists and they don’t get better over time. In fact I think they’ve gotten lot worse. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist and perhaps thinking this person may get better over time, I have a bad news for you. No. Most definitely won’t. No amount of therapy will “fix” narcissism because for any behavioral therapy to work the person has to admit they have a problem and want to get better. Narcissists are simply incapable of doing just that. Only solution is to remove narcissist from your life. Do it as soon as possible. Yes, I’m speaking from first hand experience.
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Speaking from personal experience, that’s simply not true. Narcisism is a mental disorder just like any other and can be treated with it’s own form of therapy. You are right that it can be difficult to treat as the onus of understanding falls on the patient choosing to want change in their life which means they have to admit they are wrong. That’s not impossible at all though and many full on narcissists often have a eureka moment when their cognitive dissonance can’t write off an event. On top of that, hormonal changes through life can also play a big role with many people literally growing out of it with different stages of life. Lastly, it’s often adopted by people as a trauma response, meaning that fixing the traumatic stimuli can lead to lessening narcissistic tendencies.
I personally was raised to be a narcissist, lived only with narcissists, and still have narcissistic tendencies that spawn from formative points of trauma. My moment was finding myself alone with a kid I never wanted to have and realizing that I literally had no one in my life to blame anymore. When you put yourself on an island alone so other people can’t fuck up your life anymore only to find out your life is still steadily fucking up on its own, it’s hard not to realize it’s actually you. Couple that with the pressures of parenthood, hormonal changes that no one warns men about, and the realization that I was going to do to my kid what was done to me until he found himself on that same island at 21, I decided to take drastic action.
It’s been a decade. I compartmentalize by joking that I killed that person and took his place. I still occasionally slip, I have a hard time being corrected by people I don’t respect, I instinctually judge things I don’t like as inferior, and I’m sensitive to people blaming me for things, but all of these are now within normal human response levels instead of where I was. Having that kid taught me a lot about empathy. I’m a lot more understanding of people because i realize threat people that aren’t exactly like me aren’t just idiots and fuck ups.
Narcissists are people and nobody is incapable of change.
SalamenceFury@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
Do you have NPD? It is possible actually. NPD is extremely demonized out there for no reason when most people with NPD are not going around abusing people. The majority of abusers are perfectly fine mentally, they’re just assholes.
grue@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
[deleted]rockerface@lemmy.cafe 15 hours ago
Those refer to different people? The first one is about people with NPD, the second is referring to specifically neurotypical abusers
pooberbee@lemmy.ml 15 hours ago
Reading is hard
sircac@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
I thought that part of being a narcissist implies the lack of self accountability to begin with, a narcissist cannot recognise the problem by themself, only external agents can induce them to it at best, and the moment they acknowledge it… is not narcissist anymore, right?
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
It’s messy. Kinda like knowing you have anxiety disorder doesn’t make you not anxious. Knowing is a big step but from there you have to work out the behaviours and viewpoints that come from it and fight the instinctual drive to respond that way.
I was raised with some heavy narcissistic tendencies and my first response when I hear about people growing up with power ragers is still to assume they’re trashy and beneath me despite knowing more examples to the contrary than the supporting. I have to stop myself and actually remember not to be judgmental every time. Eventually it becomes your nature, but dome things will always put you in that head space.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Yes, it’s rare that they seek treatment, but it’s likely that due to similarities with BPD similar treatment (DBT) may work. But ultimately it requires honesty, vulnerability, and to have someone checking you on your shit
ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
They have to will themselves into accountability, I guess… but how they get there, idk. I know someone who sadly fits the criteria and it seems to have only gotten worse with time. 😔
worhui@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Everything I have seen on it points to the fact that things can get better with effort. Since like any mental status it has a spectrum of severity.
One of the main problems with Narcissism is the lack of self awareness as well as the lack of mind-fullness of those around. It’s going to be pretty hard to get a different perspective on behavior without an outside reference.
I’ve heard a story a people who was narcissists improving, but I have no idea of it was self driven or with assistance.
db2@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
No, by its nature it’s only self perpetuating.
the_q@lemmy.zip 17 hours ago
A narcissist wouldn’t seek help.
foggy@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
Oh but if they did it would be self help 😂
kindred@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 hours ago
I used to have narcissism, but then I helped myself out of it.
I did such an amazing job (the best job, in fact) that I don’t have it anymore.