happens every single time

Comments

• Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  “Hey!! Give me a listen, it’s my stethoscope!”

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• Maalus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Ha, I make stethoscopes for a living. I can set one aside and listen to my balls any time I want.

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  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    (This person has one set aside, his very favourite one that they named it, and listens to their balls absolutely all the time at work.)

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    • Maalus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I have a stethoscope set aside, I grab my kitty, snuggle him till he’s purring like an engine and then listen to him purr even louder through the stethoscope

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• Mac@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Well duh. it’s a waiting paradox: the longer you wait the closer to someone coming in. You have to immediately seize the opportunity to get it done before anyone comes in.

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• flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Image

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  • Yuyarl@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I am a shitposter – my posts are shit

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    • flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Keep up the good work!

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• Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Just checking for infection of the perineum, doc!

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• peregrin5@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Life hack to shorten doctors visits.

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• roguetrick@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I ain’t leaving my stethoscope around for you shitbirds to play with. I don’t even let my coworkers use it

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  • Scranulum@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Then how will you listen for the testicular gallop

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    • idunnololz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      No that’s why they don’t leave it lying around. So they can listen to the testies and you can’t.

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• wwb4itcgas@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Okay, I’m gonna be honest here: That’s one thing that’s never happened to me.

  Lots of other… things, yes. But not that one.

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  • DannyBoy@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    How does it feel to always know when the doctor is about to enter?

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    • wwb4itcgas@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Anxious, but in a titillating sort of way.

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  • Pudutr0n@feddit.cl ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    How do you avoid getting caught?

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    • oppy1984@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      One way is to be me and have a nursing instructor for a mother. She had multiple stethoscopes and just gave me one to play with.

      Also I’ve never been in a doctor’s office where they left a stethoscope laying around, they always bring theirs in with them.

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    • wwb4itcgas@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Ah yes. That’d be luck. And sometimes, just seeking refuge in audacity. Just stare the doctor right in the eyes and say: “What? Don’t pretend you haven’t done it too.”

      Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. He’ll pretend it is - if he knows what good for him.

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