Submitted 2 days ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/382980b4-a595-4b9d-9dda-41367319a118.jpeg
I didn’t mean for this post to cause a bunch of arguing in the comments =(
I thought this was just some gallows humor (e.g. “Everything’s lovely except that I have to fear for my safety all the time”) type of shitpost that sounded similar to comments I’ve heard from women irl a lot.
As a girl, I love taking walks in the evening/night or early in the morning, they really are a vibe! However if there’s a man who appears to be following behind me, I always grab my keys in my pocket to be ready to fight in case he tries anything. I will also text friends/family when I’m going out and text them when I arrive back home.
Gotta admit, I do love me some murderin’
I’m tired of feeling alienated for being male. I’m tired of the default consideration for what a man is being a rapist and a murderer; someone dangerous not to be implicitly trusted; someone you should own a gun to protect yourself from. I’m tired of being labelled a cis man because saying just man would imply that trans men could ever be monsters like us. I go out wearing a skirt and heels and I am trusted, women approach me, give me compliments, ask me for directions. I go out without shaving and am embraced by callousness. If I could ask one thing, if you wouldn’t be comfortable using the word “brother,” “father,” “son,” “boyfriend” or “husband,” don’t use the word “man” or “men.” Use another word. A murderer doesn’t have to be tied to their gender.
Imagine if you had to deal with actually being targeted as a minority or woman. You’d be so mad, dude.
I’m a guy who dresses like a girl. I get cat called, threatened to be raped and then called a faggot and thrown into a position where I have to physically defend myself. Yet as you have so eloquently shown people who aren’t horny for me, see me as a man first. My privilege is assumed and as such I am not granted the community that the above white woman automatically receives. I am fucking mad. You’re looking at injustice passively, like it’s my fault.
Where is your fucking anger?
I’m sorry it bothers you like that.
I personally don’t feel alienated or attacked at all by the kinds of comments you are describing. When I see a comment like “men murder women”, I think of it in the same kind of way comments like “humans are horrible” or “Australians are racist” or “young people have no attention span”… That is to say it describes a trend or someone’s perception of a tendency but does not refer to any specific individual.
People aren’t saying these things to attack you. They are saying them to communicate their own feelings of being unsafe. And to be frank, feeling that you shouldn’t go for a walk at night because it is too dangerous is a pretty serious thing which has obvious negative effects - and the concern is based in reality. It isn’t just a perception problem. So we should take these comments seriously - not just complain about the people saying them.
How do you feel when someone says women are whores, Germans are Nazis or Africans are slaves? I feel offended and outraged. I don’t care if there are women who work as prostitutes, that most Nazis were Germans and that the trans-atlantic slave trade systematically enslaved a culture group. It’s irrelevant. You’re discriminating and dehumanising these people. But in these times it’s normal to hear men are trash, they’re rapists, they murder. So people are numb to it. They don’t care about it. They will justify it by insisting men are of a position of privilege. That all men intentionally built a patriarchal society to indulge themselves. Most men I know are just people. They want change. They are being alienated and that alienation drives them towards those that actually are the thing people claim men are.
I think you said it well “we should take these comments seriously - not just complain about the people saying them.” I just wish people would say it about men.
You are not alone in feeling that. Everyone being angry about this in here probably feels the same. And it’s incredibly ingenuine to on one hand say this post communicates feelings about fear of going outside and/or men, while simultaneously dismissing feelings of anger at being called a murderer.
My own comment being dismissive of this post (because it’s a shitpost, that’s the literal community here) was deleted.
Another one where I say “women lie” is being downvoted and it was (softly) implied I’m a murderer for saying this (The comment says “You are the man we are afraid of”, context is “men like to murder” as of the OP). The reply and votes to the “women lie” one means people do in fact notice that an overgeneralization hurts. They just don’t care if it hurts men. Presumably because “men are murderers” and are thus not allowed a voice besides belittling themselves.
It’s just sad.
I made a reply to blind3rdeye where I mirrored some of your sentiments. I have a hard time finding mutual empathy with people. When anyone talks about the unique pain of belonging to certain groups I try my hardest to trust them. I do this because of how much dismissiveness there is of men’s issues.
the difference is your generalization isn’t based in statistical fact. women who lie about false rape accusations (i assume that’s what you’re trying to get at here) are such an unfathomably small minority that no man ever has to live their life considering it. by saying that this is something women in do in equivalence to what women are saying men do, you’re implying otherwise and implying the authenticity of countless women’s experiences with sexual violence at the hands of men is invalid. experiences which are already seldom believed by the people who need to hear it.
on the other hand, a substantial amount of women experience sexual violence from men. it’s statistically common enough that women have to live in fear and that conventional wisdom has long held that women should not go out at night alone, carry mace, etc. etc. etc.
bottom line is, it’s a false equivalency that serves only to invalidate the reality women must face, and what you’re trying to equate it to is that reality. you are harming women by doing this.
it does not harm men to point out what a significant enough amount of them to be dangerous to women at large are doing. you are not personally affected by women saying that men are violent or murderers, but women are personally affected by your exaggerated claims of dishonesty when they speak out against this violence.
Men really can’t do anything fun anymore 😔
women fear being murdered by men they’ve rejected and strangers
– oof ouch owie my male feelings!
That sucks man. I love night walks too, especially through secluded areas and when it’s super dark, overcast and windy. There is something very enjoyable and exhilarating about being outside, invisible and unnoticed in a busy world. I feel bad that you don’t get to enjoy that.
ITT:
lemmy fans learn Lemmy isn’t special
If I said cops are racist, would y’all really think I’m being biased against cops? After all, it’s not all cops. 🙄
There’s not enough education about psychopaths and the dangerous subtypes like dark-triad psychopathy.
I only learned about it in my mid twenties.
If we taught about it there could be prevented a lot of harm.
If you don’t know about it chances are that you always ask yourself „how could someone do This?!“
Simply because they have characteristics that are so far away from your world of feelings and perception of social stuff that you are incapable of understanding it unless you get informed, at least this was my situation.
It’s ok “The Picard Maneuver” everyone has their shitpost day … wait where am I again??
So what should we do about the man probl? What right does any individual have to exist when it makes 50% of the planet so terrified?
If there was a healthy place to talk aboutnitbwould be one thing. But that impossible
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 hours ago
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HereIAm@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Agreed. Like I get “hurr durr statistics”. But you’re not very likely to be in a car crash on any given day, but you still put your seat belt on. That people can’t take the backseat for just a second and have some empathy for the struggles of other people without butting in with whataboutism. You’re even allowed to share in their struggle. I don’t fear I’ll be SAd, but of course I fear physical violence, so use your commonality to support each other rather than trying to one up.