You dress like a girl, experience what most female-presenting people experience, and you still don’t fucking understand. Amazing. Tell me, was it women cat calling you and threatening to rape you? Or was it other men? If so, this bigotry wasn’t bigotry against men, it was bigotry against a man who isn’t masculine enough for other men’s standards. Bigotry against a man thought to be a woman by other men. The problem once again remains toxic masculinity manifested in men, or to put it simply, men.
I’m angry for the discrimination you’ve experienced, but I’m not directing it toward women who are speaking about experiencing the same things you have at the hands of men, the way you are in this thread.
Your problem is that you are assuming when we say “men” we’re including you and literally every other man in existence. Words have meanings and there’s a reason why we’re not specifically using “all.”
You’re not going to be treated well for being feminine-presenting until misogyny is defeated, and that isn’t going to happen until guys like you stop being dismissive of women’s experiences because you get defensive on behalf of all men for no fucking reason.
Snowclone@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
I’m not angry at women for fearing violent abuse from men. I think you’re misdirecting this A LOT. If as a person you hear ‘‘men might kill me’’ and you think ‘‘poor poor men, why can’t they catch a break’’ your problem isn’t passive adittudes to bigotry, it’s having no idea that other people have problems and fears and threats and they are as upset about them as you would be in their shoes.
Fleur_@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
My problem is going up to men and proclaiming “men might kill me” and expecting that to go over well. Like let me just walk up to someone transgender and exclaim “transgender people might rape my children.” That is objectively such a horrific thing to say. But no one cares when you say it about men. Because a man obviously will actually kill you 🙄
SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
How many examples are there of trans people raping children?
How many examples of men raping women are there?
I’m a male and I’m not getting wounding up about this. Grow up.
Fleur_@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
At least one of each. Both are ridiculous statements drawn up by the delusional to push an agenda. You are getting wound up about me defending men due to a ridiculous statement in the same way I am getting wound up about a ridiculous statement that “others” men.
Snowclone@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Are you mad at trans people when they say they aren’t going to be safe in a men’s bathroom? Because they won’t be. I Don’t know why it’s the man part of the statement that you are so upset by. I’m also a man. I’m not hurt by this entirely justified fear that women have.
AGAIN. You are attacking women for fearing men, because they aren’t being sensitive enough to men while expressing fear for their life. This isn’t about men’s feelings. It’s about the women’s feelings. It’s OK to express entirely justified fears.
I’ve been a person who’s had to help document stalking, to help get restraining orders, to put policy in place to prevent men targeting young women. This is a part of running any open to the public business where women work, or frequent. You have to know this as a matter of business management that when a worker or shopper says ‘‘I don’t know this man following or talking to me, and I’m getting scared’’ that you need to take it seriously, and also be aware your two steps behind. It shouldn’t get to that point.
You have to notice when a guy comes in twice to talk to the same cashier, you have to pull them off the floor everytime he comes back, and if he asks once about that staff member, you HAVE to start paperwork. That’s the crucial point. That’s where if you do nothing, someone can get hurt or killed.
THAT EARLY is when you need to have paperwork, offical trespassing complaints, restraining orders, that’s when you need to know that man has been pushed back enough to pull his head out of his ass and realize the high school or college age girl at a shirt folding store isn’t going to fall in love with him, and some pressure to let him know, you’ve already been caught, you can’t get away with it, you’ll never get away with it.
Women deal with this EVERY SINGLE DAY they go out into public alone. I had to learn this. I had no idea it was this bad, I childishly thought cat calling was a thing that only happened in like three different streets in NYC or Boston. Not so. There’s guys with a wife and kids in his 40s driving to work in my small town who will roll down their window and scream obscene things at high school kids they think are hot walking to school.
Fleur_@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
No I’m not. I’m just saying I feel alienated when the term men is used as a substitute for murderer. I think you should read my original comment again.
_lunar@lemmy.ml 4 weeks ago
Men, statistically, actually might kill you. Transgender people, statistically, aren’t going to rape your kids. You’re including yourself when women talk about negative experiences from men when you don’t have to. Again, men ≠ all men including you.
Fleur_@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
Statistically you won’t be killed by a man for walking alone at night. Just as statistically your kids won’t be raped by a transgender person. For some reason you are okay with the former though not the later. You are okay with this because you don’t care about men. Those people are less to you. I don’t like that. I think it’s wrong.