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Comment on The one drawback to walking at night

Fleur_@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

I’m a guy who dresses like a girl. I get cat called, threatened to be raped and then called a faggot and thrown into a position where I have to physically defend myself. Yet as you have so eloquently shown people who aren’t horny for me, see me as a man first. My privilege is assumed and as such I am not granted the community that the above white woman automatically receives. I am fucking mad. You’re looking at injustice passively, like it’s my fault.

Where is your fucking anger?

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Snowclone@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I’m not angry at women for fearing violent abuse from men. I think you’re misdirecting this A LOT. If as a person you hear ‘‘men might kill me’’ and you think ‘‘poor poor men, why can’t they catch a break’’ your problem isn’t passive adittudes to bigotry, it’s having no idea that other people have problems and fears and threats and they are as upset about them as you would be in their shoes.

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- Fleur_@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  My problem is going up to men and proclaiming “men might kill me” and expecting that to go over well. Like let me just walk up to someone transgender and exclaim “transgender people might rape my children.” That is objectively such a horrific thing to say. But no one cares when you say it about men. Because a man obviously will actually kill you 🙄
  
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  - SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    How many examples are there of trans people raping children?
    
    How many examples of men raping women are there?
    
    I’m a male and I’m not getting wounding up about this. Grow up.
    
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    Fleur_@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    At least one of each. Both are ridiculous statements drawn up by the delusional to push an agenda. You are getting wound up about me defending men due to a ridiculous statement in the same way I am getting wound up about a ridiculous statement that “others” men.
    
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  - _lunar@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Men, statistically, actually might kill you. Transgender people, statistically, aren’t going to rape your kids. You’re including yourself when women talk about negative experiences from men when you don’t have to. Again, men ≠ all men including you.
    
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    Fleur_@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Statistically you won’t be killed by a man for walking alone at night. Just as statistically your kids won’t be raped by a transgender person. For some reason you are okay with the former though not the later. You are okay with this because you don’t care about men. Those people are less to you. I don’t like that. I think it’s wrong.
    
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_lunar@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You dress like a girl, experience what most female-presenting people experience, and you still don’t fucking understand. Amazing. Tell me, was it women cat calling you and threatening to rape you? Or was it other men? If so, this bigotry wasn’t bigotry against men, it was bigotry against a man who isn’t masculine enough for other men’s standards. Bigotry against a man thought to be a woman by other men. The problem once again remains toxic masculinity manifested in men, or to put it simply, men.

I’m angry for the discrimination you’ve experienced, but I’m not directing it toward women who are speaking about experiencing the same things you have at the hands of men, the way you are in this thread.

Your problem is that you are assuming when we say “men” we’re including you and literally every other man in existence. Words have meanings and there’s a reason why we’re not specifically using “all.”

You’re not going to be treated well for being feminine-presenting until misogyny is defeated, and that isn’t going to happen until guys like you stop being dismissive of women’s experiences because you get defensive on behalf of all men for no fucking reason.

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- Fleur_@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I don’t blame men for it because it’s not mens fault it’s that fuckers fault. You don’t understand and you don’t even want to. I don’t blame women for harassing me and refusing service to me when I’m trying to buy clothes. You know who I blame. I blame that fucker.
  
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  - _lunar@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    By choosing to ignore that men are the primary offenders of violence not just against women but in general, only viewing it as an individual failings, we won’t be able to make any progress toward remedying the actual problem at hand. Men are socialized under patriarchy, it gives many of them (not all of them and I’m tired of having to say this) a poor sense of emotional regulation and an even poorer view of women as equal human beings who are deserving of fair treatment. You’re the one who doesn’t want to understand, and your point of view services the unjust status quo that thinks that crime should be addressed after it’s committed rather than addressing the social conditions of the source.
    
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    Fleur_@lemm.ee ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    By alienating men and refusing to listen to them they have been driven to the right. It’s so easy to empathise with the issues facing men because they are the issues facing everyone. Your misplaced blame to men is akin to the typical right wing bigots misplaced blame to transgender people and minorities. They will use statistics to back up the claims they make and you will see through their attempts but then do the same thing to men and be unable to see the contradiction. I’m sorry that you can’t, and never will, see further than your own narrow experience. I am pessimistic because of people like you. You are the indoctrinated right winger, a parallel track that insists it runs in a different direction.
    
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