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Comment on Dating app Bumble will no longer require women to make the first move | CNN Business

I think we should get a blind match dating app, where we emphasize on the content and not on the visuals. You just add some information about what kind of a person you are, what you are looking for, etc. and after you match and exchange some messages, you can open the pictures.

But dating apps are turning into those cheap e-commerce sites where everyone judges the items by the packaging and no one actually cares about the content. And mind you in a lot of cases the pictures of the packaging are highly exaggerated or from a couple of years, from better times. And you know, no matter how shiny this package is, there would be a day you will need to throw it in the trash and you will need to decide whether to throw the product along or only the package.

Excuse my metaphors.

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whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I can’t imagine something more awkward than having to explicitly deny someone based on looks after having a good conversation.

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- jpreston2005@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  What, never been catfished before? Had plenty of women do this to me on apps. All their pictures show one person, then they show up as a person and a half. After the date I just tell them “thanks but no thanks, you catfished me.”
  
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  - whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    No I’ve never been catfished before. My “type” is queer/weird though, I would never blindly swipe right on the stereotypically attractive straight woman.
    
    How has this happened multiple times?? Are you actually being catfished or are you just talking about people who look fatter than you’d like in person?
    
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    jpreston2005@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, that I “blindly” swipe on stereotypically attractive straight women (how would one blindly do that, I wonder), or that I am judgemental? It has happened to me 3 different times. Women using pictures of them before serious weight gain. all 3 cases it was over 100lbs difference between pictures and reality.
    
    Also my type is queer/weird, as I am queer and weird.
    
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MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I have an inkling that would result in people speedrunning all the stuff up until they can see what someone looks like…

Looks do matter, and everyone has different preferences.

The problem isn’t that people are judging people based on only their looks, it’s that these companies have tuned their matching algorithms to match people who enjoy each others appearance, and specifically don’t like each other as people.

In reality, for a satisfying relationship you need both. It’s really hard to be more than friends with someone that physically repulses you, and it’s really hard to be more than friends with benefits with someone you don’t like as a person.

By specifically tuning their system to only give you one, and never the other, they keep people in the grind. You might be pretty happy using these apps for hookups, but even there the algorithm will actively working against you stumbling onto someone you might wanna meet more than once.

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- AlteredStateBlob@kbin.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  I've met several partners off the internet through means where images were not involved, but it was clearly geared towards dating still (mainly reddit, if you would believe it). Some like to get the images out of the way early, others talk for weeks before that becomes an issue. There's still some that then drop out (I'm not the most attractive lad to ever be a lad, plus preferences exist, as you say) but others worked out great.
  
  My strengths don't lie in my style or looks, so dating apps are basically useless to me, yet I have no trouble in attracting partners in circumstances where my personality is a bit more in focus.
  
  I think there's a space for apps like those for sure. Since there's plenty where you can go purely or predominantly by looks, no one has to go for an app where that is the case.
  
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- Allero@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  My two best and longest (multi-year) relationships were on the Internet in places where I didn’t know anything about looks of my partners.
  
  With one of them, I said I love her before I first saw her. And I’m not the kind of person to take such words lightly.
  
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  - MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    You absolutely can love someone because of who they are alone. And if you genuinely, truly, can “get it up for anyone”, then great. Or maybe you don’t have a need for that stuff in your relationships in the first place.
    
    But as someone who is borderline haphephobic (the fear of touch), yet also absolutely have a psychological and physiological need for physical intimacy, loving someone as a person is not enough to automatically mean I’m also going to feel something physical.
    
    It doesn’t matter how strongly I feel about who they are. If I don’t want to touch their body, no amount of wishing I wanted to, changes that.
    
    And personally, I do need to want that.
    
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    Allero@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    That’s perfectly valid!
    
    It’s just that there should be a higher degree of variety on the online dating scene.
    
    Some people absolutely do care for looks, and can’t - and shouldn’t - help it.
    
    But for those who care less - alternative avenues should be provided.
    
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trup3s@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
You should take a look at blindmate. It does exactly what you imagined. You just upload some Fotos, Friends of yours answer some questions about you and swipe for you. If you have a match you write a little bit and after every other message you unlock a bit more on the others profile. I don’t know if it’s currently available outside of Germany.

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AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

I think we should get a blind match dating app, where we emphasize on the content and not on the visuals. You just add some information about what kind of a person you are, what you are looking for, etc. and after you match…

And it’s only the morning after that you’re allowed to turn the lights on.

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