This, and also you can always be a better, more likable version of yourself. There’s a difference between understanding the things people expect from other people and tailoring your actions and thoughts to align with those things, and sacricifing who you are to be taken advantage of, or contorting yourself into something unrecognizable.
It’s a fine line that many people who are not neurotypical or struggle with some kind of trauma have trouble finding, but it is real and learning to see it can bring positive and lasting change to your life.
Also, nobody likes someone that eats poop so if you eat your own poop or other peoples poop the stop eating poop.
snek_boi@lemmy.ml 2 days ago
I love your comment because this is literally what happens with democratization efforts in societies where there are very strict gender roles or religious duties. It is very easy to preach about democracy and freedom, but it is harder to truly expand people’s capabilities. If someone is to truly be themselves, they need a context that truly empowers them to be free.
Here’s an example I witnessed: I once saw a man lose his house, his job, and his inheritance, because he came out to his conservative family. He went from a comfortable middle class upbringing to being homeless in a matter of minutes. A friend took him in while he found a job, but it was only a matter of time (and money) for him to flee to a more inclusive society.
In the face of this, perhaps it would be easy to just say “well, at least he found out who truly loved him for who he was”, but we shouldn’t romanticize homelessness, poverty, and severed connections. They’re devastating.
So what can we do? At a shelter I worked in, we made darn sure people had their a clear path forward before fully leaving their abuse-filled reality. More broadly, we should strive to expand human capabilities.
Talking is easy. Being capable is harder.
blarghly@lemmy.world 2 days ago
You arent the first to note the relation between a good democracy and self sufficiency. In Jefferson’s ideal America, everyone would be a self-sufficient subsistance farmer, thus allowing each to freely speak his mind.
snek_boi@lemmy.ml 2 days ago
Ineed, not my original thinking. I base my thinking on Amartya Sen’s view of human development, Christian Welzel’s view of the human empowerment process, and what I’ve seen in the places I’ve worked at.