Comment on YSK that only by being yourself will you find people who like the real you. No one can beat you at being you, but you’ll only ever be second best at pretending to be someone else.

Triumph@fedia.io ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• snek_boi@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I love your comment because this is literally what happens with democratization efforts in societies where there are very strict gender roles or religious duties. It is very easy to preach about democracy and freedom, but it is harder to truly expand people’s capabilities. If someone is to truly be themselves, they need a context that truly empowers them to be free.

  Here’s an example I witnessed: I once saw a man lose his house, his job, and his inheritance, because he came out to his conservative family. He went from a comfortable middle class upbringing to being homeless in a matter of minutes. A friend took him in while he found a job, but it was only a matter of time (and money) for him to flee to a more inclusive society.

  In the face of this, perhaps it would be easy to just say “well, at least he found out who truly loved him for who he was”, but we shouldn’t romanticize homelessness, poverty, and severed connections. They’re devastating.

  So what can we do? At a shelter I worked in, we made darn sure people had their a clear path forward before fully leaving their abuse-filled reality. More broadly, we should strive to expand human capabilities.

  Talking is easy. Being capable is harder.

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  • blarghly@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You arent the first to note the relation between a good democracy and self sufficiency. In Jefferson’s ideal America, everyone would be a self-sufficient subsistance farmer, thus allowing each to freely speak his mind.

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    • snek_boi@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Ineed, not my original thinking. I base my thinking on Amartya Sen’s view of human development, Christian Welzel’s view of the human empowerment process, and what I’ve seen in the places I’ve worked at.

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• frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I was able to follow it, but it meant finding a completely different community from the one I was in. That’s not an easy thing to do.

  The rewards are 100% worth it, though.

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• sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I’m glad people are starting to grow up from this tired old sentiment. We live in a vast network of people and literally no one is entirely self sufficient. the ones who seem to be are just striking a pose and selling a vibe as a means of connecting. we do live our lives with consideration of others or else we find ourselves pretty alone when it all comes down.

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• krooklochurm@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  This, and also you can always be a better, more likable version of yourself. There’s a difference between understanding the things people expect from other people and tailoring your actions and thoughts to align with those things, and sacricifing who you are to be taken advantage of, or contorting yourself into something unrecognizable.

  It’s a fine line that many people who are not neurotypical or struggle with some kind of trauma have trouble finding, but it is real and learning to see it can bring positive and lasting change to your life.

  Also, nobody likes someone that eats poop so if you eat your own poop or other peoples poop the stop eating poop.

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  • Triumph@fedia.io ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That last bit reveals something important.

    Be yourself unless you’re too weird. There will be no elaboration on what “too weird” is.

    So here we all are, every day wondering “Am I too weird?” and not daring to find out lest we be shunned.

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  • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Also, nobody likes someone that eats poop

    Oh boy, is this how you’re gonna learn about scat fetishes?

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  • Blumpkinhead@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Solid advice, thank you.

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