This may be the dumbest thing I've made yet. Sorry.

Comments

• Seraph@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  John Deere™ Tractor Beam

  No you can't repair it on your own - you have to bring it to a licensed repair shop.

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  • The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    When they’re broken, it’s easier to just fire them out as projectiles.

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    • negativenull@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Eject the Warp Core Tractor Beam -Shaxs

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  • teft@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    And there is only one repair shop per quadrant.

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  • usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Nothing beams like a Deere

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• bappity@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  data turns around “captain, did I execute humour successfully?”

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  • The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Image

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    • bappity@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Captain’s Log. Stardate 23170.6 I have growing concerns about commander data’s new emotion chip, as he is struggling to understand the nuances and subjectivity of humour.

      Yesterday morning, he placed a dangerously high concentration of laxatives in commander LaForge’s beverage and later, followed him into the latrine, just to deliver a punchline about Geordi not knowing whether to shit or go blind.

      Doctor Crushers medical report stated that Geordi spent six hours on the toilet and was so dehydrated after that he required an IV drip and an overnight stay in sickbay, where he continued to have explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea throughout the night.

      Because data is the only crew member who could enter sickbay without violently vomiting, I ordered him to spend the day cleaning and sanitising the mess Geordi left behind.

      In more ways than one, I guess you could say that he is in deep shit. Now that is funny.

      Anyway. Commander LaForge is feeling marginally better today, but is still quite angry and had to be restrained by security after attempting to dispatch data from the ships airlock. I have put them on opposite ships, to avoid further contact.

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    • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I think Data just sitting there like everything is normal is perfect for the ending.

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    • The_Riker_Maneuver@startrek.website ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      My stance is better in this one. More dynamic.

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  • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I believe you mean "successfully, you lunkhead "

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    • bappity@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Image

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• MajorHavoc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  It’s perfect!

  I’ve wanted to see someone make this since the first time I heard “engage the tractor beam”.

  Of course, I was probably like 5. Then again, my humor hasn’t progressed that much since then anyway.

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  • The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I finally got your letter in the mail. It just took forever for the post office to discern your 5 y/o handwriting.

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• teft@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  This could be a Mel Brooks plotline.

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  • ArcaneGadget@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Would feel right at home in Spaceballs. Has similar energy to “jamming the radar”.

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• Starglasses@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  It took me a good minute. Got a real good laugh!!

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• Blackout@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  This is why I prefer physical buttons over touchscreens in my starships. Happens all the time.

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  • The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    And don’t get me started on voice commands.

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    • marcos@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Well, loud-voice-only password entry is probably the best invention on all of those series.

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• NumbersCanBeFun@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Plausible too. Didn’t they tractor in an old ford during Voyager?

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  • agent_flounder@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Indeed.

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• CADmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “Too strong, Mr. Data, use the Kubota setting”

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• milkisklim@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Fun fact I heard from an employee a year or so ago.

  When contractors for John Deere are hired to become full JD employees they call the process “getting a green card” on account of the new ID badge’s color.

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• stardust@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Is beautiful! You scratched an itch I didn’t even know I had.

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• Lydia_K@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I love it!

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• KnightontheSun@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Well, they can’t all be winners, but I still enjoyed it.

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  • The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I unfortunately can’t change who I am.

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    • KnightontheSun@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Nothing unfortunate about it.

      You. We like you.

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    • verity_kindle@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Warp 9 to Planet Kubota, there are ripe right-to-repair maidens to be rescued!

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• StillPaisleyCat@startrek.website ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Anyone else have Ukrainian farmers come to mind?

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  Not that I’m suggesting mixing in a political war meme here, but that’s what popped up first for me.

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  • verity_kindle@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Yea boi

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• Wizarded@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Technically correct

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• interolivary@beehaw.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I said “argh” out loud, which means this is is perfect

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  • The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I live for groans.

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    • interolivary@beehaw.org ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I wholeheartedly support this goal

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• lemillionsocks@beehaw.org ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Sometimes an idea can be so dumb, it comes back around again as GENIUS. Congratulations.

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  • The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Lol, thank you

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• WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  We’ve gone back in time to season 2!

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