data turns around “captain, did I execute humour successfully?”
This may be the dumbest thing I've made yet. Sorry.
Submitted 7 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website to risa@startrek.website
https://startrek.website/pictrs/image/e48ae09e-d09a-4d9d-a7a8-ff1354051b98.png
Comments
bappity@lemmy.world 7 months ago
The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 7 months ago
bappity@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Captain’s Log. Stardate 23170.6 I have growing concerns about commander data’s new emotion chip, as he is struggling to understand the nuances and subjectivity of humour.
Yesterday morning, he placed a dangerously high concentration of laxatives in commander LaForge’s beverage and later, followed him into the latrine, just to deliver a punchline about Geordi not knowing whether to shit or go blind.
Doctor Crushers medical report stated that Geordi spent six hours on the toilet and was so dehydrated after that he required an IV drip and an overnight stay in sickbay, where he continued to have explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea throughout the night.
Because data is the only crew member who could enter sickbay without violently vomiting, I ordered him to spend the day cleaning and sanitising the mess Geordi left behind.
In more ways than one, I guess you could say that he is in deep shit. Now that is funny.
Anyway. Commander LaForge is feeling marginally better today, but is still quite angry and had to be restrained by security after attempting to dispatch data from the ships airlock. I have put them on opposite ships, to avoid further contact.
NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 7 months ago
I think Data just sitting there like everything is normal is perfect for the ending.
The_Riker_Maneuver@startrek.website 7 months ago
My stance is better in this one. More dynamic.
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 7 months ago
I believe you mean "successfully, you lunkhead "
bappity@lemmy.world 7 months ago
MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 7 months ago
It’s perfect!
I’ve wanted to see someone make this since the first time I heard “engage the tractor beam”.
Of course, I was probably like 5. Then again, my humor hasn’t progressed that much since then anyway.
The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 7 months ago
I finally got your letter in the mail. It just took forever for the post office to discern your 5 y/o handwriting.
teft@startrek.website 7 months ago
This could be a Mel Brooks plotline.
ArcaneGadget@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Would feel right at home in Spaceballs. Has similar energy to “jamming the radar”.
Starglasses@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
It took me a good minute. Got a real good laugh!!
Blackout@startrek.website 7 months ago
This is why I prefer physical buttons over touchscreens in my starships. Happens all the time.
The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 7 months ago
And don’t get me started on voice commands.
marcos@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Well, loud-voice-only password entry is probably the best invention on all of those series.
NumbersCanBeFun@kbin.social 7 months ago
Plausible too. Didn’t they tractor in an old ford during Voyager?
agent_flounder@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Indeed.
CADmonkey@lemmy.world 7 months ago
“Too strong, Mr. Data, use the Kubota setting”
milkisklim@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Fun fact I heard from an employee a year or so ago.
When contractors for John Deere are hired to become full JD employees they call the process “getting a green card” on account of the new ID badge’s color.
stardust@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Is beautiful! You scratched an itch I didn’t even know I had.
Lydia_K@startrek.website 7 months ago
I love it!
KnightontheSun@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Well, they can’t all be winners, but I still enjoyed it.
The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 7 months ago
I unfortunately can’t change who I am.
KnightontheSun@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Nothing unfortunate about it.
You. We like you.
verity_kindle@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Warp 9 to Planet Kubota, there are ripe right-to-repair maidens to be rescued!
StillPaisleyCat@startrek.website 7 months ago
Anyone else have Ukrainian farmers come to mind?
Not that I’m suggesting mixing in a political war meme here, but that’s what popped up first for me.
verity_kindle@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Yea boi
Wizarded@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Technically correct
interolivary@beehaw.org 7 months ago
I said “argh” out loud, which means this is is perfect
The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 7 months ago
I live for groans.
interolivary@beehaw.org 7 months ago
I wholeheartedly support this goal
lemillionsocks@beehaw.org 7 months ago
Sometimes an idea can be so dumb, it comes back around again as GENIUS. Congratulations.
The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 7 months ago
Lol, thank you
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 7 months ago
We’ve gone back in time to season 2!
Seraph@kbin.social 7 months ago
John Deere™ Tractor Beam
No you can't repair it on your own - you have to bring it to a licensed repair shop.
The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 7 months ago
When they’re broken, it’s easier to just fire them out as projectiles.
negativenull@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Eject the
Warp CoreTractor Beam -Shaxsteft@startrek.website 7 months ago
And there is only one repair shop per quadrant.
usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
Nothing beams like a Deere