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He’s a teenager, not a toddler. I would say 11PM to give him personal time before sleeping, but no more than midnight (it’s a very bad habit for everyone, even adults).
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Submitted 4 hours ago by stillstargazing@sh.itjust.works to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
heavydust@sh.itjust.works 3 hours ago
user224@lemmy.sdf.org 3 hours ago
When do they have to wake up? That minus ~8 hours is probably healthy. 7 - 9 hours of sleep a day is something to aim for.
Whether forced bedtime actually works…
rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 hours ago
I remember being 15, 11pm is probably more appropriate. Give them the promise of making their own choices in a year, eventually they will have to learn how to live with the consequences of staying up too late
RandomUser@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Bedtime doesn’t equal sleep time, but is a good discipline to start making ready for bed and putting devices away. Getting ready for bed at 10, asleep by 11 doesn’t sound bad to me.
redlemace@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
I’m closing in on 60 and still consider 22.00 the best time to go to bed
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 hours ago
Not inherently, no, what with school hours being absurdly early to start most places.
And that’s the goal, right? To make sure they get enough rest for school. So, you set bedtime, as in ass in bed, trying to sleep at an hour that they can reasonably reach didn’t current best practices hours of sleep.
Currently, the general recommendation is broad: 8 to 10 hours. Trying to shoot for ten hours of sleep, it isn’t realistic unless the kid on question is not functioning at the lower end.
So, if they’re expected to be in bed at 10, that would mean they’d be getting up at 6.
So, totally reasonable, if that’s when they’re getting up.
And, while nobody wants to admit it in their teens, having a schedule that’s stable when it isn’t a school night is a good idea. Yeah, you give a lot more leeway during extended time off, but on weekends, if you’re staying up until 1, that Sunday night is not going to work well trying to sleep at 10. So there’s a limit how long things can go on weekends regularly.
But, don’t be a dick. Special occasions, or even random occasions when they want to do something, it isn’t going to be much of a problem to be up extra late on a Saturday or Friday. Have the late day, use the next to adjust back
Another don’t be a dick thing. If you’re setting the hour arbitrarily, don’t. Sometimes, you gotta be arbitrary as a parent because you’re trying to teach something, but it really needs to be a limited tool, and you gotta be transparent about it. So, if you’re picking ten PM because you pulled it out of your ass, and it doesn’t match their actual needs, just rethink it until it does match their needs.
Our kid, during the week has to have their ass either in bed, or be ready to hop in and moving that direction by ten. They have to get up at 6 to have time for breakfast, bathroom needs, dressing, all that jazz before the bus gets here. We tried other times, and 6 is what makes sure they catch the bus, so 10 is their hard limit on school nights unless there’s a damn good reason otherwise. And it’ll be that way until they’re either 18, or graduate, whichever comes last. They know why, they know that they feel better, do better at school, and actually enjoy their afternoons and evenings more when they stick to that schedule.
So it isn’t even a thing when they want an extension, or want to stay with a friend when we know damn good and well they’ll be up all night. They cooperate with getting back on schedule the next day, and it’s all good.
But not every kid is the same, so you gotta be flexible. You gotta pick the battles that matter. Maybe if they wanna stay up late every night, they gotta do the work of making it work out, so their grades stay acceptable, and they aren’t neglecting other responsibilities. If they can make it work, let them. Extend the trust to adjust things until it either works, or it becomes evident it can’t work.
15 is a good age for a kid to have a say in things like this, with the understanding that there are expectations to meet. So have a talk, explain what you expect in terms of outcomes. Maybe they fuck up and it has to go back to ten. Maybe they make it work, and everyone is happy. Try again at 16, see what happens then.
Thing is, the fact that teenagers need sleep that’s regular and plentiful isn’t a subject that’s unclear. There’s decades of data on the subject, and it’s our responsibility to make sure they get it, even if they fuss and fight the whole way through. Most kids by 15, they can sit and have that conversation. But not all of them. You know your kid, I don’t.
GaMEChld@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Let him manage his own sleep. You know, I was punished my whole life growing up for having erratic sleep patterns. Turns out I likely have narcolepsy and need to get tested. I’m fucking 38.
twistypencil@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
I don’t think so
electric@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
I would definitely say so. Personally, I’d just not have one. Let them face the consequences of lack of sleep so they know how important it is. I think it’s weird that sleep schedules are never emphasized to teenagers. Probably a lot less sleep deprived teens if they were encouraged to get all the fun done before night hits and then easing into sleepy time.
But not having a set time could also backfire and they end up like I did with only sleeping like 4 hours but getting naps in whenever possible at school. Always surprises me how good the human body is at adapting.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 hours ago
He can go to bed whenever he wants, but the WiFi gets switched off at 11pm and his phone data plan has a similar restriction on weekdays
moxlas@discuss.online 4 hours ago
It really depends on the time he has to be up, but I would think it’s on the stricter side. Do they need to be up at 6 am after 8 hours sleep? If not, you have your answer.