Submitted 1 year ago by AuroraGlamour@lemmy.ml to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
I’m a bit confused, mainly because I’ve never been told this before. I once was trying to talk to someone I met, and asked them questions about themselves to get to know them.
After a while, they just said, “You don’t have to do this, you know. I’m fine with being silent.”
How would you respond to this? I don’t really know the implications or anything.
It means that the person you are talking to believes that you’re just making polite conversation because you’re uncomfortable with silence. They are letting you know that they would prefer you didn’t make conversation, because they prefer silence to idle chatter.
Thanks!
It really depends on tone and how long the interaction would last. I’d consider saying that rude most of the time as the person making small talk is just doing something nice.
I’m not exactly sure how to respond to that.
I’d consider saying that rude most of the time as the person making small talk is just doing something nice.
the question here is how many hints/suggestions/requests has OP already blown past? if all they talk about is the weather, chances are you should just let the conversation drop.
I just remained in silence, then asked them some questions like “So… how’s life?”
I’d say the correct way to respond is by not saying anything. They’ve clearly indicated that they aren’t interested in continuing the conversation.
Perhaps they assumed that you felt obligated to speak to them, and they felt the need to absolve you of that obligation. That would be the literal meaning of the phrase.
A different interpretation could be that they didn’t want to continue the conversation. In this scenario, they would prefer to be silent, and by suggesting that, “You don’t have to do this,” they have given you a sort of symbolic agency in ending the conversation, implying that both of you would rather be silent.
I think their tone was kind of matter-of-fact
The implication is that they’re not into small talk.
You can choose to continue the small talk and they will probably continue responding, but they are letting you know that they’re not really into it.
Thanks!!
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Yeah, it looks like they were more into being quiet and non interactive.
Generally, I would have said it differently because I’m an old fart and not afraid to say “hey, could you chill on the questions, I’m not up for it.” Not only am I fine with being direct, I also don’t feel the need to be snarky.
So obviously, I’m also not likely to ever have to respond to such a statement as theirs.
So, what I think would be the ideal response is different from how I would actually respond.
In your place, I think something along the lines of “cool, no problem” would have been best. It lets them know you got the message, but doesn’t push back on a stranger for being a bit of a dick, which can be risky.
AuroraGlamour@lemmy.ml 1 year ago
Okay, thank you!
adespoton@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
They were opening up about themselves, not implying something about you.
People who actually listen are rare.