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This is a real phenomenon. Men are more attractive when they’re already in a relationship.

There are similar psychological effects that exist elsewhere. A job applicant is more attractive if they currently have a job. A scholarship application is more attractive if you list your existing scholarships. The effect is basically: someone else found you desirable, and therefore I must also.

The effect is so strong that it encourages people to fake it to gain the benefits.

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boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You’re also more confident when you’re not looking for anything tbh

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- bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  That’s especially great with salary negotiations. When you’ve already got a stable job there is nothing to lose from aiming high.
  
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- NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I can attest, got out of a long term relationship a while back and have had absolutely no interest in getting involved with anyone to any degree, and I have been getting way more attention than I’m used to. Having no interest, however, just leads to me awkwardly smiling, a moment of silence while they’re waiting for reciprocation, and then me saying, “Thanks. Well, you have yourself a good one!” and scurrying away to play Red Dead 2.
  
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LilB0kChoy@piefed.social ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I must be ugly as sin. My wife and I have been married almost five years and I have yet to be in a situation where a woman is pursuing me and I can shout, “I don’t know you! You’re not my wife!” and run away.

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blarghly@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Also the reason for the rock star phenomenon.

A girl sees a guy with a girlfriend. Girl’s monkeybrain says “she thinks he’s a good bet, so he’s already been vetted, and he’s probably a good bet.”

Now a girl sees a guy at a party with two girls flirting with him. Now two other girls think he’s a good bet. He must be a good bet.

Now scale up. One guy is on stage playing the guitar. 3000 women are screaming that they love him. Our girls monkeybrain: “literally thousands of other girls are debasing themselves to be with him - he is the most desireable guy in the world. Quick, scream, get his attention! He’s your perfect soul mate, just make him notice you!”

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- faythofdragons@slrpnk.net ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Or how employers are more likely to hire you if you’ve already got a job.
  
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  - GhostedIC@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Real, and even more cruel.
    
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CatDogL0ver@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Exactly. Some people like things they can’t have. The thrill, the risk.

Same reason why rich people steal stuff for the thrill.

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