Comment on Why do people especially men care if someone forgives a cheating partner

• cyngi@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Where do you get that statistic? You were given a second chance. Tons of people who commit infidelity get second chances for various reasons. The problem is it is a very personal betrayal that pushes a lot of people emotionally. This has nothing to do with men specifically, only that they don’t want to see him hurt. You don’t either, right? So you are really on the same side.

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  • Nikls94@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Right? I know so many people who were in a relationship with the one who cheated with them, only to cheat on them with another one, and on that one with another one.

    I only know of 1 that this did not apply to, and she did it as an act of revenge in the first place.

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  • IloveyouMF@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    agian if they cared so much about him where were they before ?

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    • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Before what?

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• Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  That’s not a norm. That’s an ideal you intend to live up to.

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• Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  That’s not a norm I’ve ever heard. More often than not, there is forgiveness because of the emotional attachment. Things work for a while, then it happens again. This keeps happening and deteriorating the trust until finally the relationship has mutated into an unrecognizable shadow of it’s former beauty.

  Many people have experienced this, thus the given advice. I’ve learned that providing that kind of advice can damage the relationship with your friend (because of said emotional attachment), so I don’t bother. It’s something people have to learn on their own.

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• FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Studies clearly show that a person who has cheated once is 3-10 times more likely to cheat again. It depends on the study, but the most generous 3x in the next five years.

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• MolochAlter@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  that most cheaters are never given a second chance

  Source on that, also even then, the ones who are prove the statistic to be quite reliable. See here for the effects on both the cheater and the victim.

  Considering the effects on the victim (suspicion even on non-cheating partners for years) you actually don’t deserve a second chance, even if you were on the straight and narrow for the rest of your life.

  It’d be like you intentionally smashed his kneecap then stayed with him out of guilt to help him walk.

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