But also meaningless bullshit. That does not denote a bad relationship.
Comment on do you think freewill truly exists?
Korne127@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Like yeah, exactly. With the right person, you can talk for hours and hours about all kinds of stuff that interests you.
PunnyName@lemmy.world 4 days ago
jballs@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Exactly. I can’t remember where I heard this - it might have been a podcast like RadioLab or something else - but it was talking about how happily married, intelligent couples talk to each other .
It turns out, it’s not usually super deep, intelligent conversations. The vast majority of conversations are just meaningless bullshit. Most of the time, couples aren’t even really talking to each other, but they’re just kind of thinking aloud. Stupid stuff like, “I swear I saw a dozen blue Volkswagens today.”
It turns out that people who are comfortable with each other don’t need to have deep conversations all the time. They can just relax, unwind, and be themselves.
SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee 4 days ago
My partner will talk to herself, loud enough to be audible, but not (to deaf me.) loud enough to be coherent. Drives me fucking insane. I have my ways of driving her insane.
Kacarott@aussie.zone 4 days ago
The way I understand “Smalltalk” is not whether the subject matter is “serious enough” but rather whether either party actually has any interest in it, or if it is a polite nicety to avoid awkward silence.
Discussing the weather in a car ride with a coworker is smalltalk, contemplating with a friend how one might conquer the world using ant-controlling super powers is not.
monotremata@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
This exactly. “Do you think free will exists” could, in fact, be small talk, if neither of you is particularly interested in the topic.
LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Talk about the stuff that interests you, you know, the small stuff
essell@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Small stuff doesn’t really interest me, or my partner.
Doesn’t mean we’re incapable of discussing dinner plans or cleaning schedules.
LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Was meant as a joke :)
Strider@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Indeed I can confirm.
Just a few days ago I pondered the life of plants and asked my wife how she thinks the death of a plant is defined if for animals (including humans of course) it’s mostly the heartbeat.
So when is a plant dead?
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 3 days ago
When you see its little planty soul waft up to heaven.
M137@lemmy.world 4 days ago
For hours, every day, for years or decades? That has never happened.
Takios@discuss.tchncs.de 4 days ago
with the right person you can also be quiet with for hours
Aviscii@lemmy.world 4 days ago
This! Silence is so much better than unnecessary and forced talking
ameancow@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Absolutely, but you don’t get to that point by not ever “small talking” along the way. Small-talk is how we express to each other how we feel, how we want to be talked to, what we notice around us and so on. It’s a critical component to socializing. Conversations between human beings doesn’t play out narratively like in media and movies, there’s no “point” to conversing with someone you’re close to, you’re just sharing shit.