Comment on Parents turn to smartwatches for their children amid global phone screen-time pushback
insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This has been so good for me and my kid. If they are out and feel like they need adult help, we are a watch tap away. If they want to come home early from a friend’s house, send me a code and I’m there. If they want to go to their friend’s house after school, I’m a text away.
We have a no phone until you’re 13 rule so while the watch is a stripped down phone, it’s not a phone so easy for us all to understand, plus it’s already stripped down, no hassle no fuss.
What a weird rule. You are intentionally destroying your kid’s social, developmental, and interpersonal opportunities because you’re unwilling to actually put in the time to parent.
The least you could do is give them a dumb phone, so they are ostracized less. Or better yet, actually teach and parent them how to use a phone, and then give them a phone with locked down permissions to block tiktok/etc.
They are parenting. This is what parenting looks like. You don’t just give them everything they want. Sure, you can also choose to give them a phone, and you can choose to lock it down. You can also choose to give them nothing. Parenting is about making those decisions for your child. It isn’t about listening to random people tell you stupid things online who act like they’re more knowledgeable about your situation.
Parenting is about making the best choices you can for your children, not simply making choices for your children. And I never said to give them everything they want.
The fact is, the dude is intentionally trying to socially isolate their kids to ‘protect them’ which is textbook helicopter/overcontrolling parent and deeply fucks kids up for life. S/He literally outright says they want their kids to cleanly break from ‘friendship drama’ and the literal outside world. That’s… words cannot describe how concerning that sounds.
Well you clearly don’t have kids, and if you do, you sound like the shitty parent lol
What an odd, incorrect assumption. Kids need to be able to socialize. This isn’t the 1980s anymore, you can’t just go to a mall, there are very few physical third spaces anymore, literally none in some locations.
For a lot of kids, those third spaces are via phone/online. I can absolutely understand wanting to limit exposure to bad influences of phones, that IS good parenting, but you need to offer alternatives, or managed use, or something, or you’re socially isolating your kid. Worst case scenario, you’re getting them bullied- kids can be cruel (though from what I’ve seen, not as much as they used to be, thankfully).
The person literally said in another comment:
Yes, it’s part of set them up to succeed not fail. And another part of it is I want them to have a clean break from the outside world, from friendship drama or clinginess, from school stuff, etc.
Now, I’m assuming this is partially a situation of english not being the first language, from some of the grammar, but wanting to have their kids be ‘cleanly’ broken away from friendships, school stuff, and the very outside world (presumably when not at school) sounds… look, I’m going to be frank here, their literal goal seems to be socially stunting their kid.
Kids need to learn who they are. You’re not trying to raise someone to be a child, you’re trying to raise someone to be a healthy, functioning adult, and part of that means going through friendships, even friendship drama, exploring the outside world, etc etc.
One of the malls near me recently made it against the rules to be there if you’re under 18 without supervision of someone over 21, with the wristband enforcement and everything. It’s literally impossible to socialize outside anymore because everyone hated teenagers and wanted to get them off their lawn. And now they’re all inside because that’s the only place left for them and now they still aren’t happy. We need better places online and offline for kids and teens to socialize because this is getting ridiculous
You are really telling everyone how little you know about parenting. This is what parenting looks like. You parent the kids you have with the skills and tools available. It doesn’t look the same for everyone.
You should probably sit back down.
Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
13? How many of their friends have phones because I would assume their using phones, just not one you gave them and I know from experience other parents do not do the most basic of filtering in their kids devices.
EncryptKeeper@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’m pretty sure the goal behind the no phone rule is not that utilizing a phone is inherently bad, but that you’re trying to avoid building the habits and behavior that comes with having a smart phone on you, like doom scrolling, constant social media access, constant distraction etc. And in that case, the kid having some limited access to other kids phones (If they even do. Who among any of us just lets someone else use our phone unrestricted) isn’t going to undermine that effort.
insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yes there are a multitude of reasons, not least that filtering only does so much and constant surveillance is unrealistic.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
As well as unhealthy. Why give your kid a device if you don’t trust them with it?
That’s my standard. Either I trust them with the device, or I don’t, and no amount of filters will help me feel comfortable with giving them something early. I was a kid, and I know kids can figure out how to evade filters. I’ve done it myself.
So no, either no phone or complete trust, and they need to earn my trust first.
Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
The raise your child to use a device appropriately. Waiting until they are a teenager is far too late to form the appropriate habits around self limiting screen time.
I get that no one wants to blame the device but this is clearly a parenting issue and I say this as someone who has on average raised far more children than anyone in my generation.
But go ahead and lean into the articles that blame on the evil algorithms and the evil corporations. Personal and parental responsibility is hard anx blaming outside influences is easy.
Raise your children or someone else will do it for you.
EncryptKeeper@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Given that smartphones didn’t even exist until I was a teenager, going to go ahead and call bullshit on that.
Sure is. Too many parents handing their developing children smartphones long before they should. Luckily OP hasn’t made that mistake.
AtariDump@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
But they are raising their children.
Without a phone.
Or the algorithms that have been proven to be addictive. Do you really think Facebook is your friend? You are the product, not the consumer.
queermunist@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Raise your child to smoke meth appropriately.
biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I am a living breathing example of a kid who got a phone at 17, I had a bit of a honeymoon period with it, had lots of fun and distraction, but eventually got used to it and actually use it for organising my schoolwork to do list, check the weather and my daily schedule.
I do tend to use social media on it, but only on the bus, since that’s usually when I don’t have anything else to do. I self limit my screen time pretty well, usually only 30 mins to an hour total per day, and I’ve always had all my devices without parental control systems, since my parents never knew how to set them up.
Also, you saying it’s never about algorithms designed to siphon your attention is inherently incorrect of a statement. They literally have hundreds of data metrics to effectively lock you into staring at the screen mindlessly, although parenting also has a part to play, since you also should teach your child on how to control their attention and harness it to actually do something fulfilling, though many parents don’t know how to.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Sturgist@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
That’s why I sent my kid here! To be radicalised!
… but my kid is a cat…and has no opposable thumbs…and he was already an asshole…wtf am I doing with my life…
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
For what it’s worth I’m 28 and I agree with them. Being able to communicate online was the only thing that kept me alive through my teen years and if anything I needed more quality social opportunities online not less.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
None of their friends have phones.