Comment on How abnormal is it for a mother to be her son a fleshlight for his 18th birthday?
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Ignoring context, it would be unusual, but not inherently worrying. There’s plenty of mothers that help good guide their daughters to an age appropriate sex toy, and some that will did the same for their sons. Rarer, there are fathers that will do so, but men have to worry more about external opinions about such. A mothers buys a dildo for their kid, the default assumption is that it’s weird, but not bad. A father does it, and the default assumption is that he’s over the line.
That being said parents should be the default source is advice about such things, because a bunch of young idiots (as opposed to old idiots) trying to advise each other about things they don’t have much experience with is a recipe for hospital visits.
In terms of general purpose guidance, and funding/ordering sex toys, there’s nothing wrong with a parent helping their kids in that way, assuming care is taken. There’s even an argument to be made that verbal instructions on safe use are even to be encouraged, and helpful hints aren’t exactly out of line (for real, a lot of young people masturbate in unhealthy ways that just a few sentences could prevent much trouble down the line).
In context, with the info you provided in comments, the mother in question is not being a good parent in this case, so it fits the word abnormal in the sense that it is unhealthy.
SuperEars@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It’s tough for me to imagine having a talk about sex toys with any of my differently-sexed kids in the future.
However, on the topic of safe use I have seen too many videos of surgeons removing a football-sized orc dildo from someone’s ass. I think I would find the courage to at least mention the importance of a sufficiently-flared base, especially if I’m on the hook for their medical expenses. Also, the junk caught in the metal cock rings. I’m sure there are more examples.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
One. One is the number.
CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
That’s a hell of a compilation video.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
It’s a little weird for sure. But the whole “do not shove things into you that aren’t fingers or designed for it” conversation is a lot less disturbing than the potential disturbance of that hospital visit. For that matter, it applies to the “don’t shove yourself or rub yourself against anything not designed for it or on/in a consenting and legal human” as well.
I’ve known a few people that suffered injury from humping stuff that wasn’t wise.
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Also I’d believe that having an open and honest conversation about masturbation would also make it less awkward for the kid to tell their parent if something got stuck or they injured themselves, because if something like that happens, you’d want your kid telling you about that ASAP instead of hiding it or trying to solve it on their own out of embarassment, which could lead to even more problems, because no teen wants to go like “hey mom I got [mundande object that is absolutely not safe for that use] stuck in my ass/vagina” or “hey dad my dick got stuck in [object]”
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Amen to that. Keeping a sense of open communication is vital while kids are going to be experimenting and exploring. Not just their bodies amd sexuality, but definitely for those.