fakeman_pretendname
@fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk
- Comment on Do British people say "brr" when they're cold? If so, how do they pronounce the R? 16 hours ago:
We kind of go “brur”.
- Comment on Choose a number, 1-5! 16 hours ago:
My fork is the correct fork. None of these are my fork.
In the event of a fork loss, any of these forks could become my fork after a period of time, probably about a month or so until it felt right.
- Comment on UK bans EU cheese and meat imports to prevent foot and mouth disease spreading - BBC News 1 week ago:
Oddly it looks like the article is only referring to people coming back from holiday, bringing a bit of meat or cheese with them. It doesn’t seem to cover the cargo ships full of the stuff.
Obviously this makes sense, as whenever I go on holiday and bring back some delicious foreign cheese or meat, the first thing I always do is go down to my local farm and share it out with all the animals :)
- Comment on [Question] What just happened to 4 million posts? 2 weeks ago:
Wait… dbzer0 is “divide by zero”?
I’ve been reading it as “dibzer nought”
- Comment on Michael Gove gets lifetime seat in UK’s House of Lords 2 weeks ago:
“Hi, is that Guy Fawkes? I’ve got a little job for you”
- Comment on Remember when she fucked up the economy 2 weeks ago:
I think others have pretty much covered her social and economic destruction of the UK, so I’ll add “Section 28”.
To “protect our children”, she introduced the policies to ban any books/songs/art/plays etc from schools which mentioned or suggested homosexuality in any way neutral or positive - obviously this led to an increase in the already fairly popular “gay bashing”.
Thankfully nothing like that would happen anywhere now, outside of the few countries Vladimir Putin runs.
- Comment on Adobe Creative Curse 2 weeks ago:
I’m assuming you’ve already tried Scribus? scribus.net
If not, worth a pop (again?). You can export an existing indesign project as an idml file, and import that into Scribus and see what’s broken :)
How well it’ll work is a little dependent on how complicated your projects are, or how embedded you are in Indesign or the wider Adobe ecosystem. In truth, I don’t know the full extent of Indesign’s abilities - but you can absolutely use Scribus to produce professional large scale graphics and short run publications etc for print though - though that’s obviously a little dependent on what format/spec your printer wants off you.
If you’re just using it for single page posters/graphics etc, Inkscape covers a lot of the same ground too.
- Comment on Russell Brand charged with rape and sexual assault 3 weeks ago:
This is Russell Brand we’re talking about.
I think you meant:
“He always seemed a bit rapey-wapey”
- Comment on Yes, in the 1980s we downloaded games from the radio 3 weeks ago:
About 20 years ago, there was an art/tech project for distributing Linux Source code by radio. Probably not very practical in reality, but a lovely concept.
- Comment on Be alert. Don't let Santa trick you 4 weeks ago:
“That’s a challenging wank”
Sean Lock on “8 out of 10 Cats” (skip to 3 minutes in)
- Comment on Pineapple was never the problem 5 weeks ago:
I know society expects me to dislike a macaroni cheese pizza, but that looks absolutely delicious.
- Comment on Social media platforms face huge fines under UK’s new digital safety laws. 5 weeks ago:
Nothing if the legislation was written properly.
Not good if the legislation was written badly.
- Comment on Framework wants to fix the budget laptop with its first touchscreen machine 1 month ago:
Please just give us physical mouse buttons as an option.
- Comment on Current chain of command 2 months ago:
Surely the child has a toy bear or glove puppet that outranks Trump in the chain of command?
- Comment on "Reach" news websites 2 months ago:
Other than the ads, there’s also the issue of them posting local articles for other towns on all of their linked websites, without necessarily specifying what town it relates to.
Especially “fun” if they have an article about a really interesting local project or a shock workplace closure etc, and get everyone excited/worried but the newspaper website doesn’t reveal it’s actually from an unrelated town 300 miles away.
- Comment on Twinkle Tush 2 months ago:
Looks like someone’s been reading the Thesaurarse / Thesaurass.
- Comment on WH Smith in secret talks to sell historic high street arm 2 months ago:
I suspect that whoever they sell it to is going to carry on doing exactly the same thing. I’m sure part of the appeal in the sale is all of those “captive audience” shops in train stations etc.
- Comment on Digital driving licences to be ‘put on phones this year’ 3 months ago:
I don’t know about guest user stuff either actually - I might look into it at some point if I feel the need.
And yes, I’ve only ever used the “pin app” practically for letting young relatives play games and stuff on my phone, knowing they won’t be able to switch apps and send anyone a message - like the “Poo poo willy bum” incident last year :)
- Comment on Digital driving licences to be ‘put on phones this year’ 3 months ago:
Well yeah, if they really wanted to “get you” for something, I’m sure they’ll find a way - but it’s a good bare minimum for casual snooping - avoiding the awkwardness of someone accidentally swiping onto your Jerboa app and then you having to explain how “writing silly comments about guillotining billionaires and throwing right-wing politicians into the sea isn’t actually a serious terrorist threat, officer”.
- Comment on Digital driving licences to be ‘put on phones this year’ 3 months ago:
It won’t solve the above, but if you’re not aware already, you can “pin” an Android app to lock it to the screen, so nobody can easily switch to another app without using your login pin/code/pattern.
Firstly, to turn it on, you need to go to Settings>Security & Privacy>Other Security Settings and switch on “Pin App”. The location of this setting may be different depending on the manufacturer of your mobile phone.
Then, to lock a particular app to the screen, press the three-lines button (maybe a square on your telephone?) to open up the program switcher, then press the circular thumbnail of the icon at the top of the screen, to open up the menu you didn’t know existed, and select “pin this app”.
Without your password or login pattern, your telephone will only show the currently open app. Nobody can switch to other programs or mess with other stuff without unlocking the phone.
To unlock it afterwards, you then hold the < and the three lines buttons for a few seconds, then enter your normal login code/pin/pattern to unlock. It will tell you this when you lock it.
- Comment on Nigel Farage distances himself from Elon Musk on Tommy Robinson 3 months ago:
That might be a bit tricky - perhaps he could simply distance himself from both dry land and boats, by “Maxwelling” himself into the sea?
- Comment on British girls outdrink boys — and most of Europe 3 months ago:
It is often traditionally considered to be an achievement in Britain, yes.
Ideally you don’t get drunk though - you should be able to drink as much alcohol as possible, whilst showing as few effects as possible, for some reason. If you become drunk after too few alcoholic drinks, you “can’t handle your drink” and you are a “lightweight”. These are both negative characteristics in a person.
I’m not saying I necessarily agree with this, I’m just saying it exists :)
- Comment on Vegan drink Oatly can’t call itself ‘milk’, judges rule 4 months ago:
Actually, now I think about it, that only covers one section of the market.
You should also release exactly the same product with with different packaging a few times:
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One with an off-brand Mr T character mascot, called “I Pity The Gruel”.
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One called “Bilk : Better than Milk”.
That’s a few shelves of supermarkets covered with selling the same thing. I’m sure you can cover some more with a few like “Barista Supreme: Oat-based Cream”, “Oat Water”, “Oat Juice” and simply “Oat-based Drink”. Maybe even “Oat Blood”, for Goths and “My dad was a gruelmaker” for Keir Starmer fans.
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- Comment on Vegan drink Oatly can’t call itself ‘milk’, judges rule 4 months ago:
It just needs a bit of snazzy marketing.
Just call it Ultragruel or Oatfuel and write “PROTEIN” on it in big letters.
- Comment on Transport Secretary Louise Haigh resigns after Sky News revealed mobile phone guilty plea 4 months ago:
That’s what they’re saying… but… so what? Did the police waste hours and millions hunting for a lost mobile phone? Did she receive an ill-gotten temporary replacement mobile phone from work for a few weeks? I’m still struggling to see the scandal or crime.
- Comment on Transport Secretary Louise Haigh resigns after Sky News revealed mobile phone guilty plea 4 months ago:
I must be missing something. What’s actually the crime or scandal here?
Haigh: “Help, I’ve been mugged”
Police: “What did they take?”
Haigh: “I can’t remember exactly what was in the bag, I guess my money, my bank cards, my keys, my work phone”
Police: “Ok”
Haigh: “Oh, wait a minute, my work phone was at home, they only threatened me, assaulted me and took the other stuff I mentioned”
Police: “Your list was wrong? Ha! Then it is YOU who is the criminal, not them!”
Government, ten years later: “Also, you’re not allowed to fix our railways or have a job”
Tories: “Unlike all our politicians who merely do things like millions of £s of fraud, destroying the economy and endangering the lives of millions of people for their own personal profit - this horrific excuse for a human once put something in a list and then realised it shouldn’t have been on the list, so a decade later, it’s only correct that they shouldn’t be allowed to have a job”I assume I’ve missed something key here.
- Comment on Kate Nash and Lily Allen on OnlyFans should be a wake-up call for the music industry 4 months ago:
Hahaha, yes, exactly this - and perhaps the same situation with “bum crack or inner-fold of a bent elbow?”.
- Comment on Kate Nash and Lily Allen on OnlyFans should be a wake-up call for the music industry 4 months ago:
Maybe it’s worth bearing in mind Lemmy’s older, nerdier audience?
You remember those build-a-model magazines they used to rip off grandads with?
“Build your own model Lancaster Bomber! Only £1.99! You’ll receive a large piece of the model with your first issue! Then the rest of it in pieces over future issues! (Future issues cost £9.99 a week, for 500 weeks)”
So you get your “special interest” photographs produced into jigsaws, then sell one jigsaw piece a week, eventually completing the full photograph at the end of the year.
- Comment on New measures unveiled to crack down on subscription traps 5 months ago:
Good.
- Comment on ‘Do not pet’: Why are robot dogs patrolling Mar-A-Lago? 5 months ago:
Oh, those are just to stop the kids escaping from the paedodungeon.