fakeman_pretendname

@fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk

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⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Nigel Farage distances himself from Elon Musk on Tommy Robinson⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:
That might be a bit tricky - perhaps he could simply distance himself from both dry land and boats, by “Maxwelling” himself into the sea?
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨British girls outdrink boys — and most of Europe⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:
It is often traditionally considered to be an achievement in Britain, yes.

Ideally you don’t get drunk though - you should be able to drink as much alcohol as possible, whilst showing as few effects as possible, for some reason. If you become drunk after too few alcoholic drinks, you “can’t handle your drink” and you are a “lightweight”. These are both negative characteristics in a person.

I’m not saying I necessarily agree with this, I’m just saying it exists :)
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Vegan drink Oatly can’t call itself ‘milk’, judges rule⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:
Actually, now I think about it, that only covers one section of the market.

You should also release exactly the same product with with different packaging a few times:
- One with an off-brand Mr T character mascot, called “I Pity The Gruel”.
- One called “Bilk : Better than Milk”.
That’s a few shelves of supermarkets covered with selling the same thing. I’m sure you can cover some more with a few like “Barista Supreme: Oat-based Cream”, “Oat Water”, “Oat Juice” and simply “Oat-based Drink”. Maybe even “Oat Blood”, for Goths and “My dad was a gruelmaker” for Keir Starmer fans.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Vegan drink Oatly can’t call itself ‘milk’, judges rule⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:
It just needs a bit of snazzy marketing.

Just call it Ultragruel or Oatfuel and write “PROTEIN” on it in big letters.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Transport Secretary Louise Haigh resigns after Sky News revealed mobile phone guilty plea⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:
That’s what they’re saying… but… so what? Did the police waste hours and millions hunting for a lost mobile phone? Did she receive an ill-gotten temporary replacement mobile phone from work for a few weeks? I’m still struggling to see the scandal or crime.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Transport Secretary Louise Haigh resigns after Sky News revealed mobile phone guilty plea⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:
I must be missing something. What’s actually the crime or scandal here?

Haigh: “Help, I’ve been mugged”
Police: “What did they take?”
Haigh: “I can’t remember exactly what was in the bag, I guess my money, my bank cards, my keys, my work phone”
Police: “Ok”
Haigh: “Oh, wait a minute, my work phone was at home, they only threatened me, assaulted me and took the other stuff I mentioned”
Police: “Your list was wrong? Ha! Then it is YOU who is the criminal, not them!”
Government, ten years later: “Also, you’re not allowed to fix our railways or have a job”
Tories: “Unlike all our politicians who merely do things like millions of £s of fraud, destroying the economy and endangering the lives of millions of people for their own personal profit - this horrific excuse for a human once put something in a list and then realised it shouldn’t have been on the list, so a decade later, it’s only correct that they shouldn’t be allowed to have a job”

I assume I’ve missed something key here.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Kate Nash and Lily Allen on OnlyFans should be a wake-up call for the music industry⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:
Hahaha, yes, exactly this - and perhaps the same situation with “bum crack or inner-fold of a bent elbow?”.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Kate Nash and Lily Allen on OnlyFans should be a wake-up call for the music industry⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:
Maybe it’s worth bearing in mind Lemmy’s older, nerdier audience?

You remember those build-a-model magazines they used to rip off grandads with?

“Build your own model Lancaster Bomber! Only £1.99! You’ll receive a large piece of the model with your first issue! Then the rest of it in pieces over future issues! (Future issues cost £9.99 a week, for 500 weeks)”

So you get your “special interest” photographs produced into jigsaws, then sell one jigsaw piece a week, eventually completing the full photograph at the end of the year.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨New measures unveiled to crack down on subscription traps⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:
Good.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨‘Do not pet’: Why are robot dogs patrolling Mar-A-Lago?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:
Oh, those are just to stop the kids escaping from the paedodungeon.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Man arrested over theft of 22 tonnes of cheese from Neal’s Yard Dairy⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
I think so - he definitely played for Leeds. He must be in his 50s now, so maybe he’s took up journalism? :)
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What do allergies feel like for you?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
I suddenly picked up “allergies*” in my late 30s - couldn’t work out what they were, other than antihistamines (cetirizine or loratidine) made them “not as bad”, and I also needed to avoid certain things in particular (breathing in dust, aerosols, perfumes, other chemical fumes, car fumes, cigarette fumes, wood dust and drinking alcohol).

Turned out to be Nasal Polyps. I was due for surgery to remove them in 2020, but then Covid happened and I’ve been on a waiting list since. Surgery may completely remove the problem, or at least lessen it - but they could grow back within five years.

Basically every day is like I’ve got cold or sometimes flu. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in phlegm. If I take antihistamines, it’s pretty mild or controllable, as long as I can reasonably avoid those triggers. Sometimes I have to drink lemsip in the morning (powdered hot drink of paracetamol, lemon flavour & decongestant). It’s there every day, permanently, but how severe it is varies between “slightly inconvenient” and “too unwell to work”.

Antihistamines are essential for me to function at all, and make a huge difference - though I feel they’ve become less effective in the last year or so. Thankfully they’re very cheap over the counter (~£1.30 for 30 days’ worth). I also use a saltwater nasal spray sometimes, and I sometimes eat a lot of menthol sweets. I have to be careful with decongestants to avoid “rebound congestion” where your nose adjusts to life with decongestants, then becomes twice as blocked up if you stop.

If I drink alcohol or breathe perfume etc, my sinuses block up within half an hour, I can get an asthmatic response, and I get crippling arthritic pain in my hands and joints. Sometimes perfume and other sprays can cause severe, possibly dangerous breathing problems. I have an asthma inhaler for these emergencies, and always have to carry it with me, in case someone sprays perfume in an enclosed space (which might cause me to die).

If I keep reasonable control over these things, I can live pretty “normally”. If I actually get a cold, it’s like I’ve got a “double cold”, and it can make me too ill to go to work.

When it’s bad, it’s a pretty miserable existence to be honest, but in the larger scale of things it’s not a serious or life-threatening illness, so you feel guilty for complaining.

When it’s not so bad, I can normally ignore it for most of the day. It’s worst in the morning/night when I’m horizontal.

Your case outlined in the original post sounds particularly upsetting and you have my sympathies.

*technically it’s an intolerance or hypersensitivity, and not truly and allergy, though it behaves in much the same way, and symptoms can be controlled in much the same way.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Police investigating suspected gunshot fired at taxi containing Ian Hislop⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
Perhaps a warning rather then a genuine murder attempt?

Though the list of suspects must be “Any politician, celebrity or person who has been in the news and done something wrong, stupid or hypocritical since the 1980s”.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Billionaire Guy Hands’ property firm takes housing reforms to European court⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
I think it meant to say “Scrounger Guy Hands realises legislation loophole, which allowed him to steal billions of pounds of unearned money off the British Government and the British people, will be closed, leaving his company with a tiny fraction less of immoral profit, whilst still making billions in profit”
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

“YOU. THE ONE WHO IS MOVING NOW.”

Are you The Gatekeeper from the tv/boardgame Atmosfear?
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Should you have to pay for online privacy?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
A “consent and pay”, or “paywall” (or even “register-wall”) website is totally fine and should be free to exist - but it shouldn’t be indexed by search engines as a response to a question, and shouldn’t be linkable on any form of social media.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Do you skip Star Trek intros when streaming?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
Is it a weird guilt thing?

I hated that song when the programme was new, but now I feel guilty about it, because someone was trying their best, and they wrote, re-wrote, edited and worked on that song and for every instrument and vocal, someone practised and practised and performed, and even if it wasn’t quite to my taste, it doesn’t mean it was bad, and I picture them still crying themselves to sleep at night, twenty years later, going “everyone hates the song I did for Star Trek Enterprise and now I hate myself”, so I make sure to watch the full intro so I don’t hurt their feelings.

That’s what everyone else does too, right?
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Schools to teach children how to spot fake news and ‘putrid’ conspiracies online⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
This is good, but they could really do with running these for older people too.

Here’s one I heard this week for example:

“My friend down at the bowls club said on Facebook that they’re not even real immigrants, but they’re special forces soldiers from the secret UN Army and they’re bringing them over here to take over the British and they’ve all got really good shoes and mobile phones you see, that’s how you can tell and they’re all of fighting age aren’t they?”
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨UK riots: five essential reads on what triggered a week of violence.⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
1. Rupert Murdoch
2. The Daily Mail, Express, Telegraph
3. Nigel Farage
4. Elon Musk
5. Putin’s Internet disinformation army
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Civil servants cannot wear ‘fetish gear’ to work, minister confirms⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
“Phwoar! Most of the people in this hospital are wearing nurse’s uniforms! Kinky!”
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Over half of UK adults will have dental disease by 2050, according to our research.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
The Tooth Fairy is trying to save up for retirement.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The amount of sugar consumed by children from soft drinks in the UK halved within a year of the sugar tax being introduced, a study has found.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
I did say “controversially” and “potentially” :)

I think it was the WHO who mentioned it last year, but it keeps cropping up each year from various university studies - of course I’ll have only ever read the news reports of those studies.

I absolutely agree though, I’d be highly suspicious of sugar company (or high-fructose-syrup) lobbying.

Personally my preference is for “things to just be less sweet” (like why does some bread or soup have sugar in now?!?), though I suspect it’s a bit of a minority opinion :)
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The amount of sugar consumed by children from soft drinks in the UK halved within a year of the sugar tax being introduced, a study has found.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
I’d be interested to know how much of that is from reduced sales, how much is from products reducing the overall sweetness, and how much is the products being full of (controversially potentially worse) artificial sweeteners and other crap to replace the sugar.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨TikTok and Instagram face 40 new rules to protect children - but not for a year⁩ ⁨⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
This is very badly implemented. I might be misunderstanding, but it looks like they’re not protecting children by removing far-right material or other assorted bullshit, they’re “protecting children” by collecting more personal data on all users (or viewers).

“We want you to protect children by forcing all users (and unregistered viewers) to give you their passports and bank details, and we want you to use their telephone and laptop cameras to record their faces. Store all the data wherever you like, and feel free to sell it on/use it however you like, we totally believe you won’t do anything shady or abusive for profit”
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Disability benefit claims can’t be made on ‘unverifiable assertions’, argues Sunak⁩ ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
It seems like it would be quick and convenient to use - quick as a flash, perhaps? Also, it’s quite funny they’d not thought of this universal voucher system, it sounds like a winner! I wonder if the universal voucher could have alternate names too, rhyming with “flash” or “funny”?
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Disability benefit claims can’t be made on ‘unverifiable assertions’, argues Sunak⁩ ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
They said it - “fair and compassionate”. I can only assume they use a different dictionary to me.

Alongside the paper, Mr Stride also addressed the Commons, saying: “This government’s priority is to make sure that our welfare system is fair and compassionate. Fair on the taxpayer, by ensuring that people of working age who can work, do work, and fair on those who are in most need of the state’s help.”
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why are so many bodies in Britain found in a decomposed state?⁩ ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
Obviously not in all cases, but sometimes they push you away to try and make it less upsetting for you seeing them in a degenerated state, which is embarrassing for them, and painful for friends and family, then they can pretend things are fine when they occasionally see you.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨UK has worst rate of child alcohol consumption in world, report finds⁩ ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
Okay, so you’re going to ban targeted marketing and online advertising, right?

No?

Ah, so the plan is to introduce comprehensive support and counselling for stress and mental health issues in young people, meaning they won’t have to turn to these things to cope with their depressing, stressful lives?

No?

Ah, got you - you’re going to improve the individual lives and prospects of all citizens, creating a utopian nation, so they can each look forward to a healthy prosperous future and genuinely have nothing to worry about?

No?
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨'They don’t have enough’ – schools in England are running food banks for families as millions struggle to feed their children, researcher says⁩ ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
That’s pretty grim - but on the plus side, it’s got rid of the image of Maggie Thatcher weeing on the rest of us.
⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Oxford shuts down institute run by Elon Musk-backed philosopher⁩ ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:
I know it’s a stupid, petty thing to get hung up on, but I’m weirdly offended by the word “Center” being used instead of “Centre”, in a British article/newspaper for a British Institute at a British University.

It’s the end of civilisation, I tell you.