Submitted 22 hours ago by DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works to showerthoughts@lemmy.world
Like what the fucking hell, so many families in China only have 1 child, yet you have me here getting born into a 2 child household (cuz mom violated policy) and then my older brother hates me… 😭
Maybe some sort of exchange market is what’s needed.
I’ve got 3… Take them. The oldest already has Alzheimer’s so she won’t remember stealing $16K from me. The other 2 are just fucking POS.
My dad was an only child. I have a brother and sister.
It would absolutely infuriate him that we weren’t all best friends. He’d really lose his shit. He just couldn’t understand why we couldn’t live up to what his fantasy of siblings was.
what his fantasy of siblings was
My mom seems to have an okay relationship with her two sisters. My dad also seems to have a great relationship with his three sisters. (Also now I notice how they all have mostly female children… and I pretty sure the parents (aka: my grandparents) are disappointed because 重男轻女 (favortism towards male children in China).
So now, that was before One Child Policy.
So by the time my parents were married, that one child policy came into effect.
So they had my older brother…
then mom was like: “oh no I don’t want my son to be lonely, I had great relationships with my siblings, so…”
so they created me… originally in order to be my older brother’s playmate… so that “he wouldn’t be lonely” 🙃
This isn’t just speculation, I asked my mom why she gave birth to me and that is literally what she said. Also amonst other reasons like “because Children brings happiness”?..
I’m pretry sure my mom would be so disappointed if we end up just going no contact… I mean I’m still living with my family of origin and I haven’t really spoken to my older brother for like… the past 7 years… other than comments in passing, like living under the same roof and just never hang out anymore…
cuz we had a big fight 7 years ago…
we have no brotherhood anymore, it’s over…
my repressed memory of when I ran away as a 6 year old because of I was scared and he was chasing me around the house, before we emigrated when I was still in China, that memory also became more and more recurrening, now that memory just always on the top of my head.
I could’ve gotten kidnapped that day… because of a fight… caused by him (he’s 5 years older so I can’t fight back)… most traumatic day of my entire life
I’m my case, I have an ok relationship with my older brother. We don’t see each other often, but we do get together for lunch from time to time.
I stopped talking to my sister years ago. I told her our relationship was on hold until she committed to getting some therapy. She immediately hung up and proceeded to start spreading lies about me. She has previously tried to convince my kids that my mother hates them, and at my father-in-law’s funeral (standing at the casket) she told my mother-in-law to marry for money next time.
My wife finally realized her remaining brother was an asshole and cut off contact after he took our kids to a rock concert. She asked him not to drink at the concert, which pissed him off and he proceeded to drink at the concert. Their older brother was killed by a drunk driver, so it was a particularly shitty thing to do.
I’ve often said there’s always at least one insane person in every group of siblings. My father heard that and asked, “what about for me? I don’t have any siblings.”
I told him in his case he doesn’t have to wonder who the insane one is.
You always want what you don’t have. There are 9 years between me and my only younger sibling, so I experienced both worlds. I think I was somewhat spoiled and lonely without one. Little sis was really annoying at times but I wouldn’t change anything if I could.
My younger brother and I never really got along. My parents, but especially my mother, always treated him as if he could do no wrong. If we were both being loud, I got yelled at because I was the older sibling and should know better, if he broke something, I got yelled at because “why weren’t you watching him”, and just on and on. He knew he could get away with anything with them and used it as a weapon, purposely getting me in trouble. I have nothing but resentment for him. As an adult he’s almost 38, still lives with my parents, has never had a full time job, has never had a license or a car (he’s afraid to drive), and is effectively a leech on them. Over the years my parents have run into financial troubles a few times and my husband and I have bailed them out, all while watching my useless brother continue to be a drain.
And the worst part? My mom constantly lectures me about not having a better relationship with my brother. She doesn’t seem to understand the damage she did, and thinks blood is more important. I love her so I just nod along and try not to argue with her about it. After my parents pass I doubt I will have any contact with him. I expect him to be homeless and on the streets eventually, and honestly I don’t have any sympathy for him. He could be using his time right now to make a life, but instead he’s playing video games and shit-posting.
I wish I had a sibling relationship like I see some of my friends and family have. I LOVE my sister in law, and I wish she lived closer. My brother and I are just never going to get along though. We might have gotten past it if he’d ever moved out and became a real adult, but at this point it’s too late and I just don’t care.
Want a sibling? Here, take mine
my younger brother hates me, he is messed up and my sisters don’t talk to him anymore
it’s a shame, sorry your family has similar issues
Lmao, can we switch families? I wanna be your younger brother 🥺
You forgot to mention The Capitalist world makes it harder for poorer parents to be good enough parents, parenting has gone to BLANK!
me and my younger brother don’t get along but I wouldn’t want to be an only child, I feel like that would suck even more
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 5 hours ago
I remember seeing a post of yours elsewhere where you mentioned about difficulty mustering the energy and mental strength to go out beyond your home (possibly linked to your parents being quite overprotective? I may be remembering wrong). Regardless of the specifics, I think that factors like that can worsen relations between family members. My brother and I don’t get on well when we’re living in the same house, for instance. That’s made worse by my mom being a difficult person to live with.
But I think you’re right also, that there is a significant component of the grass being greener on the other side. I know plenty of people who are only children, who wish they had siblings, and people with siblings who wish they were an only child.