asklemmy comments be like

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• smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  More likeI asked you for an o##nion not your life story

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  • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    🧅

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  • phaedrus@piefed.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    OK, let me tell you about the many layers of my life…

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• tomiant@piefed.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I watch piss porn. Hear me out. I told my friend that the thing is, to do piss porn, you kind of have to be into it.

  You could try and fake it, but it wouldn’t be very convincing. So, my contention is, piss porn is more genuine than other types of porn, because the people partaking are statistically more likely to enjoy doing that type of porn. Which is great, I think, because then they really get into it, which is hot. It’s that enjoyment that gets me off. Their enjoyment.

  She said, “Tomiant, you’re an idiot. Anyone can fake liking getting pissed in the face.”
  Become a member

  So I said, “Well, if you’re so adamant, get in the tub and I’ll piss in your mouth, and let’s see if it’s as easy as you claim.”

  So she said, “All right. If I can fist you in the ass afterwards.”

  Which I felt was a fair deal, so I took it.

  My (formal) position was strengthened significantly by the former event. And I can also attest that I could not convincingly fake enjoying being ass-fisted.

  What does that have to do with anything, you ask? Genuinity. The real deal. That’s what.

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• Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  It’d be wild if it was common online to run into the type of person that would unironically say shit like “If i wanted your opinion, I’d open your skull and scoop out the shit.” Cuz… Why would they be where people just share opinions? 🤷‍♂️

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  • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Haven’t heard that one before lol

    Reminds me of the classic “if I wanted my own comeback I’d get it from your mom”

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    • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I just realized I fucked it up, too. It’s supposed to be:

      “If I wanted shit out of you, I’d open your skull and scoop it out.”

      My mom used it a lot.

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  • Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “If I wanted your opinion, it would beat it out of you”

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    • buttmasterflex@piefed.social ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      My coworker’s favorite is, “If I wanted any lip, I’d juggle my zipper.”

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