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Military discipline is best served for the military, not adolescents. Your husband is cultivating a person who will never let go of their disdain for both of you, and will likely act out in bombastic ways. Good luck.
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Submitted 3 days ago by luminous@lemmy.world to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 3 days ago
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Yeah. I’d say it is. a hard 06:00 wake up time/bedtime is probably going to fuck your kid up. Teens are rather more prone to sleeping in and staying late as a matter of biology. teenage circadian rhythms are shifted later than young children and adults shift back as the age. it may be necessary to wake up that early to get to school, but when there’s no school? probably not his normal.
Also, just for the record smartphones are how teens tend to communicate with one another, as well as the outside world. Does it need guardrails? yes. but you’re not doing your kid any favors by keeping them high, only delaying the inevitable as well as forcing him to hide and go around your back for things he’s going to find anyway. And I’m just going to assume that screentime doesn’t include things like homework.
sexy_peach@feddit.org 3 days ago
22 to 6 is 8 hours barely. He might not fall asleep immediately and children might need more sleep.
grillgamesh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 days ago
agreed. I’d say let the kid sleep in NLT 10AM, depending on weekly schedule, school workload, etc.
the rules regarding screentime for me, are as follows:
- for reading books/academic texts (either physical paper, or ebooks): unlimited, provided they keep both their grades high, and the house generally clean.
- reddit, instagram, youtube, etc: no more than 1hr daily combined
- social life maintenance (SMS/calls/hangouts etc) unlimited; assuming chores are done, and grades are good.
nimpnin@sopuli.xyz 3 days ago
22:00 bedtime / 06:00 wake-up time daily is what you do in the army in my country. No smartphone too. This seems excessive for a normal 15 year old.
sexy_peach@feddit.org 3 days ago
I would go off of what your son wants. They will turn 16 and then 18 in a very short time, until then they should IMHO have as much freedom as they can handle.
For example if they want to stay up late playing video games, spend some of that time with them learning about what they are doing. Don’t judge them too harsh if it’s something you don’t like. They might be too old for that approach though.
A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 3 days ago
They might be too old for that approach though.
Something I thought of when reading OP. Why now? He’s 15. This question would have made way more sense if he was many years younger.
[It might be the teenager himself asking here, but hey, that’s OK]
sexy_peach@feddit.org 3 days ago
3rd reply: they’re nearly of age, they should be mentored as you would mentor a grown up imo.
Trebuchet@europe.pub 3 days ago
Based on what I’ve written I’d guess you and your husband were raised in ultra conservative Christian households. What you’re doing to your son is borderline abusive. You’re setting him up to either be a dangerous, maladjusted outsider to mainstream society or, if the US continues on its current trajectory, a dangerous, maladjusted insider who will inflict cruelty on those who are different from him. You need to change now.
FriendOfDeSoto@startrek.website 3 days ago
We know nothing about your kid. We don’t know if he’s an angel or a little shit.
Without knowing more I think the bedtime rules are alright. Structure is good. If he doesn’t throw bucketloads of ice water on him still snoozing 6:01I don’t see a huge problem.
As for smartphone and screen time, every kid is different. These restrictions strike me more as he’s been a little shit punitive. If he’s never known different and doesn’t mercilessly gets teased for it in school, it might be okay. Our opinion doesn’t really matter as much as yours and you asked the question. So I’m sensing you may be dissatisfied with both these rules and perhaps their unilateral implementation. I would just advise you not to talk to hubby like hey I asked a bunch of strangers on the internet about your rules and here’s what they thought.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Waking up your kid at six on the weekend is just cruel.
muntedcrocodile@hilariouschaos.com 3 days ago
Early wake up might be a bit strict. I mean no smartphone is a bit far if he buys and pays for i t himself then no reason to limit it at all.
Trebuchet@europe.pub 3 days ago
Your son will cut all contact with you both as soon as he’s able.
luminous@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Trebuchet@europe.pub 3 days ago
Ooft, so many red flags.
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Yikes
A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 3 days ago
I hope you mean supportive of your son.
If so, I see this dynamic play out in some families (I work with kids) and I don’t like it. It teaches kids to play their parents out against each other. To go to another authority figure if the first one said no.