Comment on 40% of teenage boys believe women lie about domestic and sexual violence: new research

• ulterno@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  we’d both love to date someone who is happy with their life, but we don’t meet anyone like that

  Yes. That’s pretty much how it is for most.

  But their expectations from relationships also get shaped by the expectations on them. And here I realise I am just saying the same thing as you, just in different words.

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  • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    sort of, but you are pointing out one of the biggest problems with the whole thing. Also in my experience, it’s that people’s expectations of relationships are so far out of whack with the reality there really is no point in trying anymore.

    And I’ve noticed this a lot. Most of my dates now expect me to make a 500K salary or something and think anyone who doesn’t is ‘not worth their time’. It’s an absurd expectation born of defensiveness and seeking fantasy escapism, rather than real connection. And they fill up their lives with social media and consumerism and broadcast that they are so happy on the outside, but they are miserable on the inside because they have no real connections and their external ‘standards’ they are a requirement for ‘happiness’ just prevent them from actually making real relationships. And they justify a lot of that by claiming that others expect perfection of them so they should expect perfection of others. It’s so… fucked up and self-destructive. But if you bring it up… if you challenge the idea that you can be happy without a 500K income… they go ballistic on you for ‘having no ambition’ ‘being a loser’ etc.

    My other favorite thing to do on dates sometimes, is to say something like "I think people are the most beautiful when they wake up and their hair is messy and groggy and they stink a little bit’. It really fucks with these types of people, because for them being a human being who is messy and imperfect is like the thing they are desperately trying to avoid being.

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    • ulterno@programming.dev ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Well, considering how the same people think that they need multiple cosmetic surgeries and then fill up more make-up to be “normal”, I see where the 500K comes from. Even if I have 500K to burn, I won’t be dating any of those, but that’s just me not being normal.

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