Comment on 40% of teenage boys believe women lie about domestic and sexual violence: new research
ulterno@programming.dev 21 hours agoI’d say a truly equal condition would be when the women feel like they have the freedom to not date anyone. But due to how expectations work, I feel like that would be hard to happen for anyone in that age group.
I have found it, in general, rare for people to get to live their life by their own thoughts and not be swayed by fads in media. At the same time, that is one trait I consider important for anyone to not have to regret their decisions.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
nobody is forcing women to date. what the hell are you talking about?
ulterno@programming.dev 21 hours ago
Yes. That’s pretty much how it is for most.
But their expectations from relationships also get shaped by the expectations on them. And here I realise I am just saying the same thing as you, just in different words.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
sort of, but you are pointing out one of the biggest problems with the whole thing. Also in my experience, it’s that people’s expectations of relationships are so far out of whack with the reality there really is no point in trying anymore.
And I’ve noticed this a lot. Most of my dates now expect me to make a 500K salary or something and think anyone who doesn’t is ‘not worth their time’. It’s an absurd expectation born of defensiveness and seeking fantasy escapism, rather than real connection. And they fill up their lives with social media and consumerism and broadcast that they are so happy on the outside, but they are miserable on the inside because they have no real connections and their external ‘standards’ they are a requirement for ‘happiness’ just prevent them from actually making real relationships. And they justify a lot of that by claiming that others expect perfection of them so they should expect perfection of others. It’s so… fucked up and self-destructive. But if you bring it up… if you challenge the idea that you can be happy without a 500K income… they go ballistic on you for ‘having no ambition’ ‘being a loser’ etc.
My other favorite thing to do on dates sometimes, is to say something like "I think people are the most beautiful when they wake up and their hair is messy and groggy and they stink a little bit’. It really fucks with these types of people, because for them being a human being who is messy and imperfect is like the thing they are desperately trying to avoid being.
ulterno@programming.dev 21 minutes ago
Well, considering how the same people think that they need multiple cosmetic surgeries and then fill up more make-up to be “normal”, I see where the 500K comes from. Even if I have 500K to burn, I won’t be dating any of those, but that’s just me not being normal.