Comment on Is there a formalized ban appeal process for the fediverse? Do I just direct message a mod?
dzsimbo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 months agoWas OP being shitty with their comment?
I guess birthing is a hot topic or maybe even a dog whistle in the anti-trans community. Just from OP’s deleted comments, I’d say they weren’t hating.
Was OP being shitty with their comment?
Yes.
Whether it was intentional or not. I mentioned elsewhere that there are cis folks who can’t have children. So that comment was shitty to a wider group than just trans folks. Its also pretty common terf stuff.
It also broke the rules for both the instance and the community.
Thanks for the reply. I see I am going against the grain here, so apologies if this comes through as hard-headed, but I still don’t get the violation.
Was the problem that OP was talking in general about the importance of being able to give birth? It doesn’t seem to diss trans or sterile people, just mentions that it can be important. Or is OP saying it is important, and that’s the problem?
I was indeed just stating that it can be important (e.g. it’s important your doctor knows you’re trans), but obviously I was a dumbass for trying to make my point this way.
Yeah, I think it’s more of a problem of you mansplaining (sorry if you don’t identify :)) something that you are not directly going through.
I don’t think you’re necessarily coming from a bad place, but after reading mech’s comment on blahaj, it looks like you tried to toe a line and grossly miscalculated.
If you really want back with this account, you probably want to let it simmer a bit. Take some time thinking about what you can learn from and contribute to the community, and message a mod or two (maybe they have a dl) when you figure it out. I wouldn’t bother with trying to explain the situation.
It doesn’t seem to diss trans or sterile people, just mentions that it can be important. Or is OP saying it is important, and that’s the problem?
The comment was made in that it suggests trans women are not women. As well as cis women who can’t have children not being women, though unintentionally.
The comment was a specific callout to separate trans women from women in general. Intention is irrelevant, a distinction was made, though despite being about trans women, it was a distinction with no bearing or value on the definition of a woman.
Its a very common talking point for terfs, as well. It is not a new or original attack on trans women, but it is what it boils down to - an attack on trans women.
One that doesnt make sense after a bit of thought is applied either.
I had to google TERF, but I am familiar with the overall notion (I heard about it from gay circles).
So I think I’m missing context. If OP reacted unkindly to someone facing these issues IRL, banhammer was in place. Just talking about these stuff shouldn’t be tabu, because of tolerance.
That being said, if blahaj is a safe zone for the lgbtq+ folk, OP has only themselves to blame. I accidentally commented on a lemmygrad circlejerk thread with ‘well, akshually…’ and I was torn a new butthole. Even though my argument had merit, it wasn’t the right place for it.
Thanks again for the details. Lemmy is wild.
mech@feddit.org 4 months ago
Yes. Blahaj is not a place to debate whether trans women are real women.