Comment on Has this ever happened to you?
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 weeks agoThey’re having a date in a public restaurant, she doesn’t need “protection.” She can have her friend call mid-date to offer a bail-out excuse, like everyone else does.
The only reason for her friend to be present is to scam a free meal and a bunch of expensive drinks. These girls are predators, get a real date. There are plenty of women who would love to go out to dinner on a real date, not just to scam a free dinner and drinks from some chump.
SuluBeddu@feddit.it 3 weeks ago
Yeah… you see, exactly because people who think like you exist, women have to look for clues right away that they are not going to date a misogynist…
Women need protection when meeting with strangers, basically all women have life experience that make them feel they need it. I’m sure you as a guy are able to take no for an answer, but your date doesn’t know that yet, and it takes just one guy who doesn’t to ruin a woman’s dating experience and possibly her health and safety.
I do know women who don’t feel that need, but that’s mostly because they are ignoring their own and their friends’ past experiences. It’s their choice ofc, but it’s universally accepted among women that it’s not a strange thing to do, in fact is the safest thing to do.
If some women then abuse that need to try to freeride, it’s another discussion, and as a guy I would simply drop the date if I were in that situation. But the need exists, it is valid, and not validating this need to your date will raise a red flag.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
No, it’s not “another discussion,” it’s the very discussion that OP wanted to have when he wrote his post.
Everybody wants to talk about women looking for “Red Flags,” and I don’t blame that at all for doing that, but men have just as much right to look for Red Flags as well. They may not be the same Red Flags, women obviously have more safety concerns (justifiably), but men have to watch out for women whose only interest in dating them is to financially exploit them, which is a far more common occurrence than a sexual assault.
We all have the right to refuse to be exploited. She can insist on bringing a chaperone, but he shouldn’t be expected to pay for her, and if that’s a deal-breaker, than it becomes pretty clear that they were only interested in taking advantage of him.
SuluBeddu@feddit.it 3 weeks ago
I just really have to say that in my experience and for what friends have told, that is simply not a realistic concern in my mind
As for it being “more common” than abuse, I just have your word for it. And I simply don’t believe it. Because female friends talking about sexual abuse is something both more taboo and more frequently happened to me, than male friends telling me they had to jump a date because the girl was a gold digger.
Hence our difference of views on this
Ofc my suggestion is not to date people until you know them a bit, if that’s so common in your life.