Netanyahu? instant poo. Trump, Putin? Instant poo. Turn shitty humans to shit and cut the middle man.
Comment on choice
CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 1 day ago
Green pill would be the best power, hands down, no contest. It would be a very, well, green superpower.
Demolition jobs all around the country, regular houses cost $4-8 per square foot. Underbid & you get every job. Old warehouses? Poo. Toxic landfills? Poo. Asbestos? Poo. Old tech waste that’s processed for valuable metals first? Poo. Forever chemicals? Not anymore, poo. Radioactive nuclear waste that costs us $6B every year according to this? Get a government contract for $5B per year for 100+ years with unlimited paid travel/room/board for you & all your family, travel to all the storage sites & turn all the nuclear waste into poo. Travel the US. Travel the world! You’re the Poo Man. Eliminating radioactive nuclear waste & creating fertilizer. Everyone would pay top dollar for your fantastic services. Getting old, sick of earth? Go to the moon, go to Mars, Mars can use lots & lots of nutrient rich poo to help terraform in the future.
There would be almost no limit to the amount of good you could do, with poo…yes, you can use it to rob banks. If you’re fucking dumb. Or you could legally shake down & radically transform the entire world, make them pay you & your descendants like kings, and if they’re smart they’ll thank you for your services. Poo Man. All day, every day, you’d be the richest man on earth (or Mars) & arguably super super ethical, too. Win-win.
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 1 day ago
CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 1 day ago
Technically any human was already capable of doing that, the pill doesn’t say that it’s necessarily something you can just instantly do at a distance with your mind.
atopi@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
You couldnt tranform a black hole if there was a range limit, which would mean you couldnt transform anything
chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Due to the nature of physics, and black hole made of poo would be the same black hole.
It’s like a question Randall got, how much water would it take to extinguish the sun? Answer of course being adding water or ice to the sun will only make it hotter.
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 1 day ago
eh if its not poo at a distance, don’t wanit
blarghly@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I was thinking blue, since you could sell the thorium. But no, you’re making a solid case here…
qupada@fedia.io 1 day ago
If their case is too solid, try eating more fibre.
Aqarius@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
I wonder if transforming all the microplastics that are everywhere would improve or worsen everyone’s health.
Predalien@sh.itjust.works 20 hours ago
Boom, miniscule amounts of poo in your bloodstream
CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 15 hours ago
Probably improve. Not immediately, and don’t go shoveling it into your mouth, but enough of the poop would have to be treated via simple exposure or a sewage plant.
City people tend to not really understand poop, waste management…give poop enough time, and a little care, it’s fertilizer. Where I live, some of the soils are very very black. Very rich & fertile. It’s the best soil. But what created that rich soil?
It was poop. Poop, pee, rotting biological lifeforms. It was poop, it no longer is poop, I bought this book a year & a half ago that details how to safely turn your own poop into sterile soil. There are many different methods, web search it.
I enjoy the benefits of society & modern plumbing, septic…but if/when everything breaks down…I want a good outhouse. I don’t want to be sitting around like an idiot wondering, “Where does my poo-poo go without 1.4 gallons of water per flush? 🤔”
Nalivai@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
That depends on what exactly is the poo. If it’s a poo of a living creature, it will be very not good, it’s riddled with microorganisms, viruses, and bacteria that you really really don’t want in your bloodstream. If it’s an abstract idealistic version of poo than it might be better.
programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
That’s pretty cool until CIA or another government intelligence kidnaps you to keep you inside a box converting everything you touch into poop, giving them an advantage against other countries
wdx@feddit.org 1 day ago
turn the kidnappers into poo
programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Ah Mr Bond but that’s why I am wearing a suit made out of poo, your power cannot affect me inside my fecal encasing
CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 1 day ago
Turn the box into poop! Turn all kidnappers to poop!
That’s a good point. Idk you would probably have to have a robust security detail. Which you can afford, or probably again twist the arm of America to provide for you at taxpayer expense. 🙂 All things are negotiable.
You can do so much good with that power, you’d be one of the best people to exist ever in the history of mankind. You’d simply have to use that power. For good.
hedge_lord@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I can turn a lot of things to poo already tho, I just have to eat them first and wait a while
sausager@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Do trump next please
SSUPII@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
We already have lemmy.ca/post/865320
JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
You show up at the capitol to turn Congress into poo.
It doesn’t work, because they’re already full of shit.