Comment on Aspergers officinalis

• blargh513@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  It takes several years, many seasons, much sun and rain for such a magnificent vegetable to grow to maturity and be ripe for the harvest.

  Unfortunately it tastes like ass, has the texture of twine and makes your piss stink.

  Vile weed.

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  • wabasso@lemmy.ca ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I just need to know if you’ve given properly sautéed asparagus in olive oil and garlic a chance. If you’re basing this on mom’s boiled mush you need to give it a second chance.

    Also I personally find it funny when I get to piss stinky piss. Like farts for my dick!

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    • blargh513@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I tried many ways, my most successful was asparagus with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper and a light dusting of Parmesan cheese. Put it in the broiler until the cheese gets a tan. Finish with a tiny sprinkle of really fancy balsamic vinegar.

      While it was an improvement, the texture was still not something I ever found acceptable.

      Also, if you’re using asparagus for smelly dick jokes, I am willing to withdraw my judgement.

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      • wabasso@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Sweet recipe, I believe I’ve had it that way too. You have indeed stress tested asparagus.

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    • OozingPositron@feddit.cl ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Have you thought about getting a urinary tract infection? They make your urine smell extra funny!

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      • wabasso@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Added to bucket list.

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  • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You fucking what?

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• shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  4 years isn’t it? I looked into it back in the 90s, decided hell no. LOL, it was suggested to dig a 4’ deep trench to plant them.

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  • TowardsTheFuture@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    That’s probably right. I think they become recognizable as asperagus around 2 years in. We had some, about two years in when were in a mobile home park. Swapped owners so they hired new lawn keepers… who fucking killed them right when they were almost harvestable god I was so mad.

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  • BurgerBaron@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    The greenhouses around me sell matured asparagus roots. Don't have to wait this way.

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  • CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    They grew wild up and down the ditch next to my dadas house when I was a kid - as weird to see just tons of asparagus every year

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• ryathal@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  It’s extremely low maintenance once it establishes though which is nice.

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  • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I’m sorry, I’m still in awe that anyone would hear that asparagus needs two years to for a viable harvest and still think it’s worth doing

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    • Cort@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Well it takes 2 years to grow, but the harvest is in the 3rd year, at least when I’ve done it. It’s a perennial with minimal maintenance aside from weeding & water

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    • ryathal@sh.itjust.works ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It’s not that crazy honestly. Fruit trees take even longer.

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