Everything you’re saying should be true, but that’s not how the real world is, unfortunately
why should they listen to you?
because they’re supposed to be adults and that behavior is something 14 year olds do and I’m too old for that. I really expected adults to separate personal life from work life and not engage in gossip like that. You don’t need to point out how misguided I was and how unrealistic my expectations are.
Sad, but I’ll have to find a job with no politics. I don’t go to work because my life is so empty I need drama or chaos. I want a quiet life.
You state you made an effort to practice this kind of theatrics and somehow mastered it. Don’t you go home back with a headache after playing so much? don’t you have the feeling of wasting your life while you could be learning and becoming a better worker? I mean I simply don’t understand how you have the mental fortitude to listen to that kind of baloney.
Allies at the workplace? hell yeah, give me the mature ones, the adult ones, the ones I can learn from. These are the ones I want to work with.
Archer@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
dennis5wheel@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
I’m discovering this the hard way.
A_Wild_Zeus_Chase@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
But you need to understand, they feel the same way about you.
When you ignore them instead of engaging on every topic, they think you are giving them the silent treatment, which is also associated with children
Give you the mature ones you can learn from, you say. Have you engaged those people? People will be more likely to teach you if they like you, and they’ll be more likely to like you if you talk to them.
I’m not saying you’re wrong that it shouldn’t be this way, and I am agreeing with you that a position of like lab/rad tech with less colleagues might be more fitting to your personality.
But I am saying expecting people to care about you, understand you and treat you well, while you make no effort to do the same, is completely naive and hypocritical.
dennis5wheel@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
this is an insightful comment:
but they bore me
hell yeah. Up until I was fired I was learning from them.
I disagree: to extroverts this comes naturally, effortless whereas I have to consciously engage and listen to a boring story. To me this is like a second job of top of my duties. Not worth it. I don’t want them to treat me well, I want them to treat me professionally.
What also bothers me is the expectation of having to be best buddies with everyone there. I like choosing my friends. I cannot fake.
I appreciate your comments because you seem genuine but this answer is going to be downvoted into oblivion.
As a matter of fact I don’t believe a learning focused person like me, relatively new to the ER, can fake being extroverted. These behaviors slow me down.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
First, it is ok to be bored. Yes, people will blather about stuff you don’t care about. At least you are getting paid to listen in a workplace?
Based on context they were referring to the refusal to engage when they said every. Aka not engaging with any topic.
You should engage with some topics instead of zero topics if you want to get along with people. Yes, it can be a lot of work, but less work as you get more practice.
Also this comment is a big warning that your behavior really is the problem. The managers were not saying you need to be best buds with anyone, just that you need to play along with social dynamics sometimes instead of never.
dennis5wheel@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
then we have very different ideas of what is tolerable: to me faking interest is already too much.
I don’t mean that all coworkers/extroverted everywhere are like this, because up until I was fired I was unofficially showing the ropes to a younger coworker who, for whatever reason, chose to trust me. I actually enjoyed talking to her because she was also, work oriented and not gossip oriented. She understood that she was there to work and learn.
I’m going to write what goes through my mind when they waste their breath: first I listen to guess if they talk about something I could relate to but most times it doesn’t so if there’s nothing to do (downtime) I disengage and learn, because I want to be better. When they speak about their stuff, they ignore alarms, patients asking for help and other office jobs and why on earth should I cater to patients when they are like that?
They’re better than me and there’s so much stuff I could learn from them, but they prefer to talk about… unrelated stuff. It’s always me the one who has to inquire about procedures or ECG so they explain something. Most of them are passive.
But this is something management won’t see…
I appreciate your post
nemo@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Yes, you will occasionally be bored at work. Yes, socializing is a form of work for us introverts. But what you don't seem to get is that this isn't a second job; it's part of the main job.
tane69@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Lmfao at your entire personality and all your responses in this thread and you accuse others of being boring. Lady, you are like watching paint dry in human form
dennis5wheel@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
right back at you