Comment on Mr. fatass and his fat ass

• MutilationWave@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I’ve got three little vicious bastards and one very large one. The 3am rip ass through the house and across my body is not the fun part of having these boys. Many times straight to the crotch.

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  • lonefighter@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    A few years ago I had small unexplained tender bruises on my chest and arms that would not heal for several months, long enough that I was beginning to get a little concerned (is it cancer?).

    One night I was lying awake at 3am when one of my cats chased the other into my bedroom and onto my bed. 4 paws came flying onto me, perfectly landing on each tender bruise before launching back off of me, then the other cat landed on me with his paws in the same spots before jumping off in chase of his furry friend.

    Mystery solved, and that’s how I figured out just how heavy of a sleeper I am. My cats had been using my sleeping body as a launchpad for months and I was none the wiser until I happened to be awake.

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    • MutilationWave@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I thought I was a heavy sleeper. I once slept through a mild hurricane but you’re on another level.

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      • lonefighter@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        My partner at the time also witnessed both cats having a cat fight on top of me while I was asleep and said I never stirred. He also once found one of the cats sitting on my chest, slapping me repeatedly across the face and crying little distressed meows, unable to wake me. Now that I’m single I’m still a heavy sleeper, but I wake up if the cats call for me. I’ve also had a couple people throughout my life tell me that I’m such a still and quiet sleeper that they had to check my pulse because they couldn’t tell if I was breathing and they started to get scared.

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      You know what, I get random paw sized bruises on my arms and I think you just solved that mystery

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