Random? I’m not seeing a 15 kg slab of raw horsemeat, no charred emu leg hanging off the side, no half digested contents of crocodile stomach, no unidentifiable roadkill from somewhere in Georgia (the country, not the state, but the state will do, too), no puréed human back meat, not even so much as a speck of walrus, ostrich, cassowary, kangaroo, or beluga; guess otters, marmot, geese, dog and cat (I don’t like it either, but they did say “random” ffs) don’t count as having meat…

The fuck do you mean, random? That shit’s about as well ordered as the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary, ffs.